Did you change surnames?

[howtheturntables]

This is not specifically regarding a baby name but I'm wondering what to do with surnames. DP and I will be getting married next year and plan on having children. Neither of us have any children at the moment or been married before.

I would like to know what you did with your surname? Did you change it? Double barrelled? Which one did you give your kids?

And most importantly... do you wish you had done it any differently?

I didn't change my name. DD has his name (because I got the first and middle names). I'm fine with my decision.

If I wasn't so fixed on DD's first name, she'd have my last as well.

Men getting all the last names is ridiculously sexist.

I took a while to change my name, but I will admit it was when I was ttc that I changed it. My DH is the last of his surname ..... even though its not the greatest name and I dont actually like it .... but I agreed our kids will be his name. I did want us all to have the same name. Funny thing is, both my DCs are girls, so they may not even keep it. It may just die out with them.

I kept my own surname for work purposes. I am a teacher. Also, nearly all social media is in my maiden name.

I dont regret changing my name or naming my children my DHs surname but ..... I still see myself as my maiden name. Its more a legal thing to me. I dont feel like I am one of DHs family just because I have the name.

I wish I'd given them my surname or double barreled it.

I kept my name. Dc have DHs name because

1. Denmark is really quite racist so their chances of getting jobs/apprenticeship are greater with a Danish surname.
2. I dont like many Danish first names so I got my way with very English names. They have Danish middle names.

I wasn’t going to change my surname but it meant a lot to my husband. He’s a kind man so I agreed and changed it a few years after marriage, but before children.
I now see in hindsight that it is lovely that we all have the same surname.
I note it is a bit of a faff though!

I didn't change my name, undecided on what surname baby will have but it will either be both (unsure if we would hyphanate) or have 1 as a second middle name. Order of which is still to be discussed

It's a source of ongoing regret that they have DH's surname.
It 'meant a lot of my DH' that they have his name. Apparently it didn't matter that it also meant a lot to me.
Remember it's forever! Or until they choose to change theirs.

I changed my surname as i wanted us and any potential children to be the same. My surname will out with my sisters but me and my DH have decided that my maiden name will be our child's middle name (im pregnant)

My husband did not care at all but I changed my name simply because my maiden surname is a faff.

We have lots of friends who have each kept their surname after marriage. In each case, their child either has mums surname or is (name) (dads surname) (mums surname). The order and whether hyphenated can depend on how it sounds

I changed my name under pressure from my husband and wish I didn’t.

I changed my name when I got married. I love my 'new' (well, 10year old) surname, it's quirky as opposed to my very common birth surname. But I wish I had kept that as a middle name (not double barrelled) and given the same to our DDs.
I did have a moment of grief when 7 years after we got married I renewed my passport and everything was new name. Despite how much easier it made passport control (i flew a lot with them alone).

I didn’t change my surname when I got married, but I did 8 years later when I was expecting DS. I wanted us to all have the same surname, and DH’s traditional English “occupation” name is much more straightforward than my Irish surname that is often misspelt, mispronounced and has been the source of many lost bookings, unbankable cheques etc. I am comfortable with this, because I have parental nephews and male cousins, and I am DrMaidenName at work.

Kept my name. Kids have both names in the order that sounded best. Lots of friends have done similar. Totally happy to have my own name still. Also pleased the kids have my name in the mix. The idea of them not having my name now feels really odd and unfair to me.

I changed mine to my partner's last name. His is very unique, mine is the most common in the UK lol and I wanted my family unit to be united under one name for the sake of the children's identity (we are the insert-surnames') and as others have said for ease of flying and stops confusion at schools, though it is more common now for names to be different. Christmas cards are simpler. It also makes me feel closer to my culture as it's tradition in Christianity obvs, which I distanced myself from because I don't believe in a deity, but I now see how much in society is lost from the community not meeting on Sundays and catching up with the neighbours etc. So this is my way of trying to step back into tradition, starting with my name.

That's my take, good luck on your decision :)

Changed name. Instant chaos, confusion and receiving post for other people. Added own name back in. All is much better.

I have been married for several years without changing my name. Now I’m pregnant I’ve double-barrelled my name.
DC will have DHs surname.

DH said he would double-barrel too and we could all have the same name, but I declined. I don’t want DC growing up with a cumbersome name.. and it just passes on the issue to the next generation.

DH also said he wouldn’t mind if DC just had my surname... but that feels a bit too radical! And I don’t want people to assume he is the step-dad.

I will still use my single name for work, but I wanted to share a surname with DC too, so this is the best solution I could find.

DH and I both changed our surnames to one we both liked.

Kept my name, kids have both as a hyphenated name in the order they sound best (his-mine)

I had never assumed that my kids would have just the father’s surname.

Or that men are less capable of changing their names than women.

Hardly any do though

I kept my surname and DC’s have double barrelled.

I read posts about women changing their surname because they want the family to have the same surname, I don’t why you all need the same surname as it doesn’t make you any less of a family or if you want the same surname, why not everyone have yours?

Odd that so many men appear to have a better surname so women accept his - all seems very weird to me!

I didn't change my surname. DC have both surnames, mine first, not double barrelled. Both surnames always used (well, second is sometimes dropped!), so almost always.

Parker231 DH's surname is a rather comedic German surname, so I sure as shit wasn't taking it

I got married 21 years ago and I took DHs surname. I like the name - it's actually very similar to my maiden name but two syllables (my maiden name was one) which I prefer.

We considered double barrelling but it didn't sound right either way (same first and last letter in both names)
I don't regret it, and I'm glad that now we have DC we all have the same surname, but I think I've learned a lot more now and developed my thinking, and I wouldn't take a man's name now (either if I were to get married again, or if I could somehow go back knowing what I know now)

Also, my sister and I have both changed our surnames so it's the end of the line for our family name which does make me a bit sad.

When our daughter was born we gave her her name and both changed ours to match hers.

We were supposed to get married in May and baby was due in July, baby arrived end June but we didn't get married because of Covid 😭

She is currently double barrelled, when we get married we have decided we will both go double barrelled, his name first then my name, I'm very happy with this compromise, I didn't want to be one of those 'his name sounded better' 🙄 and didn't want to give up my name, I feel like she is more my baby than his in a way 😬

My grandma hates the idea but I'm very happy with it. I think we both have nice surnames, I think mine sounds better with baby's name 😊