Going by middle name

[Jessica011]

Hi

I know it shouldn't get to me but it does... I'm sick of people saying my child's name is unusual and obviously by their faces hate my daughters name. In turn it's made me really hate my own daughters name and now I'd really like for her to go by her middle name.

I did have doubts for a very long time about her name as my husband choose it as in his heart he just felt she was this name and I've tried to love it too, but in truth I've suffered for nearly a year now with this name.

I hate the fact I dislike my daughters name.

Please help.

My question is, how quickly could a middle name be got used to? X

OP why would you want there to be another Esme in your DD's class?
Also saying a name is the same as your great grandmother's isn't a nasty thing to say at all. Nor is asking which was it is pronounced. Please don't give your DD a complex about her perfectly normal name.

I can't imagine why people would dislike her name, it's beautiful and also quite popular! At least around my area.

The grandma comment she make me feel I've given her a really old lady name that is odd on a young child like Gladdis or something.

I want her to share her name with many because then that to me means it's popular and loved by a lot of people, where as if something is unusual or outside the top names to me it means they are disliked by many or people think I wouldn't call my child that! X

I can’t bear the name personally, but it’s quite popular so I’m not sure why it’s causing such issues.

It’s fine to change a name at any age, but it would be convenient to do so before she starts school.

I think Alice goes better with Grace.

Esme has been pretty solidly in the top 100 for many years. It's 36 this year according to a very quick google. Not too popular that your DD will have to be known as Esme Sirname in class, but common enough that it's not unusual.

Honestly, everyone will have a different opinion. Esme is a lovely name. Personally, I'd hate to be called Grace. So, it's not universally acknowledged that one name is beautiful and the other isn't.

At this stage I rather feel that your daughter deserves a say in it. It's her name afterall.

And I don't think it's an advantage necessarily to know other people with your name. My name is very traditional and quite common in my generation and above. I always wanted something more distinctive!

I'm surprised people think Esme is unusual, as PPs have said, it's quite popular at the moment.
Personally, I don't like Alice, can't escape the "lice" but and it makes me feel itchy but I'd never say that to anyone in real life.
Surely the etiquette is to say, "that's lovely!" in response to any baby name?
You must know some rude people!

I want her to share her name with many because then that to me means it's popular

Really? You purposefully want to choose a name that's already used by lots of others (which really defeats its purpose) just to feel validated in your name choice?!

I think you need to deal with your insecurities rather than change your 2 year old's name.

You sound like your self esteem is low. Honestly nobody cares what you call your child and of anyone is judging you then that really is all about them being nasty and not you or your lovely daughter.

That's she's happy and loved is really all that matters.

I love, love, love both Esme and Grace, they are both beautiful and were two of the names we'd have picked if we'd had a girl but we had all boys!

There are a few little girls called Esme where I live (NI) so to me it's not uncommon or unusual.

My name is quite uncommon/unusual and although I'm early 40s I've only ever met one other person (when I was a child) with the same name which to be honest I really like as when people say my name I know it's me they're talking to and not maybe one of the dozens of Sharon/Claire/Sandra's etc that I know.

When our boys were born we tried to give them names that weren't overly popular in our area but some of their names have become very popular in the last few years which is a bit of a pain especially when you went to the school gate and called a name and maybe 7 or 8 boys with the same name came running!

Peope are always going to pull faces and make comments on names. No emotional intelligence. Esme Alice is a beautiful name. I wouldnt change it now but wait until shes older and has her own views. I have days when i wished id picked different names for my children.

I know several little girls called Esme. I much prefer it to Alice and I only know two with that name, so Esme is definitely the more popular of the two where I am.

I do have low self esteem and the name thing hasn't helped.

I just associate more popular names as a good thing as it must mean if lots of people like the name that's because it's nice.

I just don't want her to resent me for not calling her a name in the top 10 like Grace's x

Also I think you might be surprised at how many Esmes you will come across when she starts school etc. Its a name thats been gaining in popularity for a while. I think Grace and Esme are lovely together.

It's all Ava's, Ella's and Bella's where we live.

Thank you for making me feel better everyone, I really don't feel that the name is as odd as I first thought now xx

It annoys me that my dds (14) name is now in the top 10 girls names. When i had her i knew noone with her name. I predict Esme will be in the top ten in a few years. Its like the new version of Emma

It’s a beautiful name.

Why does it annoy you? Xx

I loved the name and didnt want to chose something that everyone else already had picked.

Do you think you could use a similar nickname and learn to love the name Esme? Maybe get some positive association? You could use Emmy, Essie or even Mimi I guess. It could just be your nickname for her so your husband could carry on using her full name.

I hope you find a way to be happy - I think Esme is lovely.

OH always been known by middle name, first name family name. It is disconcerting when the authorities ask to speak to him by his first name though.