AIBU about Caoimhe

[Littleturkish]

DH and I have taken a long long time to choose this name, Irish heritage on both sides, Irish surname (and maiden name!) I love this name.

When DH agreed, he didn't realise how it was spelt. Now he knows. He thinks we should pick a different one. I have first hand experience of having a difficult Irish name to spell and think it will be fine.

AIBU? I don't want to start finding a new name all over again- is Caoimhe that awful to spell??

Maybe a fada thread in pedant's corner would be appropriate squoosh?

I do struggle with them!

Poor old fadas, always last to be invited to the party!

Without wanting to be rude.......................... I've always found Gráinnes to be a shifty lot.

Ha ha- my next door neighbour is one, and she is a convent school principal!

I'll have my eye on her now though squoosh!

It's not the Brits can't cope with non-British names - it's the fact that an unusual name requires the owner to spell it constantly. If your child already has a name and you move to another country then that's completely different from living in a country, having some heritage in another, and giving your child a name that very few are familiar with and/or isn't easy to pronounce - which will require them (not you) to spend the next 80 or so years correcting and explaining its spelling and pronunciation.

If I had a pound for every time I've spelt my weird surname over the years I would be a very rich woman.

I've never heard Caoimhe pronounced "Keeva" I know of a few Keeva's but I never knew they were actually calling their child Caoimhe but spelt incorrectly!

I'm laughing at the poster who told op to just call their child Grace or Emma or another of those "lovely names"

Nancy, yes we pronounce it Seer-sha, although I know there's a variation of sair-sha. Unfortunately Saoirse Ronan pronounces it Sir-sha (and I've read an interview with her where she says her parents decided on that pronunciation to make it easier for American ears), so we get a bit of sir-sha but its easy enough to just day oh no we pronounce it seer-sha. Most people adapt

It's not British specific. There is no country on earth where they all know how to say/spell the names from every other country/language/culture. If you give your child a name that is not easily pronounced/spelt they will have to spell it/correct pronunciation/explain it all the time. That is true if you are Chinese living in Germany or Russian living in America or Dutch living in Korea. It's the same the world over, nothing to do with being British.

The considerate thing to do as a parent is to think of the child you're naming. Giving a child a name that is easily pronounced/spelt in the country/language/culture you are raising them is the kind thing to do imo.

I dunno, I reckon most countries make a good fist of pronouncing names from their closest neighbour and from which there has been significant migration over the centuries. It's not quite the same as a Dutch name in Korea, I don't think.

Go for it, OP. I'm Irish, as is DH, both with Irish first and surnames that don't make phonetic sense to the majority of the UK population, and our son has an Irish first name and both our surnames. The space-time continuum hasn't ripped apart, and none of us are about to alter our names because other people can't pronounce them. Apart from anything else, we've lived in several different countries in the last 20 years, and may live in several more yet, and am not going to name a child based on what one set of people find unpronounceable.

Caoimhe is lovely.

It looks a lovely name but i wouldn't have a clue how to pronounce it.
So, if you are likely to get the hump with people asking all the time then YABU.
If you are happy to go through it all the time then YANBU

I would guess at (Kayoimhe) like naomi, is this right?

...or if you're going to get the hump with people spelling it Keeva...

Saoirse can also be pronounced to sound like inertia if you see what I mean, as per Saoirse Ronan.

Caoimhe was on my list for dd2 and I still love the name. I also liked Aiofe but I ended up going with Eilidh.

I am Scottish with Irish grandparents and I love Gaelic and Irish names.

Even in Scotland I'm asked to spell Eilidh because of the variations - Aillie, Ailidh etc

It doesn't help that her surname has several different variations but I'm sure she will forgive me

Fwiw dd1 has a mumsnet hated American 'K' name which also gets misspelled frequently

'I also liked Aiofe but I ended up going with Eilidh.'

Lucky you didn't go with Aiofe as that's not even a name

Eilidh is lovely and Kaitlin too is a nice name with lots of good nickname possibilities. (I'm guessing at the Kaitlin).

sorry I'm half cut and on my phone how embarrassing!

Close enough guess

I can't understand why anglicising the spelling is so bad in some people's minds. We anglicise all sorts of names for English speakers We have Joshua instead of Yeshua, the Italians have Giovanni instead of John. This is not a travesty.
Of course. This is why there has never been a Giovanii, Jan, or Ivan born in England. Not to mention Ian and Owen. Or poor Seán, who always gets the fada left off.

I don't think anyone is claiming anglicised versions of names to be travesties. People should do what they want and if they want to use an anglicised version then great. But if they are using an anglicised version to make it easier for people to say or spell then that's a shame. The fact that someone can't spell or say a name will concern that person for about 30 seconds. They'll either remember or not. Not a big deal. People forget other people's English names all the time.

The ' political' element is seperate imo. The UK is home to millions of second generation immigrants and names of different origins are common place. I like that about the UK. Long may it last. People can be both English AND proud of their heritage.

Aoife24 I didn't know that Saoirse could 'officially' be pronounced to rhyme with inertia, I'll prepare my daughter for that one too. She has a very rocky road ahead

"What about children with Polish/Somali/Chinese names - should they anglicise them too to avoid having to spell it out?"

Many people who live in English-speaking countries do change or tweak their names to make them easier. And parents of different country origin usually try to give their child a name that will not cause too many headaches.

I think [scrolls up to look at the spelling again] Caoimhe would be very hard to spell and pronounce. It's not the end of the world having a name like that, but it might be worth thinking about. At the very least, I would pick an Anglo middle name like Elizabeth or Lucy or something, which she could go by instead if she decides that endlessly correcting/explaining to people is driving her mad.

I probably correct my name on a weekly basis? Sometimes more frequently depending on what I'm doing at work/socially. It really doesn't bother me- though my DH is using my apparent annoyance about it (honestly cannot ever remember complaining about it??) as a reason why. I think this is his projection about his own annoyance about having to correct the spelling of our Irish surname (that actually isn't that hard to spell at all- most people I know have to spell out their surname, he's being overly dramatic about this, I feel).

I think I feel more strongly about this as the boys name HE has chosen, no discussion from me, I wasn't given any input in the decision making process. I, fortunately, don't mind the name- but I have recently pointed out to him, it isn't a name I would have ever chosen if it wasn't for the fact he wanted it. He accepted this and even apologised- which makes this sudden reversal on Caoimhe all the more annoying.

So to update he has looked at it written down and decided that it isn't 'off the table' but if we find another name we BOTH like better we'll use that.

I don't think I will. But we'll see. Maybe if I keep banging on about Clover again, we'll have a reversal.

Thanks everyone for your opinions- really helpful.

Oh, and DH says "I can't spell most English names either" and this is true. Spelling and words aren't his strong point

I just had a quick look for names similar to Clover - any of these any good OP? nameberry.com/babyname/Clover/similar

Caiomhe is a beautiful name. I think Irish names are becoming more popular and better known. Dd2 has an Irish name that was very unusual, less so now. My mother was Irish, but the reason for the choice was It was a university friend's and I just loved the name .

It is a pain that it's often misspelt and mispronounced but that's balanced by the number of people who say it's a beautiful name. Dd2 loves it.

My OH is Irish and our PFB due in April is going to have the same name (he will be the third!), Séamus - though I expect the fada will soon be dropped, as happened with OH. Think everyone knows the name Séamus though, don't envisage any probs here in the North West.

I have Irish heritage but would have absolutely no idea how to spell or pronounce Caiomhe. (I would have guessed at Keem or maybe Keev..)

If your DD ends up in a job which involves working with the public, it will be a real nuisance to have to constantly spell her name.

I have an unusual, foreign surname and on an average have to spell it out to people approximately 10 times a day. It's an absolute PITA. If I had £1 for every time someone says "Oooh, that's unusual, where's it from?" I would be very rich! Are you happy for your DD to have to do that?

Fine if you plan to live in Ireland. If not deeply unfair on the child.