So annoyed with DHs attitude to names.

[KeepSmiling89]

Nearly 10weeks pregnant so still early days but DH and I naturally discuss possible names for our little one. He is SO fussy though...here are his requirements:

1. Can't be anything Disney related so with more and more Disney movies coming out our list will be VERY short. Gutted as I love the name Aurora (with Rory as a nickname)

1. Can't be a name that's already in the family...even distant family. I suggested Alexander and he said it was his ex GFs dad's name and an uncle on his dad's side I'd never even heard of! It was also my dad's best friends name but I don't care! I like the bloody name!

1. Can't be anything our friends have called their children, even if those children are in teen years etc.

1. Can't be linked to anything negative in his past. I totally get this one. I always loved the name Andrew but his school bully had this name...our friend also recently named her 2nd son this so it was out the window anyway. However, why not use the name and make some new happy memories so it's not tainted?

1. Can't be anything he might struggle to spell...like Eilidh or Niamh. Here's an idea...give our child the name and you'll get used to spelling it! I love Eilidh and am NOT giving it up so easily if we have a girl.

Every name I suggest, he says "oh, I know 3 Hannahs" for example. I'm like, "and your point is...?"

This is just a rant but wondered if anyone else's partners are fussy with names. I love him but he's just so bloody stubborn! As long as it goes with our surname, I'm happy!

I don't get the Disney list either

I seriously doubt they'll go for Lilo or Gaston!

Not that you asked for suggestions... but how about Lorelei or Aurelie/Aurelia if you like Aurora?

Bit off topic but I haven’t seen Eilidh before- is it pronounced eye-lid?

The only Disney name I mentioned was Aurora. Definitely not thinking Gaston.
I like the idea if the app...I remember seeing an add on Facebook for that a while back so will try it out.

He never really picks out the names. The only one he's really liked was Melinda (chosen while we were watching Ghost Whisperer). I've gone off that one though.

Definitely not Gaston though!

Because OP said her husband has ruled out Disney names. Gaston and Lilo may not be top of the list but it rules out Anna, Alice, Charlotte, Jane etc too.

It’s going to make picking out names very difficult.

@Amelia666 - it's Scottish and pronounced like "Hayley" but without the H.

What about Elliot for a boy?

Yes my DH was the same.

We got there for DS1, DD2 was easy as there was a family name we wanted to use. DS3's name he vetoed as it was the same as his BF's nephew. I just told him I was having it and he should get used to it!!! He did and it's a lovely name. To this date neither of us has seen the BF's nephew.

(Fwiw - some of the names I suggested and he dismissed as being weird or too unusual have since been used by friends and funnily enough he now thinks they are cool names..... I did enjoy pointing out that they were names I had circled in the name book all those years before. Not that I hold a grudge or anything!).

I guess 'Cinderella' is out of the question then?

"He never really picks out the names"

Well he needs to if he's so opinionated about it!

@TatianaBis

Ask him to be the one who comes up with the lists.

@TatianaBis is right - make him do the work. He's the one being picky, so he can compile a list of acceptable names.

Extra points for you if you manage to find valid objections to all the names he comes up with.

I suspect that, as the due date gets closer, he will realise that he can't be so picky about names, and the very real prospect of having a child with no name will make him more reasonable.

I printed out 2 copies of the ONS top 100 names we both went through all the names and marked them as possible/maybe/no. You dont have to pick a top 100 name but it gave us a bit of guidance rather than picking names out of thin air.

Ugh I could have guessed he doesn't make any suggestions himself. My DH is the same about everything - a long list of demands but no ideas, expects me to spend all my time coming up with ideas just to veto them all, at least you're sort of being spared that!

I'd ask him to identify which of these he would be most able to compromise on, for example Disney - Anna or Alice are technically Disney names but nowhere near as associated with it as something like Aries or (sorry) Aurora (I like it too!).

At least he's given you parameters! My DH said No to every single name i suggested. Just an uneasy grimace, no reasons. I was working completely in the dark. Baby was born, took a week to agree on a name.

The good thing about the app is there's no discussion or oh but I really like that one. Bad thing is we only ended up with 5 we both agreed on! Luckily there was one we both really liked.

My OH was a bit like this although he was never as specific with what he didn't want it would have helped a lot more to have lists like those. He also was a lot more agreeable about girls names but boys was particularly difficult and obviously we are having a boy. He used to work in a pub so he knew a lot of idiots that rules out a lot of names. We got there eventually after looking through books and many discussions. We settled on Dexter we know no one with that name it's not very popular. It's a bit of a marmite name I think but we love it 💙 good luck you will get there eventually if you like watching you tube videos SJ Strum has a lot of baby name videos which we also found really helpful

The Disney list is included because it contains names that aren't particularly 'Disney'.
I agree with your DH.

Aurora nn Rory is awful, IMO, especially if you can't say R.

Right, well - the list of restrictions is one thing, but if he’s handing that to you to adhere to while bringing nothing to the table himself that’s another. I’d ask him to come up with a list of names, of course he can stick to his rules as much as he likes but he has to come up with something, he can’t just expect power of veto.

@KeepSmiling89

The only Disney name I mentioned was Aurora. Definitely not thinking Gaston. I like the idea if the app...I remember seeing an add on Facebook for that a while back so will try it out.

He never really picks out the names. The only one he's really liked was Melinda (chosen while we were watching Ghost Whisperer). I've gone off that one though.

Miranda has a similar vibe and is a classic.

My DH was exactly the opposite. He insisted strongly that our two DCs were named after family. So DS1 is Grandfather (Fathers Side) Grandfather (mother's side) and DS2 is Favourite Uncle (DH;'s side) and Godfather (DH's).

I liked the names so was okay with it. Thankfully we did not have girls otherwise a similar naming pattern would have been less palatable.

But I think the idea of handing over a baby name book and telling him to shortlist 15 or so is a good one.

4 and 5 are totally reasonable. I'd agree with avoiding names with a strong Disney association like Belle but not minor characters. Same with 2 and 3, if you have a strong personal association with the name then that's reasonable, otherwise making it a rule is extreme.

At the end of the day, he doesn't need a rule or complex reason not to want a name, not liking it is enough, even when it's disappointing because its a name you love. But, if he is rejecting all your ideas then he needs to come up with some suggestions.

UPDATE! He's cone up with a boy's name that I also like - Jamie.
I think it's because it's still very early days he's not thinking about it as much as I am. I'm hormonal and getting very emotional about it all.

Jamie is a lovely name. :)

Yes you are very early still. I'd seriously think about it much closer to the time!

The problem is not names.

The problem is that he hasn't wrapped his head around the fact that he is going to be a father.

Stop talking about names for a while.

Bring up the subject again when you're about 6 months pregnant. If he is still refusing to come to grips with reality, you will need to sit him down and tell him you will make an executive decision if he won't contribute a reasonable, realistic list.

You also need to look at his overall attitude to your pregnancy and the prospect of parenthood.