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What do you think about hyphenated surname?
120

CravingCheese · 21/11/2019 18:19

My DH decided that he'd prefer a double barrelled surname for the lo.

I personally feel like it's just too long and that both our surnames are a bit fussy, especially if someone were to combine them....

What do you think?
and would it influence your opinion / preferences in regards to first names?

I feel like many of the names on our list simply wouldn't 'work' with both our surnames (together)....

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RolytheRhino · 21/11/2019 18:20

Depends on the names.

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CravingCheese · 21/11/2019 18:20

Hyphenated surnames. Oops. 😅

Oh well....

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TDL2016 · 21/11/2019 18:21

Totally depends on the surnames involved.
Baby Chocolate-Box, it’s a no from me. Baby Smith-Jones, not so bad!!

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RandomMess · 21/11/2019 18:26

I'm double barrelled tbh it's just hassle!!!

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WineGummyBear · 21/11/2019 18:29

Think they are fine. There's not many combinations that don't work.

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CravingCheese · 21/11/2019 18:32

Not Chocolate-Box, no.😂 I rather wish my DH or I were blessed with a surname like chocolate.

More like...
Baby d'Angelo - Hinkelstein. (not our actual surnames)

It's really fussy (imo). And I personally rather like flouncy / fussy first names but we couldn't give baby d'Angelo - Hinkelstein a fussy, flowy name, could we?

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Leopardprintboots · 21/11/2019 18:59

How do you mean OP

Does your husband want to combine yours and his surnames then? Did you not change your name when you got married (I didn’t btw)

That’s nice he wants to include your name too. How many syllables is each name?

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OrangeZog · 21/11/2019 19:01

I didn’t change my name when I married and DC have both, but they aren’t hyphenated.

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CravingCheese · 21/11/2019 19:22

Does your husband want to combine yours and his surnames then? Did you not change your name when you got married (I didn’t btw)

Yes, exactly!

I guess it's nice for him to want to include my surname as well, yes.
But I don't really want to include it... Or at least not combine it with his surname.

Not hyphenated unfortunately doesn't improve the flouncy fussiness-factor...

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jillandhersprite · 21/11/2019 19:29

Could you not just use one of the surnames as a middle name?

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itsgettingweird · 21/11/2019 19:32

My ds is hyphenated.

His is Spanish-English.

It's complicated because his dad and I weren't married but also because we are actually both British and his surname was changed via deed poll to take his (step) dads family name that his mum and siblings had.

The Spanish take the family name and then have their surname. We hyphenated as he's British and it's the only way we could use both here when we returned to uk. Also his is via deed poll as Spanish birth certificate would only allow the one surname - his S dads family name.

Ds loves it. Dad not around now and so has my surname as well which he loves sharing.

He has a standard name which is common is both Spain and uk. Quite a sturdy top 10 type name. Not sure this helps but I think people just know his as he is so don't pay too much attention.

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itsgettingweird · 21/11/2019 19:32

Should have said name is like

Garcia-Roberts

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TatianaLarina · 21/11/2019 19:35

I think double barrel by marriage is super naff. Sounds wannabe posh.

Genuine double barrel is fine.

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CravingCheese · 21/11/2019 19:44

Garcia-Roberts sounds great imo. D'Angelo-Hinkelstein simply sounds weird.... Sad

I think double barrel by marriage is super naff. Sounds wannabe posh.

That's not a concern of mine. It's just too much imo...

We both kept our surnames. And I guess I see the idea of valuing both parents equally but it's just... A bit besides the point imo. And I also feel like my opinion matters more in regards to this. (maybe a little unreasonable but it's my surname!)

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eurochick · 21/11/2019 19:46

We've done it - like you we both kept our names on marriage. Our daughter is hisname-myname. She was the last in the class to be able to write her full name (it's quite long) but no other issues so far!

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Gallivespian · 21/11/2019 19:48

It sounds quite mad to me that a woman would not give her child her surname because she thinks it sounds ‘too much’ in combination with her husband’s, or because it would require a plainer first name.

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MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 21/11/2019 19:50

Love double-barrelled names - wish I had one. Why should a daughter lose links with her mother's family? Spanish people are great at this.

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CravingCheese · 21/11/2019 19:58

Gallivespian

I guess... But I'd rather name the LO after my father or mother (or both of them!) instead. Or give the LO an other family name (from my side of the family).
That would be a link to my family as well. And it would actually feel like a more meaningful to me.


She was the last in the class to be able to write her full name (it's quite long) but no other issues so far! that's adorable.

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BlouseAndSkirt · 21/11/2019 20:01

Give the baby your surname and his as a middle name?

Draw lots to see which surname the baby has and use the other as a middle name?

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BlouseAndSkirt · 21/11/2019 20:03

I’m confused: whose surname do you want the baby to have! Yours or your DH’s, or another family member’s?

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CravingCheese · 21/11/2019 20:10

DH's surname was the 'plan', as one might say.
My surname? Sure.
both? Not a fan.

And I'm not against a 'link' to my family. I'd love to name the LO after my parents (first or middle names).

Give the baby your surname and his as a middle name? I've already suggested that as a compromise solution...

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MonaChopsis · 21/11/2019 20:16

A Greek friend of mine and her English partner gave the kids both names, no hyphen. The kids tend to use the Greek surname in Greece, the English here, but both names are on the birth certificate as as they get older they have tended to choose one as their 'main' surname for day to day use. I thought at first it would be clumsy, but the older the kids get the more I like it!

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IVflytrap · 21/11/2019 22:28

I like double-barelled surnames. It feels fairer than any of the alternative choices, and I think it's starting to lose the posh/pretentious associations.

As a pp said, the other option which includes both is to put one surname as a middle name.

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TatianaLarina · 21/11/2019 22:45

I think it's starting to lose the posh/pretentious associations.

Well yes it shifted from actual posh to wannabe posh that’s rather the point.

So when the baby gets married - do they triple barrel it? (Or quadruple if spouse’s parents have done the same)?

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Gallivespian · 21/11/2019 23:02

It has absolutely no ‘posh’ connotations at all for the vast majority of people, for heaven’s sake. What it says is that it’s the 21st century and increasing numbers of women (a) don’t change their names on marriage and (b) don’t automatically want to give their children their husband’s name only.

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