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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Slightly irritated

49 replies

Steph1502 · 23/05/2015 21:45

I know people come on here to ask opinions and expect genuine opinions from members. However, I think some folk are just plain rude. If you genuinely like a name then go for it. Everyone's opinion is different and once you've named your baby that, people are less likely to be pass remarkable about it. Some folk forget that these are real names and members on here may have already named their child some of these names and it may be quite hurtful to hear your child's name be described as 'drippy', 'boring' or even 'horrendous'. Maybe the hormones are getting to me but if you don't like a name... Simply saying 'it's not something I'd choose' or giving an alternative suggestion would be suffice

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parsnipbob · 23/05/2015 21:48

Agree. Don't understand why people ask a bunch of random strangers what they think of a name. Bizarre.

Original poster

Steph1502 · 23/05/2015 21:53

I like reading all the different names and opinions but I think it's rude to completely slate someone else's choice

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LilQueenie · 23/05/2015 21:57

I got slated for my name when I asked an opinon. I went ahead anyway and Im, glad I did. Adults need to learn more than kids do now.

Thisismyfirsttime · 23/05/2015 22:01

If you're going to be offended by someone slating your intended name why post? I knew what I wanted to call dd so I didn't ask on here. If I was in 2 minds about it I may have asked and now if someone else asks about her name and other posters don't like it who cares? It's my dd's name!

DampAndRotten · 23/05/2015 22:01

I totally agree that some posters can be unnecessarily nasty. But Parsnipbob - if you "can't understand why people ask a bunch of random strangers what they think of a name" wtf are you doing on the forum?

Marisola · 23/05/2015 22:08

Doesn't bother me. People have different preferences and tastes, in names as well as in all sorts of other things, like fashion, decor, fiction, music. If I like, say, Coldplay, I don't expect everyone else to like them as well, and it would be silly for someone to pretend they did just because I do. So no different with names, in my book.

Original poster

Steph1502 · 23/05/2015 22:09

I do understand ppl want genuine opinions sometimes. Naming baby is a tough job... They live with it forever. I cannot stand some of the names I've seen here and wouldn't name my child that but each to their own and I'd never be as rude as to just say eeeeeewwww no way! But I suppose you're right why ask? And so right... We stopped telling folk our name choices as too many other ppl put you off. Name was announced at birth with my 3 DDs and same with this one. I'm on here getting ideas :)

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parsnipbob · 23/05/2015 22:10

I enjoy watching the discussions, that's why. Doesn't mean I understand why people post in the first place! No need to bite my head off.

Penguinotterfoxbadger · 23/05/2015 22:23

Fair enough

notaplasticgnome · 23/05/2015 22:40

No need to be rude obviously. But always annoys me when people come onto a baby names forum and get annoyed and precious because 'these are actual names and this is an actual baby whose name you are criticising.

Elllimam · 23/05/2015 22:49

I think it is actually beneficial for people to be honest on the baby names forum though. If I want to call my baby something like Morton I genuinely want to know if people think it sounds nice and a bit trendy or like he should keep pigeons and lusts after 12 gauge trains. I think most people are looking for honesty on their name choices otherwise what's the point?

stqueen · 23/05/2015 22:52

There's a difference between being honest & being downright rude. I genuinely wanted to hear others opinions on my choice of name, so I posted, lots of rude posts later on how the name was a no-no (the odd person thought it was ok) and…I'm going with the name anyway! But it has made me think twice about posting anything again (as a thread starter).

Original poster

Steph1502 · 23/05/2015 23:02

Lol... 'Precious'

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Quasilulu · 24/05/2015 01:05

My experience on here has been very helpful but my friend had her eldest child's name ripped to bits. She was asking what went with the offending name and the replies were terrible. She wasn't asking about her 3 year old and when she tried to stick up for herself she got sneered at.

looki · 24/05/2015 02:10

I think if you post any name on here, you have to be prepared to hear comments you may not like. But if people were entirely happy and 100% confident with their chosen name, they probably wouldn't actually post here at all.

I think posters have to remember that if somebody says they really dislike a certain name, there is a high chance you may really dislike the names they have given their children too. (In an ideal world all posters should have to sign off their posts with their own children's names so the original poster asking a question has a good idea of other poster's tastes). :)

Strokethefurrywall · 24/05/2015 02:28

You have to have a really thick skin to garner any opinions. Ds1 has an "American trailer" surname, ds2 has an Irish surname.
I love them both, have seen them slated on various forums but I just don't care. It's about having courage of your convictions I think. I think any names with Mae, May, rose, grace as middle names are overused so i don't say anything. Likewise with jaiden/Kaiden/Brayden of which there are many here.

mathanxiety · 24/05/2015 03:14

Thing is, a name like Honey Boo Boo is a name some posters might feel stronger about than a mere 'it's not my cup of tea but whatever floats yer boat...' and one woman's 'rude' is someone else's 'forthright.

You are getting a pretty unfiltered slice of life here, and maybe even an indication of what people you encounter in RL may think but wouldn't say about a name you choose.

Yes most people in RL get accustomed to most names eventually, but you have a really good opportunity here to gauge that important first impression and it's not always a simple thumbs up or thumbs down. Sometimes the thumbs down is very vehement, and that may be useful if you are really asking as opposed to looking for approval.

Allthatnonsense · 24/05/2015 03:52

Some people are rude. That's the gamble of asking complete strangers with invisibility cloaks a question online.

I've posted and have had mostly positive feedback. I have read unfavourable comments about the names of my existing children via other's posts. It doesn't upset me one bit because I probably don't have one single thing in common with these people.

If you're not prepared to get a few unpleasant comments, don't ask. Personally, I wouldn't grant a total stranger that much power.

MargoReadbetter · 24/05/2015 05:30

I'm usually polite about names or ignore the thread if I think the name is ridiculous. If it's really silly, say Wolftail, I might say so. I find it's better to stay out of it, though, as the OP can be vehemently insistent and irritating. Just not worth engaging.

littleostrich · 24/05/2015 07:16

Some replies can come across as rude, but it's the same with other areas of the forum - plenty of people can appear harsh in the AIBU threads too, but it's unavoidable when you're asking anonymous strangers for opinions. Personally I'd always be polite and tactful as I don't like upsetting people, but not everybody feels that way.

I think when you're confident in the baby name you've chosen it doesn't matter what others think. If I posted about my DS's name, people would say it's too popular / there will be five other kids with the same name in his class, but I don't care because I love it and it suits him perfectly. If you're on the fence about a name and it gets a big negative response I can imagine that would be useful to hear, even if some people are quite harsh.

parsnipbob · 24/05/2015 07:19

I think the OP's point was not necessarily about those who post asking for opinions but who read these forums out of interest and then see their child's name slated.

MamaLazarou · 24/05/2015 09:03

If you are such a delicate flower that you are upset by a random internet stranger saying they don't like your child's name, then maybe this forum is not for you.

I couldn't care less what people think of my son's name: I love it and so does he!

mathanxiety · 24/05/2015 09:26

Well the only solution for that one is to pull the plug on Baby Names, ParsnipBob.

That seems a bit extreme to me -- for the sake of people who could press 'Hide the Thread'. Or just never browse through Baby Names.

parsnipbob · 24/05/2015 10:15

I think it's fine to say 'I don't like that name', I don't think it's fine to say 'that name is disgusting, don't do that to your child, they will be bullied etc etc'.

Original poster

Steph1502 · 24/05/2015 10:23

My point is, there's a difference between giving an opinion and just being plain rude. Some of the comments were awful to be honest. Yes people come here to ask about names. I actually do have advice to ask about my name that I've chosen plus I love to hear all the suggestions. No matter what forum you're on there will always be a difference of opinion. But some people have no tact. Manners cost nothing IMHO

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