I hate the baby name he wants!!

[sl07]

Perhaps I am being unreasonable BUT my OH is insisting that we call our baby after his mother. Me and his mother didn't get along. He has since put this to his family and they are all jumping agreeing with him to call my daughter that name.

I know it's 50/50 choice but I hate the name, it's not current, it's not what I ever imagined, it reminds me off a women I don't like.

What can I do??? (I don't even want it as a middle name)

Equal say means you both have to agree . Is he a bit dim?

Equal day=equal veto

You can not call a child anything that has negative connotations for one parent.

Name chosing is hard.

Is there another form of the name that is different enough to be ok but still has that link. For example Catherine has many different spellings and derivatives. Kathy, Cassie, Irene, etc

And how dare he suggest it to the family before you’ve decided?!!

Nope-if one person doesn’t like the name, it’s off the list.

"If it's a boy, he can pick. If it's a girl, I can pick"

That's where the issue lies. You should pick a name together, for either sex.

Tell him to fuck off. You should have shut him down immediately.

Just say it's never going to happen so come up with other suggestions.

Not a chance in hell. Middle name at a push or not at all. Demand to call her something outrageous due to 'family connections' and see how he likes it!!!

What is the name? Is there another variation that is possible to use? Like Isabella is a form of Elizabeth. This might be a good way to compromise.

My children are not called any of the names I thought I would name them pre children because dh and I did HAVE equal say. It meant he got to veto names he didn't like and I got the veto names I didnt like.

DS has a middle name I would never in a million years have picked but he is named after dh's late brother who dh was very close to. So I stepped back there accepting that took precedence to what I would have preferred (luckily it goes well with his first name)

However our childrens names were many hours of debating negotiating and discussions and now 15 years + I still love them and feel we made good choices.

No clue why have is in capitals :)

Doesn’t matter what the name is, just no way.

Equal day means it has to be something you both agree on. That might mean neither of you gets your favourite, but neither of you can expect the other to use a name you dislike.

Use it as a middle name and as you've said OH instead of DH are your last names different? Use yours and use a first name you both like.

Maybe have two middle names and you use a family name from your side too.

He does get a say but you're both the parents so your child shouldn't have a first name either of you hate.

Equal say means you both have to like it. Better to have a name you both quite like than one where is loved and hated equally.

Tell him the name is off the table. He can then start thinking of some alternatives.

Obviously do not cave and use the name. Don’t even think about it! The fact that he has got his family involved is completely out of order.

Also, who’s surname is the baby going to have? If he’s insisting on his because ‘tradition’ (regardless of who is actually carrying / birthing the baby) then I think you should get even more say than him on her first names.

He sounds like a prince!

You need to sit down and choose a name together. You cannot go with a name either of you dislike.

I’ve got a 5 month old and my husband and I got equal say. There’s names I LOVED and he hated so we didn’t use them and vice versa.

Also as you’re not married I assume baby will have your surname?

Print two lists of the top 250 baby names, one for each of you. Tick any you like. Print two lists of the names both of you ticked, and give each name a mark out of 5. Take the top 5 names and from these, write down the first and middle name combinations. Vote again out of 5. Top-scoring name wins.

Equal say does not mean unilateral say. Both of you get a veto on any name. You have vetoed this one, you both have to live with it. Tbh I'd have pretty serious concerns about the future relationship being as he is so utterly unreasonable here.

Say you don't like the name, end of.

Well, if you’re not married it’s up to you whether he’s on the birth certificate.............

Depends what the name is. Is it something you can alter and modernise?

Or is it something like Joyce/Maureen/Sheila

As you are not married, you could just register the baby alone if he keeps insisting. Will baby have his surname too?

For a deceased grandmother, giving her name as one of your baby's middle names would be quite fitting.

I appreciate she was a pain as your MIL but she's gone now, can't you make your peace with her?

As others have said, you have equal rights to veto a name. Obviously it's a bit trickier when it is his mother's name but it still stands. I would rather name my children a name we both thought was OK than a name one of us loved and one hated. Personally I'm not a fan of naming after people. Why his mother and not yours? What if you have another girl, do they have a family name too? It's all to complicated for me.

Yeah equal say means finding a name that you both agree on. Me and DH vetoed loads of each others names. It was hard but we found something we could agree on.

Middle name is a fair solution and what i would do if DH insisted on something similar.

My son’s father was adamant we would use the name Colin (!) He is not called Colin and we’re divorced now.

Isn’t this what middle names are for?

Technically you both get equal right to choose, and I know it's not a popular opinion on here, but imo morally the mum should have a bit more say. She is so much more involved in the making of the baby, pregnancy, hormones, the birth etc. It can be such a difficult time emotionally and physically after having a baby, I think it's quite cruel of your dh to insist on a name he knows you don't like. I chose my DC's names, my dh vetoed any he didn't like, that worked for us.

Equal say means 50:50 he gets to veto any of your choices he doesn’t like, you get to veto any of his you don’t like.

I hate the - “I’m the mum, I carried the baby so I get to decide”. I also don’t like the dad names the boys, the mum the girls. You both made the baby 50:50 so get an equal say in the name.