Is this double barrel cruel?!

[nellyelle]

I didn't change my surname on marriage. (Surname similar to McKinley.)

DH also didn't change his surname on marriage. (Surname similar to McDade.)

Is it really awful to burden our child with the double barrel surname "McKinley-McDade"?! I always assumed it would be out of the question, but now that I'm pregnant I find myself considering it....

I know it's cumbersome and doesn't flow well. However, I also know both our families are very tight knit, with strong identities, (partly why I didn't change my name in the first place!) and I think it is important for our baby to identify with both equally.

(I did think originally maybe it's a better option to middle name McKinley, but I'm not sure.)

Talk me down please 😂

I think dropping by one Mc would be fine. McKinleyDade but two is too much.

It's absolutely fine! Do it! I wish we'd double barrelled with ours, except the one thing I like about us all having DH's name and one of the reasons I took his name, is because it is a common surname and I like being difficult to identify 😂. Not because I'm doing anything terrible. I'm not a fugitive or anything. But I like people not being able to find me easily online etc.

McKinley and McDade are quite common names in NI, and I guess maybe in Scotland, but the double barrel would be quite identifying. Something to consider. Some people would prefer it of course!

Dropping one of the mcs seems pointless to me, it changes the name and no longer keeps the connection, so why bother? I think just use one of the names as a middle name. My Scottish side of the family all have various family surnames as middle names.

I don’t think the surname will define how tight knit they are. My husband and his family are still close to my husband’s sister even though she has a different surname to the rest of his family. I wouldn’t worry about that side of it.

Perhaps use one as a middle name as a PP suggested. Imagine yourself with that name and then with just the one name... which would you prefer?

I think it’s fine- there’s lots of people with Mc names where I’m from, so I wouldn’t blink an eye at double barrelling two.

We double barrelled the kids’ names despite them not going together AT ALL - my name is short and welsh, DH’s is a difficult Irish language name and it is a mouthful together. We’ve made peace that it’s up to them when they’re older if they want to drop one of the names, or in DH’s case use the English translation, but for now I’m really glad they have both.

DH and I had terrible surnames to double barrel (thinking Johnson-Fondler/ Fondler-Johnson 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣) so we both changed to amalgamate. I guess it’s something like Fondson or Johnler. It’s a weird name but at least we all have the same.

I'd go with middle name. I think with two long surnames, double barrelled is just really hard work. It actually sounds quite nice and rolls off the tongue nicely, but it speaking as a person with a long fore name, long middle name and long (not double barrelled) surname, it is a right pain having a long name to deal with.

If you do go double barrelled you want the shortest forename you can tolerate, and ideally no middle name!

@C152

Be aware that, whenever you travel overseas (whenever it's allowed again!), you'll probably be asked at border control for the child's birth certificate every single time, as their name will be different to both yours and your husband's name.

We’ve travelled extensively on 4 continents (not America) with our dc with their hyphenated surnames and never once been asked for birth certificates (Fortunately, since we’ve never taken them). It’s obvious that one surname is mine and one is Dh’s.

McKindade (or whatever the equivalent is). Think of the forms/signature/certificates that will be forever fucked up.

I actually preferred the Kinley-McDade version over the McKinley-Dade versions suggested about.

I am not a fan of double barrel names but don't think it is any worse than any other one with a similar number of syllables

So no worse than Robinson-Carter or Henderson-McCall for example, in some ways the fact it has 2 Mac names makes it more memorable

So if you wouldn't have a problem with your child having either of the above combinations then I wouldn't allow the double Mac factor to put you off!

Yes drop the Mc from one of them. McKinley-Dade or Mcdade Kinley etc

I think double-barrelling is pointless - somewhere along the line, one of the names is going to get dropped. Either change your respective surnames completely or go for the middle name option.

I would have all 3 have an amalgamation like McKindade and the other names as middle names.

My own DC have one as a middle name but I took DH surname.

If you must then you definitely don’t need two Mcs so I’d drop one as suggested.

@C152 I’ve got a 10 yo with a different surname, been with stepdad for 8 years. Travelled alone with DC and as a family (3 different surnames between us at one point) I’ve never been asked a single question at any border.

look to the future when you child wants to marry another double barreled name, the poor buggers would end up with 4 bloody surnames !

Try using it yourself and see how you get on. I was going to double barrel my DC and myself, but after using the combined surname for only a few weeks I was sick of it. It was just such a hassle. DC subsequently got DH’s surname and mine as a middle name.

@LowlandLucky

look to the future when you child wants to marry another double barreled name, the poor buggers would end up with 4 bloody surnames !

Or even before then. We had a child at school where the mother wanted to add a 4th to the school records. I refused without legal paperwork and they dropped it. They were age 5- they could have been at 10 by age 11

Mum- Dad (unmarried given at birth)
Mum-Dad-Mumsnewhusband (age 3)
Mum-Dad-Mumsnewhusband-Mumsnewliveinpartner (age 5)

Either Kinley or Dade work for a middle name for a boy

I would just have your surname as the baby’s surname and add your DH as a middle name.

@Tier500, Katarina Johnson-Thompson double barrelled her surname herswlf when she was older because her parents had split up.

I’d also go with McKinley-Dade

That’s going to be a right ballache for them growing up and writing it out. I’d not.

@CherryRoulade

Double barrel names tend to be naff at the best of times. That would be an eyebrow raiser. Having one as a middle, family name would be better. If you must, could you drop one of the Mc’s. So McKinley-Dade?

Double barrelled names aren’t naff - don’t be ridiculous.

This one is a bit much tho OP, you could use it, but only use one in daily life, or otherwise just use one as a middle name.