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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Husband cousin's named her twins like my children ?!

119 replies

Elsafairly · 28/08/2018 19:35

Hey everyone

Here's my dilemma, my husband's cousin who lives 10 minutes away and who see at least one a week ( She is his only family left) had two gorgeous babies , a boy and a girl she named Ayaan and Issa. The same name I chose for my daughter (5) and son (8 months) I am really sad about it, those names reflect my culture ( I am from Ethiopia, and DH is English). So I feel like two little blonde babies with those name is a bit odd, or at least she could have asked me some advices on culturally similar names. My husband is mad at me, and think I should be flattered. But I am struggling to do so. I have not told her anything, and I will not. But now we gonna have 4 cousins with the same names, who will spend a lot of time together... Do you think I am being unreasonable ?

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Original poster

Elsafairly · 28/08/2018 20:12

I am glad I am not crazy and overreacting. DH does not want to offend her, because if she gets offended she is capable of stopping to talk to him ( she did it before for more than a year), so I don't want to ruin this for him. I will just have to accept it. Giving that 3 other children have very traditional English names, I just can't believe she picked something so different, or at least if she wanted 'foreign' name she should have picked something else.

OP posts:

Frusso · 28/08/2018 20:12

My half-sibling named her child pretty much the same name as mine
same name different spelling, think john/Jon or Emily/Emilie.

Whilst it's a bit weird, there's nothing to be done about it and my dc is (years) older to clearly she copied me and that's the way it will always look

Bellabutterfly2016 · 28/08/2018 20:17

That's just odd - I'd message her and tell her how offended you are if it was me! Especially as she has no cultural connection with those names.

BettyBooper · 28/08/2018 20:17

Ah so she has form for being OTT. Yeah you don't have anything to gain from poking this. Be content that she is barking!

Cosmoa · 28/08/2018 20:19

What the actual fuck? I would be actually fuming!!! How bloody rude to not even discuss it with you first. You are totally not being unreasonable. My jaw would hit the floor!

headinhands · 28/08/2018 20:19

What have you done about it? She's unlikely to change their names because your dh has words.

Regardless of how you feel it really is in the box marked 'things I can do fuck all about.'

You'll get used to it.

Icklepup · 28/08/2018 20:20

So weird!

Cosmoa · 28/08/2018 20:21

I understand your predicament but I wouldn't be able to not say anything! It would just come out like word vomit haha

runbeerrunbeer · 28/08/2018 20:25

Yes this is odder than a big bag of odd things. Unless your husband is one for avoiding conflict at all costs, it's even odder that he doesn't see this!

ShackUp · 28/08/2018 20:25

She's mad OP!! Absolutely gorgeous names, btw, I used to teach at a school with a large Somali cohort and taught quite a few Ayaans and Issas.

MerryMarigold · 28/08/2018 20:26

Totally weird. Is she having a post natal breakdown? Maybe in her eyes it's to crate a bond between her kids and yours, but it's just so odd. If they all go to the same school the teachers will be .

Whereismumhiding2 · 28/08/2018 20:26

You can't do anything about it now, as that's their names as well.
But it's bizarre as they are culturally significant names to you but not her as so unusual. She's clearly copied you. So they'll be (name)2 in your family. Or theyll get called a nickname to differentiate. How frustrating..

Yanbu to be peeved but no good will come out of saying anything to her.

I wouksnt make it easy for her to copy anything else She's clearly looking up to you and your style! I'd limit what I told her (like being vague where I bought backpacks or clothes she admires, so that they're not dressed identically too! )

Littlechocola · 28/08/2018 20:27

Are you okay with being identified so easily op? Also for your dh cousin?

My step sister named her child the same as one of mine.

alphajuliet123 · 28/08/2018 20:30

Reply to the Facebook post:

"Are you serious? You're giving them the exact same names as their cousins, traditionally Ethiopian names that reflect my side of the family?"

Then leave it at that. She'll know you're not impressed, her friends will know she's a weirdo, and you won't have said anything terrible.

MozzieMagnet · 28/08/2018 20:33

Single White Female weird. Hide your bunny.

Original poster

Elsafairly · 28/08/2018 20:33

Littlechocola I don't mind, at least if she or her friends see this, they will know how I feel haha

My husband knows I post here.

OP posts:

Piggyhoolier · 28/08/2018 20:34

Wow that is odd with a capital O!

She’s crackers but I think you should be polite to her, along the lines “obviously I think those are beautiful names as I chose them for my own DC, but it could get a little confusing for everyone don’t you think?” And keep fingers crossed that she changes the names.

I think she must hold you in really high regard and this is an ill thought attempt to be like you because she admires you. As PP say if she sticks with the names everyone will know she copied you.

wiserthanme · 28/08/2018 20:34

Yes that is weird, Yes that is unacceptable and no, I would not be flattered. Is she as strange as she sounds?

MrsEricBana · 28/08/2018 20:35

That is very weird indeed and I would have to say something.

Original poster

Elsafairly · 28/08/2018 20:36

As many of you suggested it, I will not say anything, but I at least tell I had no idea she liked my children's name and why she did not tell me earlier. Her husband and my husband already have the same name, so maybe I should change my name to hers to people will believe we've the same people :')

OP posts:

Rebecca36 · 28/08/2018 20:38

I'd want to know why, frankly, but it could be as some sort of tribute/respect to you. No-one would say anything if it was Michael and Sarah.

Parpulous · 28/08/2018 20:38

Apparently you can change your child's name within the first year if the new name is in regular use within the first 12 months of them being registered or if the name was conferred at baptism: www.ukdp.co.uk/name-change-birth-certificate-england-and-wales/

If I were you I'd see her in person about it and ask her what her intentions were. I know that people "don't own a name" but realistically speaking you're going to know these children for the rest of their lives, and their names will be a constant reminder of their mother's crassness.

I think now is your chance to have your say and directly ask her to choose new names.

I don't believe you'd be unreasonable in doing so, considering the names she chose are identical to the names of your own children and bear no real meaning to her since they come from your culture, not hers.

BettyBooper · 28/08/2018 20:39

Her husband and my husband already have the same name, so maybe I should change my name to hers to people will believe we've the same people :')

Original poster

Elsafairly · 28/08/2018 20:40

She does not even get along with me to be honest, I see her too often for my liking. She'd come anytime, anyday and drink in our kitchen for hours talking and talking, and if I get mad she'd say to my dh ' Oh she's jealous of our special bond'. So it really p*sses me off ( excuse my language) to share my children's name with her.

OP posts:

UpstartCrow · 28/08/2018 20:41

Her husband has the same name as your husband, and now she's used your children's names as well?
I think she's weird, and so is your husband's reaction.

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