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Baby names

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Original poster

AIBU about Caoimhe

175 replies

Littleturkish · 10/01/2015 05:29

DH and I have taken a long long time to choose this name, Irish heritage on both sides, Irish surname (and maiden name!) I love this name.

When DH agreed, he didn't realise how it was spelt. Now he knows. He thinks we should pick a different one. I have first hand experience of having a difficult Irish name to spell and think it will be fine.

AIBU? I don't want to start finding a new name all over again- is Caoimhe that awful to spell??

OP posts:

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JanineStHubbins · 10/01/2015 14:04

I have to spell my name every time I meet someone new. I think of it as my little contribution to broadening their mind

SirChenjin · 10/01/2015 14:07

Your what??

Did you mean that to sound as patronising as it did, or was you tongue firmly in your cheek?

JanineStHubbins · 10/01/2015 14:15

I don't think it's patronising to note that encountering other cultures broadens the mind...

SirChenjin · 10/01/2015 14:41

No, it's not - but encountering a name that one hasn't encountered before (whether its from another culture or not) is not an indication that one needs their mind broadened, is it.

AgIomparClinne · 10/01/2015 14:45

Oops posting from my phone and it all went a bit wrong when I tried to change my over share!

Notbeing we get a lot of people pronouncing the ch as in church.
We say Lock'lan but in Ireland lots of people lots of people say it like the surname Loughlin. We get tons of mis-spelling too which doesn't bother me.
My mum says it the same was as us. It's not really a classic Irish name but it's the word for Vikings.
Mum would be fussy about Caoimhe and pronounces it Quee- veh but the Q is sort of swallowed in the back of the throat. It's hard to describe and not really the mainstream way of saying it.

squoosh · 10/01/2015 15:01

I'm Irish and there's no way I'd saddle a child of mine growing up outside of Ireland with a name that would fox most people in terms of spelling and pronunciation. Just seems like such an unnecessary hassle.

You say the child will have an Irish surname, isn't this enough of a nod to their Irish heritage? I need to spell my Irish surname to people on a daily basis so I praise the heavens that my first name is one that's universally known.

There's no right or wrong but do give it a lot of thought. I'd say 0.0001% of the UK population will have encountered the name Caoimhe.

lljkk · 10/01/2015 15:19

"blithe comments to 'just change the spelling' are insensitive to say the least."

Only if I assume that all people of Irish heritage feel passionately about defending their culture against historical English imperialism.... which I imagine they don't. At least, evidently, OP's DH doesn't. His is the only other opinion that actually matters. Maybe he does feel the same & OP just needs to articulate all this to him (not to us).

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 10/01/2015 15:24

My SIL has a traditional Irish name but adopted a simplified spelling because people always got it wrong... and she lives in Ireland!

squoosh · 10/01/2015 15:26

'I also used to work with a Sadhbh. She used to sign off her emails with (Sive) before her formal signature so clients would know how to pronounce it.'

My brother does this too. Beside his his signature he includes, in brackets, the phonetic spelling of his first name. Otherwise people just do not have a clue as to how to pronounce it.

turdfairynomore · 10/01/2015 17:09

I adore Caoimhe It could well have been DC2 name had he been a she! My problem wasn't the pronunciation-people would have got used to that, it was the fact that my husband struggled with the spelling!! Lots!! And we live in NI!

QuickNameChange6666 · 10/01/2015 17:37

At the end of the day OP, you just have to go with what feels right. You'll always get people who don't like it, find it weird, and others who love it. With our dd Saoirse MIL actually asked me (in a hopeful way..) if we were keeping the name weeks after she was born! Just be ready for a bit of that and having to explain it to non Irish people and you'll be grand. I'm sure your Caoimhe will grow up loving having such a beautiful name.

CuntCourtIsInSession · 10/01/2015 17:38

Yes, all of us foreigners should just call our children Mary and John and be done with it, because the British can't cope with words.

Only1scoop · 10/01/2015 17:45

It's a beautiful name ....but having seen my colleague 'grey knee' Actual name Grainee mis pronounced constantly it does make me ponder it.

Having a daughter called Antigone I certainly wouldn't always air on the side of caution but she has been 'Tiggy' from birth....

Easy peasy

CuntCourtIsInSession · 10/01/2015 17:47

Antigone is a lovely name! AND I am not an ancient Greek and yet can find out how to pronounce it in a matter of seconds. So it must be possible to deal with unfamiliar names, right?

Your colleague is probably called Grainne, btw.

Only1scoop · 10/01/2015 17:48

She is indeed!!

Thanks for that ....I'm even guilty of it myself now

nancy75 · 10/01/2015 17:50

Quickname change - how do you say Saoirse?
I deal with a lady at work that has a DD with the name, so far all correspondence has been through email - I have been dreading having to phone her as I would just have to say "your daughter" rather than the little girls actual name

squoosh · 10/01/2015 17:51

It's the amount of new people you meet on a daily basis that's the problem. The person at a work meeting, the person at the bank call centre, the courier delivering a parcel, the doctor's receptionist etc. etc. It's the constant spelling and conversations about your name 'oh that's unusual, where's that from', day in, day out that's tiring.

CuntCourtIsInSession · 10/01/2015 17:51

Hope I didn't sound snotty about it scoop! She has a great name - look up Grainne Mhaol (Grace O'Malley the pirate queen).

Nancy, closest approximation to it in English would be SEER-sheh.

squoosh · 10/01/2015 17:52

Saoirse can be pronounced seer-sha or sare-sha.

nancy75 · 10/01/2015 17:53

Thank you! I would certainly have buggered that up on the phone!

Only1scoop · 10/01/2015 17:56

CuntCourt not at all

There are some gorgeous Irish names ....just beautiful....

I'm biased though.... I want to move there....beautiful country.

Northernexile · 10/01/2015 17:56

It's definitely spelt Grainne!

OP there's nothing wrong with Caoimhe, it's a lovely name. I'm English living in NI and after hearing a name once I can confirm it is easy to remember the pronunciations. I have had to learn lots of new names in the last ten years!

I find it really annoying that others are suggesting that because some people can't be arsed to try and say a name that is new to them that you should just go with a 'safe' English name. Are we going to insist immigrants from other countries only name their kids from a pre-approved list of names? I find it an arrogant point of view.

squoosh · 10/01/2015 17:59

Without wanting to be pedantic I'm just going to pop a fada on Gráinne.

CuntCourtIsInSession · 10/01/2015 18:02

I was trying to resist the temptation to squoosh.

Only1scoop · 10/01/2015 18:03

Yes, yes ....I know it has the little grammary bit but my phone is not playing ball.

Sorry for my earlier spelling faux pas....one of many.

Wait until I tell my colleague I've disgraced myself defending her beautiful name

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