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Baby names

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Original poster

Going by middle name

90 replies

Jessica011 · 28/11/2018 21:39

Hi

I know it shouldn't get to me but it does... I'm sick of people saying my child's name is unusual and obviously by their faces hate my daughters name. In turn it's made me really hate my own daughters name and now I'd really like for her to go by her middle name.

I did have doubts for a very long time about her name as my husband choose it as in his heart he just felt she was this name and I've tried to love it too, but in truth I've suffered for nearly a year now with this name.

I hate the fact I dislike my daughters name.

Please help.

My question is, how quickly could a middle name be got used to? X

OP posts:
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farrahbright · 28/11/2018 21:42

My sister went by middle name after aged 16 and no one bat an eye.

In a similar vein a friend of mine stopped calling herself "Izzy" and went by "Bella"- a few hiccups down the line but easily done.

33goingon64 · 28/11/2018 21:43

In Wales it's very common to be known by your middle name. My DH, both his parents and many of his friends are known by their middle names and it's rarely a problem.

Original poster
Jessica011 · 28/11/2018 21:44

Thanks for your reply.
I'm hoping people will adapt but I'm worried I'll have to keep correcting, especially her young friends who have learned her name x

OP posts:
Twinkie777 · 28/11/2018 21:45

It’s a pain. Always known by my middle name but all legal documents have to be in first name. Banks, healthcare, marriage etc

farrahbright · 28/11/2018 21:47

All very easy when it's not me but I suppose the sooner the better Smile

Original poster
Jessica011 · 28/11/2018 21:47

Can you legally change the names around? X

OP posts:
Winterwonderland12 · 28/11/2018 21:51

Probably a pain as all records, school certificates, passport etc have first name on them?

Original poster
Jessica011 · 28/11/2018 21:54

My daughter is just 2, so there isn't too many records yet of her name, just birth ccertificate really x

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 28/11/2018 22:24

But if your DH loves the name and your daughter is used to it by now, I would think it's (a) not your sole decision and (b) not a good idea.

bridgetreilly · 28/11/2018 22:25

My daughter is just 2, so there isn't too many records yet of her name, just birth ccertificate really x

Medical records are a nightmare to change, and she should have plenty of those.

Original poster
Jessica011 · 28/11/2018 22:28

My husband does love it so much and he says it will break his heart but will agree to a change.

I know it sounds mean and I'm really not a horrible person, I just really wish I'd gone with her middle name.

I really have tried to love it x

OP posts:
BuffaloCauliflower · 28/11/2018 22:45

Did you love it when you chose it and only stopped after seeing people’s reactions? If so sod them!

What’s the name?

BuffaloCauliflower · 28/11/2018 22:46

Sorry I’ve just seen it was your husband who loved it. I think it would be a bit unfair to change it now she’s two and knows her name.

Original poster
Jessica011 · 28/11/2018 22:50

Her name is Esme Alice.

I love the name Alice but my husband loved Esme and I was so tired after a long labour I agreed, then it was announced :( x

OP posts:
SnowyPaws5 · 28/11/2018 22:51

Did you love it when you chose it and only stopped after seeing people’s reactions? If so sod them!

I agree. Don't change it because of other people. I know a couple of women who go by their middle names but this was because their parents just decided to call them that, not because other people hated their name.

What is her name?

SnowyPaws5 · 28/11/2018 22:52

Esme Alice is lovely. How rude of people to pull faces/suggest they hate it.

Change it if you feel that's the right decision for you, your DH and your daughter. But I agree that it might be hard to get your DD to adjust to a new name.

Winterwonderland12 · 28/11/2018 23:02

At age 2 your dd knows her name, Esme. I think it would be confusing and unfair to change it to another name, Alice.

I'd wait until your dd is older and include her in the decision, especially as your dh lives the name.

Winterwonderland12 · 28/11/2018 23:05

Sorry loves (not lives)

Pinkyyy · 28/11/2018 23:18

I was expecting something really strange and difficult to pronounce, Esme is a reasonably common name and I'm surprised you're having these issues. My DM has always gone by her middle name so I'm sure it wouldn't be an issue

ZebraKid71 · 28/11/2018 23:19

I personally think 2 is too old to change her name. It isn't fair.

stinkypoo · 28/11/2018 23:21

We have had a few people at work who are known by their middle names - can be an issue with workstuff if they only go on passport names for all the emails etc, but generally no issue at all .

Sidandbump · 28/11/2018 23:24

Esme is a beautiful name and not that unusual (I have taught a few and know of adult Esme's). If you do want to change it maybe start calling her Esme Alice every time and slowly drop the Esme. It will give her and others chance to get used to her being an Alice as well as an Esme.

stinkypoo · 28/11/2018 23:26

It also happened a lot 30+ years ago as children were given family names for the first name, then known by their middle names there whole lives.
Thinking about it, it was actually really common with my Mum's generation & doesn't seem to cause that many problems.

dodofofo · 28/11/2018 23:28

Oh goodness, I love Esme!! Whatever your choice is, it has to suit you all. Good luck OP.

Bacciferous · 28/11/2018 23:34

I love Esme but it's not about me of course. My dad and his brothers have all been known by their middle name. Hasn't caused any problems

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