I hate the baby name he wants!!

[sl07]

Perhaps I am being unreasonable BUT my OH is insisting that we call our baby after his mother. Me and his mother didn't get along. He has since put this to his family and they are all jumping agreeing with him to call my daughter that name.

I know it's 50/50 choice but I hate the name, it's not current, it's not what I ever imagined, it reminds me off a women I don't like.

What can I do??? (I don't even want it as a middle name)

Say no end off you don’t like the name and it’s a joint decision.

GIVE THE BABY YOUR SURNAME. DO NOT COMPROMISE ON THIS.

Agree with all, you cannot call your baby a name you don’t like. Just don’t do it. If he cannot understand your reasoning, I’m not too sure how loving your relationship is.. my other half would never force me to use a name I hated. Not in a million years.

I would add though, comments of if you aren’t married than the baby should/must have your surname or double barrel.. urm why? I’m not married & my daughter has my other half’s surname. We’ve no marriage plans, it’s not a huge deal to us. We’ll probably do so eventually.. it’s 2019, not the stone ages.

Our daughter is Annabelle. I wanted Annie. My other half preferred ‘proper’ names for the birth certificate, So we found one that we both love and enabled us to still use Annie day to day..

"it’s 2019, not the stone ages."

Exactly. And since we are all so enlightened now it's 2019, everyone recognises that women's surnames are just as important as men's surnames, no-one expects a child to be given its father's surname by default, and equal number numbers of women keep their surname after marriage as opposed to changing it!

Oh wait...

I'd say no and stick to your guns

If you both cant agree then a name that you both agree on should be chosen 🤷🏻‍♀️

I had a very similar situation where DH wanted to name DD after his recently deceased gran. There was much heartache over that. In the end we gave DD two middle names, the first of which was my uncontested choice, and the second was his gran's name. We both agreed on the first name.

As a second middle name it causes absolutely no bother. We never use it, and as I deliberately picked quite a long name for my choice of middle name, it doesn't even fit when we're filling in forms and stuff like that. To be honest, I'm not sure DD even knows she has two middle names and I never remind her.

I can see that this might not work for you, with the negative association. I was only able to compromise because DH's gran was a lovely woman and I was fond of her too, I just hated the name.

I would rip my DH a new asshole & he'd loose all say in my DCs name if he ever pulled a stunt like telling his family, that we were considering a name I had already said no to, especially given that it's his mothers name, so that act comes with in-laws emotional pressure. He is bang out of order

Simple.. Suggest a name he’ll hate, say you love it. He’ll refuse and then you say “well I don’t like the name you’ve chosen”. Then compromise that you’ll neither name the other doesn’t like and find one that you both love.

You were a bit silly to say he could pick if it was a girl and the other way round. You both have to love the name.

Just remember that his name doesn’t have to be on the birth certificate at all...,

I need to know the name.

I should be asleep

Both having an equal say means you both get to suggest names and both get to say yes/ no to names. It doesn’t mean either one of you get to dictate the name. In baby naming a no is more powerful than a yes as nobody should have to give their baby a name they hate.

Make a lists If the name one person suggests is a no then it’s off the list. If the other person likes it then it gets added to the maybes list. Then together you go through the list and agree on the name you like best - not necessarilly either persons first choice but rather the one you both agree on best.