Really upset - Mum and MIL are having a go at us.

[FreddyEddy]

I feel like just changing her middle name completely.

It took 7 years to become pregnant, so we probably won't try for another.

We thought it would be nice to honour both grandmothers, but only wanted her to have 1 middle name.

My mum is Julia, my MIL is Ariana.

We chose Juliana for her middle name...

We were so excited to tell everyone the name, thinking they'd be so excited. No, all we get is "you should have given her 2 middle names" "you've now used neither of our names" and obviously many more.

I'm just so upset.

Just goes to show OP that age doesn't automatically confer maturity. I think it's a delightful name and would have been chuffed myself.
My DD gave my DGD a more up to date or popular version of my favourite name and I accepted that as a loving gesture it was intended to be.
Give your lovely daughter a name you love and feel comfortable with. She will bear it long after the grandmothers are around to care. Personally, I think the story behind Juliana is a lovely one to share with her when she is older. More interesting than "we just liked it"
Good luck

Congratulations on your baby OP. If I were you, I'd choose something completely different. I say this, because I let my family dictate what DD1 was called and have always regretted it. They are being ridiculous and selfish. They obviously know of your struggles to get this far and should just be damned grateful to have their lovely granddaughter in their lives.

Tell them to put up and shut up!

This has nothing to do with names. That's just the context. This is two women sticking their nose in and commenting negatively on a choice which is yours to make. They may feel they have the right to pressure you on other matters, too ( feeding, sleeping, how you bring up your little daughter etc etc). Why do they feel that way? Time to be assertive :)

If it was me and both mothers decided to shoot me down having put that much effort into it, I would change her middle name completely and tell them that because they didn't like the first name you picked, you decided to give a her completely different one that has nothing to do with them whatsoever.
Juliana is really nice though btw. I think its just pathetic of them to be annoyed about it, you've clearly thought of them both and it's your child, you shouldn't have to give her two middle names just to please them both.

They should be honoured you've thought of them at all and Juliana is a gorgeous name. They should stop being ridiculous.

I'm pretty sure when they see your lovely baby they will forget the nonsense.

Yeah, I thought about using the female version of my dad's name. DH doesn't mind. However, can you just imagine how that would go down!

Oh do that! But is it as nice as Juliana? Juliana is gorgeous.

I blended the names of my mum and dad for my first sons middle name. Not as successful as yours, as we ended up with a made up name, that there is only of of prior to him in all history. A medieval druid! My parents loved it. My son not so much. ...

Juliana is a beautiful name. And it doesn't matter what the grans think (although I know that it matters to you).

Someone close to me was given a name that was a mix of two female relatives. I've always been slightly envious of her for having such a thoughtful and special name.

You've done something lovely for genuine reasons. They'll both see that in time.

Juliana is lovely. I used to know one and always liked the name.

If you want to use it then do, but I would tell them both firmly that you are now using it simply because YOU like it, not in honour of two such childish and immature idiots who have thrown their toys out of the pram.

Congratulations on your new baby. Enjoy her, and ignore them.

Julianna is a lovely name. But it is neither of their names. So if you wanted them to feel honoured or they had had a tribute to them then i can see why they aren't gushing with enthusiasm. However, they aren't owed a middle name tribute and should be magnanimous and just say it's lovely and move on.

I recently had a girl and told my parents we were giving her recently deceased MILs middle name and instead of saying 'oh that's nice' like i would have, my parents faces frosted over and their mouths stiffened and dad said 'WELL!! you are going to give her mum's name too aren't you???' I sighed inside and said yes.

DS2 has Dad's middle name as his second middle name (because it flows better) and when we told dad, rather than being honoured he huffed 'if it's second you might as well not have bothered' and flounced out of the room and it was never mentioned again.

The name is beautiful and so is the reason behind it, what an honour...,is what they should be saying! But some people cannot disguise disappointment.

I didn't take dh surname when we married but we combined our surnames to create our children's surname, 5 years later we are still getting shit for it

Charles, I wasn't clearly naming her after my mother. If I was, I'd have gone with Julia, which my DH would have been happy with. How else could I have merged them with Ari at the start? I couldn't! Please can you not start? I don't mean to have a go but I put a lot of effort into thinking about family and how this will be their only granddaughter. I tried my best to make them feel special about it being their grandchild.

My dad's name is Oliver, so we could use Olivia for her middle name, which I think is lovely, but obviously not as unusual.

Thank you everyone, this thread has made me feel so much better and not be so worried that I had messed up!

Stick with Juliana, it is a perfect name, classy and unusual without being "yoonique". The grannies need to grow up and stop being competitive and offended and just enjoy this much wanted little girl.

I like Olivia, its a pretty name :)

You've done something lovely and they've been snitty about it which is mean.

Ignore them. It's a lovely name. Olivia is also nice.

I think it's lovely and you the sentiment was a great idea.
I'm sorry that having specific names are more important to the grans than the fact they have a beautiful granddaughter.

Yes, go with Olivia, it's beautiful, your Father will be elated. 😄

Fuck them.

I'd go with Olivia personally! Congratulations!

I would say in a text to each, "So you don't want me to use Juliana?" Get a text reply confirming that, then use Olivia.

Juliana is a beautiful name and it's a really lovely way of honouring both grandmothers equally. If you love it, stick to it. They'll realise that they're being rotten & ungrateful soon enough and apologise.

Congratulations

I have to believe that people only behave like this because other people allow them to. Nobody ever acts this way to me, and that can't be pure luck. It's probably just because if I was in this situation I would quickly tell them both to get over it. I suggest you do the same.

Nip any drama in the bud. "We combined both of your names because we don't want to use two middle names. We're really happy with our choice, and we hope you are happy with the small gesture". Followed by "I'm sorry you feel that way. We're very happy with our choice" to any and all debate on the matter.

Which sounds better Katherine Juliana or Katherine Olivia? We are going with the K spelling as we like Kate/Katie/Kitty (all the K NNs basically!)

It's so hard, I do love all my family and am gutted they have been so nasty about it, but I do like Juliana, but my dad would really appreciate Olivia. So hard

Katherine Olivia flows better to me - but Katherine Juliana has more presence (does that make sense?)

I think both are lovely, but I slightly prefer Latherine Olivia, simply because I slightly prefer the name Olivia to Juliana.

Katherine Olivia is nicer imo. But both are lovely.

Oh, Latherine is surprisingly nice, and clean! It makes me think of somebody not to mess with, like Wolverine.

Or somebody destined to own a cleaning company.