Gender neutral names/nicknames

[CheesyMother]

I’m just wondering if anyone has some ideas of names that can be used for both girls and boys, or where the usual nickname is one that can be for both boys and girls.

So names like Leslie, Evelyn etc but also names like Charles/Charlotte which would both be Charlie, Henry/Harriet which would both be Harry.

Thanks!

Also, in America I think Kelly and possibly Kerry are used for men as well as women. In the uk though, they're definitely womens names.

“The example you give of a gender neutral name isn’t - the spellings are different!”
Yes- that’s ny point. It’s the nearest to a gender neutral name there is. The others are all boy’s names used for girls.

Our friends have kids called Charlie and Max, ones a boy and ones a girl.

I also have a friend called Max who is a Maxine.

I think the reason you gave about discrimination in the workplace is a good point!

“Our friends have kids called Charlie and Max, ones a boy and ones a girl.”
And the overwhelming majority of people would assume two boys. So they aren’t gender neutral names.

Laurel

Yes possibly I should have said “hide her sex”, either way it’s not something that I would be looking to promote. I actively resisted suggestions to name my children names that were “used in both cultures” when my children were born too, because I saw it as an attempt to hide their heritages. Undoubtably they would be better off with European names as far as CVs go but people are more than their employability and I think teaching them that is FAR more important than any advantage they would get from hiding their sex or heritage and the damage suggesting that as a way of managing things would cause.

Ok @BertrandRussell - I understand your point better now. I think that is why I’m finding it difficult to find a neutral name (or name with a neutral nickname) that I like for a girl - because I do see a lot of them as male names. And the few that there are that are genuinely used for both boys and girls are out because there are already close family members with that name. I don’t actually even know if I am having a boy or a girl yet...

@5zeds - I do get what you are saying. But if I decided to call a daughter Charlotte, let’s say, then she would be perfectly free to use that name and it would be completely in keeping with her heritage. But if she wanted to use Charlie then she could. I do not see how calling a baby Charlotte is teaching them that the only important thing is their employability.

The point about Charlie and Max being assumed to be two boys by most people is why it’s so hard to find a truly neutral name.

I think Jo/Joe and Frances/Francis when spoken are. But not when written down, obviously.

Just give her a girl’s name. What’s wrong with being a girl? Nobody ever goes hunting for a “gender neutral” name for a boy.

I think my suggestions of Lou, Nat, Pat, Jazz, (nicknames obviously) as well as Robin, Sacha and Rowan are truly neutral. I don't think I'd know either way if I heard them.

Oh also Jess maybe? That could be either, but I'd probably think girl first...

I thought the op didn't know what she was having Bertrand? Is this not for the baby, regardless of sex?

Yes - I think those are pretty truly neutral @thedarkroom although I’d definitely think Jess was a girl at first instance.

@BertrandRussell - we probably will give them a girl’s name if they turn out to be a girl, but as we already have a neutral (nick)name for my son it’s just something I’m thinking about. What I really want is a traditional girl’s name where the usual (or a common) nickname is (truly) neutral.

And I am looking for neutral names for a potential son too! I don’t know which they are yet!!

Exactly @TheDarkRoom! In fact, I’m more likely to use a neutral name for a boy as I like more of the gendered names with neutral nicknames for boys than for girls.

So, for example, I like Sam and Samuel but I’m not so keen on Samantha (I think due to associations with particular people in my mind). And I wouldn’t give the baby the name “Sam” - even though we would probably call them that in reality. So if it’s a boy, we would call him Samuel but if it’s a girl we wouldn’t call her Samantha.

Just thought of Lex and Riley too.

@CheesyMother just out of interest as she likes numbers!

Thinking it is important that their nickname shrouds their sex in mystery sends a message. The message is “people judge you on your sex, hide it to achieve equality”. I wouldn’t want to send that message. Female and unapologetic here.

No @5zeds. People do (currently) judge you on your sex. That is a fact. The message is that if you choose to obscure it a little bit before equality is achieved then it’s fine to do so.

Out of interest, for those who seem very anti this way of thinking, do you judge people who have named their daughters Charlotte, Harriet, Philippa etc as sending some kind of message or being apologetic for being female?

Is it just as abhorrent to you if I choose to call my son Henry?

Re Jo - Jo Johnson uses that spelling (pretty sure his full name is Joseph).

Good point @DirtyWindow

Thanks to everyone who has made suggestions so far. There are definitely a few that I like and hadn’t thought of before.

You've just said there's a few that you like... That's what I meant, do you like any of these 'kind' of names or would you just be doing it for the sake of it?

I have a gender neutral nickname, but at work use my full name as think it is more professional! Not come across much bias either.

So you may have all the best intentions now but it all depends on the child.

Is this just to give her the choice? Because she might not like the shorter version anyway. My name is January but being called Jan makes my teeth itch! My nickname is my surname.

Totally get that boobs! January is such a great name! No need to shorten that ti Jan.

One of my best friends is still called by her original surname, even though she changed her surname when she got married!