DH wants a middle name for our DS, but I don't... Who gets the final say?

[DishwasherWater]

This is beginning to be very frustrating. We are just going around in circles.

FIL has been saying to DH that he can't wait for our son to share his name. I always say that we haven't decided on anything yet (although we have chosen his first name).

We got married and I wanted to keep my surname, so we double barrelled. It's very long and are surname versions of names.

Think: Matthews-Jacobson

So there's already 2 names there.

We have decided on Alexander, so that's a long name in itself.

Alexander Matthews-Jacobson is plenty, IMHO and I really don't want him to have a middle name. Yes, I know that he could have a really long name, but I don't want that. I have a middle name and so does DH but we only had a single name lastname. Also, if his future partner (if he has one) wants to keep their surname, then he has room to put something in the middle (e.g. Moving one of the last names to the middle, so he'll have the middle name Matthew, for example).

I'm unsure who gets the final say to be honest? As we both feel strongly about it.

Neither my sister or I have middle names and I don't feel short changed. I understand the double barrelled surname, I kept my surname when we married (it was important to me) although we didn't double barrel as they just didn't sound right together so the children have my husband's surname!

If I were you I would park the conversation for now. I think if you decide to go ahead with a middle name it really ought to be one you both like.

Good luck