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Baby names

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Original poster

I hate the baby name he wants!!

87 replies

sl07 · 13/07/2019 07:24

Perhaps I am being unreasonable BUT my OH is insisting that we call our baby after his mother. Me and his mother didn't get along. He has since put this to his family and they are all jumping agreeing with him to call my daughter that name.

I know it's 50/50 choice but I hate the name, it's not current, it's not what I ever imagined, it reminds me off a women I don't like.

What can I do??? (I don't even want it as a middle name)

OP posts:
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LutherRalph1 · 13/07/2019 07:25

Say no, explain why
It needs to be something you agree on, u doubt he would just swallow it if the roles were reversed

Alwaysgrey · 13/07/2019 07:26

Big fat no. She’s your baby too so you have an equal say.

Pineapplefish · 13/07/2019 07:26

There is no way you can call your DD a name you don't like. YANBU at all!

RoseReally · 13/07/2019 07:27

Wow I would be seriously pissed off, especially as he told his family about it. You can't call your baby a name you hate. Does he know how you feel about it? Did his mother pass recently?

Dirtyjellycat · 13/07/2019 07:27

Say no. Agree together on another name. He can’t railroad you into this.

RangerLady · 13/07/2019 07:27

You can't call a baby something you don't like. If it is super important to him you could use it as a middle name as there has to be some give and take. No one uses the middle name anyway. Dd2 has my granny's name as a middle name that dh doesn't really like but he knew it was important to me.

userabcname · 13/07/2019 07:30

I would compromise with a middle name I think? You can always add another name to break it up (e.g. my son has both my and DH's grandfathers' names as his two middle names). I definitely would veto it for a first name though of you don't like it! It's not just his baby!

Original poster
sl07 · 13/07/2019 07:37

Thanks for your comments... I said to him... if it's a boy, he can pick but if it's a girl, I will pick.

I know he's the father and gets equal say but c'mon, I've expressed that I don't like it but he just keeps saying "I get equal say".

How do I get out of this one???

OP posts:
Apolloanddaphne · 13/07/2019 07:39

I would agree to use it as a middle name and you choose a first name you both like.

Lllot5 · 13/07/2019 07:39

Just don’t do it. You both have to agree on a name both of you can veto any name for any reason. He can’t force you to have it.
In fact if he’s DP not DH he doesn’t even have to go to register office.

SallyWD · 13/07/2019 07:40

Use it as a middle name. I used my mum's name as a middle name for DD. I wouldn't have forced DH to use it as a first name. We needed a name we both liked of course!

LittleFairywren · 13/07/2019 07:42

Equal say doesn't mean riding roughshod over you and vice versa. Why not compromise on middle name?

WishingILivedOnAnIsland · 13/07/2019 07:48

Fuck that, he doesn't get to pick a name you don't like. Shut it down. Don't discuss it anymore. If he loves that name so much he can buy a goldfish and call it that.

And why is he discussing it with extended family as though they get a vote? Sort this out NOW, or he will do it for every parenting decision.

Tell him you are not raising your child by committee. He needs to grow up and make parenting decisions with you alone, not his family of origin.

Blueuggboots · 13/07/2019 07:53

He gets EQUAL say so you have as much right to say no!!

BlueMerchant · 13/07/2019 07:53

Just be straight with him. Big fat 'NOT A CHANCE'.
I'd be mightily pissed off he'd got his family on-side too and I wouldn't be using it as a middle name either.

HeddaGarbled · 13/07/2019 07:56

You are going about this the wrong way. Neither of you should get to pick without input from the other, regardless of the baby’s sex. You need a boy’s name and a girl’s name that you BOTH like. Start making lists and find a compromise.

Stormblessed · 13/07/2019 07:56

Agree with others, if he absolutely has to have it then make it a middle name. It's really crap to bring his family in to pile on the pressure, don't be bullied into anything.

milleniumhandandprawn · 13/07/2019 07:58

Ditto everyone else - this needs to be equal (as in true equal) say. If either of you hate a name, it doesn't get used and you find a different one that you can both live with.

I really don't like the idea that "You do the boys names I do the girls names" are you suddenly not going to care what name a boy has?
What if you never have a boy? Does he never get an input?

C0untDucku1a · 13/07/2019 07:59

He sounds like a peach Hmm

You should agree a name for a child.

Why arent you married? Whats the wider situation here?

Cailinnua · 13/07/2019 08:04

Give him equal say, agree you both have to like the name. But, as you also get an equal say, his mother’s name is a no. Ask him for his next suggestion. Don’t even discuss middle names.

IncrediblySadToo · 13/07/2019 08:04

"I get equal say

Does he not understand what EQUAL means? It means YOU get a say the same as he does not that he gets to choose

It’s batshit agreeing one if you gets to choose if it’s a bit or a girl - you BITH need to like your child’s name

At the end of it - you can register her birth without him anyway so he’s only getting a say because you’re letting him have one, if you want to look at the reality if it.

Don’t cave because it’ll affect your relationship with your daughter.

If the rest of the bloody family think it’s shch a fab idea they’re all st liberty to use it and to change their existing girls names if they’re not planning on more babies...see how they fancy that!!

Original poster
sl07 · 13/07/2019 08:13

He is out of order for bringing his family involved in my daughter's name choosing.

I said to him "why didn't any of your siblings choose your mother's name then" he responded with "she hadn't died then".

OP posts:
Horseshoe1 · 13/07/2019 08:54

Equal say but also equal VETO! We have always said that if one of us says a point blank no to a name, then that’s it, they don’t even need a good reason.

Whisky2014 · 13/07/2019 08:56

It's not equal if you don't like it.
Say it's not happening and the name will be something you agree on.

Pinkarsedfly · 13/07/2019 08:59

What’s the name?

As for ‘equal say’, I guess he’s going to push a bowling ball out of his arse too, is he? Just to keep things equal.

He sounds like a twat.