Dante. Is it too mean in these circumstances?

[QuickGetTheEggplants]

DS is due in 3 weeks, and we have the first name sorted but we're still deciding on the middle name. We thought we were set, but then my DH suggested Dante "because he's put us through 9 circles of Hell".

I counted, and that's literally true. From being a rainbow baby after a late loss, to various scares and misdiagnoses, to having high risk cord complications and an increased risk of stillbirth, there are actually 9 different incidents that have caused us a lot of anxiety during pregnancy.

To be fair, we have both always liked the idea of Dante as a middle name anyway, but I'm not sure if the extra meaning it carries now makes it more perfect, or too negative.

If he ever asks us how we chose it we wouldn't say, "because you put us through Hell", obviously, because this poor little foetus hasn't actually done anything wrong, we'd probably just say we liked it. Even so I'm not sure if Dante is fitting or mean?

I love it! You could tell the story on his wedding day. :)

I like it too, it’s a good story and very unique. And you can always start calling him John Dante Dante Dante as he grows up and does more naughty things

For me, it’s a very negative way to start out a baby’s life.

Very negative and silly. choose a nice name that will be something to live up too.

Shameful idea

Actually what about Daniel? Its a good strong name and similar as it will be Dan for short. You can still remember your private joke within the name but nobody else need know and he wont get teased or have negative feelings from it.

Also I hate that kind of teasing towards children. My parents relentlessly told me I was the bane of their existence etc as a 'joke' but that stuff really hurts a lot of kids.

I think it's very negative.

Too negative.

Why would you make your child go through life feeling like such a source of stress, rather than a source of happiness? He'll wonder if you even wanted him

Nope, very negative, even if you don't tell him why you named him that. The fact that you wouldn't tell him should be telling enough that it's a poor choice.

No. Negative. Not funny.

Thanks for the feedback. All the comnents about it being negative made me reflect, though. If it was just about DH's very dark joke it would be a bit too dark.

But looking at the Divine Comdey overall, it could also be a very positive name. Dante and Virgil do leave hell in the end, then in Purgatorio they climb a mountain, which could symbolise his struggle to survive and meet us, and his continued growth throughout his life (or the actual religious allegory that was intended, but whatever). And then there's Paradiso, which seems obviously positive.

Shockingly enough I actually do want him. That's kind or why he's putting us through hell. I already have one birth certificate with Not Born Alive written on it in big bold letters. I think coming dangerously close to getting a second one within a year is pretty negative. But pregnancy is just one part of the journey and Inferno is just one part of the story.

However you try to justify it, relating your baby’s name to hell in any way is only fine if you have already saved up thousands of pounds in money for therapy.

If someone told me that their name was Dante because of the connection to the Divine Comedy, I’d assume their parents were the kind of smug abusers who act like pillar of the community very very smart types while taunting their kids daily.

It’s a terrible idea, OP.

The problem is, even with your additional comment, you're giving him this narrative from birth. Don't let his life be dictated by your pregnancy with him.

It's negative, whichever way you slice it.

What about Theo or Theodore meaning divine gift? Still got that divine comedy connection maybe but only obvious for you and dh, and it’s a very positive name.

No, I don't like it. I think you are giving the name far too much negative meaning.

I understand how this pregnancy must have been very stressful and difficult for you, and even more so under the circumstances I would chose something with a joyful meaning.

I love it as a name, and there are a few other other famous Dantes -a football player, a poet. It's a name used in Italy (although not super popular) and if you weren't to advertise the fact, I doubt many people know the full saga of the Divine Comedy, even if they have heard of its author.
We couldn't use it as a name for DC as our surname already has it in, so we used it for our business name instead.

And actually it's meaning is apparently 'enduring'

I like the name but not your reason for using it.

My parents gave me a nice name but with a dark/ 'funny' meaning for them, it wasn't funny to a child I can tell you.

I like it - middle names need a "story" imo (obviously just emphasise the good bits

• to EVERYONE, not just him - not the circles of hell stuff)

I think it's fine OP. It's a nice name, it has a lot of personal meaning for you and as you say it's not all negative. Plus it will be his middle name which most people won't know anyway.

Hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth and you have your lovely little chap safe in your arms soon.

No I think it's too mean. Would you really be explaining the whole of The Divine Comedy to anyone who asked? The most known part is the seven circles of hell, especially with the 'joke' included. I like the meaning of Theo in your circumstances. I do like a middle name with meaning.

No. It's not so much that it's mean to him, it's the negative connotations it will have for you and your husband. When he's born, it's not a good idea to keep having something that reminds you of those whenever you talk to him.

Agree with bridget . My first pregnancy was awful but tbh, I have mainly forgotten it. I certainly wouldn’t want to think of it every time I saw my daughter.