Is this double barrel cruel?!

[nellyelle]

I didn't change my surname on marriage. (Surname similar to McKinley.)

DH also didn't change his surname on marriage. (Surname similar to McDade.)

Is it really awful to burden our child with the double barrel surname "McKinley-McDade"?! I always assumed it would be out of the question, but now that I'm pregnant I find myself considering it....

I know it's cumbersome and doesn't flow well. However, I also know both our families are very tight knit, with strong identities, (partly why I didn't change my name in the first place!) and I think it is important for our baby to identify with both equally.

(I did think originally maybe it's a better option to middle name McKinley, but I'm not sure.)

Talk me down please 😂

Drop a Mc or have one as a middle name?

partyatthepalace, ridiculous? I rather think suggesting any opinion that differs from yours is an absolute based in fact is somewhat more ridiculous.

Double barrel names are naff, in the extreme, in my opinion. Is that better? A bit estuary.

@Mamagotskills

If you must then you definitely don’t need two Mcs so I’d drop one as suggested.

@C152 I’ve got a 10 yo with a different surname, been with stepdad for 8 years. Travelled alone with DC and as a family (3 different surnames between us at one point) I’ve never been asked a single question at any border.

Perhaps I look shifty then, as I get asked every time!

Could you do McKinley-Dade ?

I used to work in the airline industry and there were different procedures for a parent travelling with a child who had a different surname to his/her parent.

Friends of ours got around this by giving their DD one of their surnames as a first name. So, Mr Mackenzie and Mrs Macintosh called their DD Mackenzie Macintosh. Which I think is really cool.

I'd drop both 'Mc's actually rather than one. The name that follows the Mc is the family name technically and if it's important to both families you should treat both surnames the same. Does that combination work?

I like it - especially with a short first name as pp have said.
I have a long double barrel surname from birth (both parents names) and love having it/will not change it. It feels important to have both my parents names. I know a lot of people with db surnames and none of us hate it or think it’s naff, if that helps.

I think two Macs sounds like something you'd order at McDonald's

I would use one as a middle name.

I actually really like it, I think the two 'Mc' beginnings flow really nicely. I'd probably go for a shorter first name, but which is what I've done with my daughter's name. But to be honest, I double barrelled my name when I married, and I have an unusual three syllable name and it works fine, so I'd say go for it. If the child doesn't like it when they're older they can always just use one as a middle name. At least they have options!

Whatever you choose, imagine them having a lifetime of ringing insurance companies etc. then having to spell that phonetically, or corporate email addresses.
I'd personally choose a shorter option, as suggested use McKinley as a middle name. Perhaps drop the Mc's and have Kinley-Dade if you do like the hyphen idea?x

Kinley-Dade.

Just give the baby your name.

Double barrels are an mouthful at the best of times, and really just kicking the problem into the long grass; what if you're DC had a baby with another double-barrelled? Quad barrel?

I didn't want to double barrel as the babes didn't go, and there was no way on Earth I was going to grow humans in my own body and give them someone else's name!

I gave him the option to change his name, including us both choosing a new surname but he wasn't into it so my kids have my name.

From being young I noticed that lots of my mum's feminist friends had kept their maiden names when they got married but the kids got the dad's name. Or just seemed absolutely mad to me.

If a man wants to try to insist that the baby you carry gets his name and not yours, he's clearly a bit of a twat. Ask him why, dig into it and he'll either realise he's unreasonable or have to admit that he thinks men are more important than women. Twat.

Sorry OP, as someone who also didn't go for a much theoretically wanted double barrel due to too much surname punctuation, you can't do that to a child!

OP, I have a long double barrelled name and I love it! It's not got the double mc though. I like the fact that no one else in the world ( except sibling) has it. I didn't change it when I got married and I'm really pleased because it's part of my identity. I also like the idea that a PP suggested of just having one mc- that's cool too. Good luck

I don't think it's an issue. It represents you both and it doesn't create a rude word or meaning it's just a double Mc.

I think it a good thing, as it's meaning teaches your child about equality of the sexes.

Double barrelled names aren't naff, that's pure snobbery and small mindedness.

Maybe just use yours but you could give your husbands as a middle name?

I think it is incredibly cumbersome at best!

I have a child in my class (Year 2), with a 7 syllable double barrelled surname, and her parents INSIST that she has it written on everything and that we use it in its full form. This poor child has SEND so really struggles to write/spell this name (she struggles writing her 4 syllable first name!) so the whole name is completely impossible for her to try to copy down, write or spell. I feel so bad for her when I say (many times a day!!) 'Make sure you've written your name on the back before you hand it in!' (Obviously I always ensure that I go over and quietly support her with this, but still 🤦‍♀️)

So no, please don't do this OP!

Ooh, please call the kid McKenzie Macauley McKinley-Mcdaid 🤣

Drop a Mc, or both. You don’t need the hyphen, just two surnames.

Sorry OP, I think it sounds clunky and cumbersome. Full disclosure I'm not a big fan of double barrelled names anyway but that really is a lot.
I also don't understand what the plan is longer term when parents double barrel their children's names. When they get married and have children whose names should be used? Clearly you can't just keep adding on.

I think it sounds pretty cool, OP. But MN is full of people who think that unless all members of a family have the same surname (preferably the husband's) then they're not a team. Or a unit. Something like that.

And they get in a proper tailspin when they try to imagine two double-barreled people marrying.

Drop the McKinley and replace with Jarvis - baby's full name: Jack Victor (or Jacqui Victoria) Jarvis-McDade

And they get in a proper tailspin when they try to imagine two double-barreled people marrying.

It's just mathematical fact, though: unless you're willing for the third generation to potentially have 16 surnames, something somewhere along the line has to give.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

And they get in a proper tailspin when they try to imagine two double-barreled people marrying.

It's just mathematical fact, though: unless you're willing for the third generation to potentially have 16 surnames, something somewhere along the line has to give.

Example of tailspin.

What do people seriously think happens when two double-barreled people meet, fuck, fall in love and marry?

That they end up with a quadruple-barrel name? Possible but highly unlikely I'd say. Wouldn't you?

Names do not need to be static things.

Shocking.