Really upset - Mum and MIL are having a go at us.

[FreddyEddy]

I feel like just changing her middle name completely.

It took 7 years to become pregnant, so we probably won't try for another.

We thought it would be nice to honour both grandmothers, but only wanted her to have 1 middle name.

My mum is Julia, my MIL is Ariana.

We chose Juliana for her middle name...

We were so excited to tell everyone the name, thinking they'd be so excited. No, all we get is "you should have given her 2 middle names" "you've now used neither of our names" and obviously many more.

I'm just so upset.

Congratulations on your baby girl!

Have you registered the birth yet? If not I suggest you pick a completely different middle name, and tell your mum and MIL to fuck off. Your idea of blending the names was lovely and they are being ungrateful bitches. So fuck them.

I think Julianna is lovely and very thoughtful of you, but seeing as your dad is the only one with a bit of gumption, I would change her middle name to the nearest female equivalent of his name...

I would have loved to have my mum's name in one of my daughters' names but it would have caused an unholy row if we had! We just avoided altogether.

You would think they would be so happy for you after your long wait, silly women!! Congratulations, enjoy your little girl, and name her whatever YOU want, don't worry about pleasing anyone else x

They both have had their chance to name their children. Name your DD what you like. I can promise you that this will soon pass. Do not let their childish behaviour spoil this precious moment in your life. Just tell them that is the name you and your DH/DP have chosen and you do not want further discussion. Be firm.

Thanks everyone so much, definitely feeling better.

Yeah, I thought about using the female version of my dad's name. DH doesn't mind. However, can you just imagine how that would go down!

Juliana is beautiful, what you did was thoughtful and yes, normal people would have been pleased with it, you'd have to be narky and a half to find fault with what you've done, not to mention self centred. You are under no obligation to use family names at all if you don't want to.

If you love Juliana stick with it and ignore them, if you only chose it for them, then I would seriously consider something else you like better. Or do you have a middle name you could share with your daughter? We didn't use family names, but dd has my middle name as hers, I did not want to get in to family politics after months of people randomly squeezing 'family' names into conversation with me. There was going to be no pleasing anyone so I pleased myself.

They are behaving childishly and totally inconsiderately of you as a new mother, apart from anything else. Whatever you choose I would tell them and say that the conversation is now over and can they please concentrate on getting to know their granddaughter and supporting her mother.

Congratulations btw

Amazed that two grown women can be so childish. Any way you can swap it now for something entirely different, that represents neither of them?

Brace yourself OP, if they are going to be like this over a name, they are going to go batshit over Christmas 'turns' etc!

BTW I think the name you have chosen is beautiful.

Are you or DH named after any grandparents? If by any chance you aren't, you can just tell them to stop being hypocritical.

Agree...they are being childish and pathetic. Tell them both to go boil their self-important, trouble making heads. I would.

Tell them that they are quite right. You are going with Gubnet Hedwig, and thank them profusely for helping you towards your decision.

I did the same as you OP for my DD too. Mixed together the names of her grandmothers for her middle name. It's a lovely sounding word (I think) as is Juliana. My mother and my MIL were really touched. (The we had DS and doing the same with the grandfather's names was more tricky!)

i gave my first born my mum's name as her middle name
i gave my second born my MIL's name as her middle name
my big sister got the hump - apparently i should have used her name as she is next WTAF?!?!

you can't please everyone!

Juliana is a lovely name but isn't either of their names. so what. there is no rule to say you should use a grandparent's name - do you have a family tradition of doing so?

This might be about them not wanting to be together in the name if that makes sense. Perhaps there is a bit of rivalry and they want to keep their individual identities as grandmothers. However, they should let it go now. Juliana is imho a nicer name than Julia or Ariana so there is that bonus! If they carry on I would just say that you tried to do a nice thing, you are sorry if it hasn't turned out that way, but she has her name now and if they want they can just regard it as unrelated to their names. Using both would have been quite a mouthful and wouldn't have really flowed anyway.

I'd be tempted to tell them you've chosen something which really represents the grandmothers, along the lines of bitch-face.

But that probably won't go down well.

congratulations on your baby girl, she can have whatever name you choose. Your child, your choice, and that applies to whatever choices you make, not just the name.

Freddy, your Dad sounds lovely!
You really should honour him instead, that would be lovely, and I'm sure he would feel very proud.

If they're going to be this horrible about it you'd have had comments even if you'd given them the two middle names, as whoever came last would have moaned.

^ THIS ^

And Juliana is a beautiful name - t's a Royal name, too. I love it!

It's a lovely thought and a lovely name.

Tell them you have changed your mind, you are using Melania instead..
Once your gorgeous bundle arrives they will stop caring about things they are just overthinking and just be happy to be grandparents.

When we told mil our chosen name for dd, (after she had been born) she said, " You can't call her that! and went onto tell us why. We ignored her. But she loves our dd and her name.

I know a Susanna, named after both grandmothers, Susan & Anna. Both Grans were delighted.
Hope these ladies in the OP get a grip and see it for the nice gesture it is.

Sod them. You tried to do something nice for them both whilst giving your daughter a name of her own.They can both jog on giving you any grief for it.

I think it was a lovely tribute and a lovely name. If you like it and are happy with the meaning / context keep it and explain to your precious daughter when you are older.
If there are other name you like change it to that.

Even if you are keeping Julianna, tell both of them you've changed it to something random and have already registered her as that as they didn't want it for your daughter.

They are pathetic, you are lovely.

My mil used to send me awful texts when we were running names past them. I stopped involving her ...
you choose whatever you want.
And your suggestion is lovely

op thats so sad and yet such a perfect solution to the issue. They sound very petty and un grateful. they should be glad you have been able to bless them with a grandchild at all, plenty of mothers are out there who will never get that joy.

Your MIL and DM need to grow up and get over themselves. Are they 6?

Juliana is lovely and a great compromise. Congrats on the baby too .

If they are whining then you probably won't get a grateful response if you do now use their names! If there's a middle name you'd like more, use that.

If your DMs want their names used that badly, you can buy them each a hamster - one called Julia, one called Ariana. Sorted!

You clearly named the child after your mother - which is your prerogative. However I think it is silly to expect your MIL to be bowled over by the name. Accepting, yes. Pleased, no. It's so far from her name, you might as well not have bothered with the 'harmonising' attempt. No-one will ever think, 'Juliana! Oh I see what you've done there.' They'll just think it's a variation on your mother's name.

That's a pretty name, congratulations and try to tune the grannies' whinging out.