regret name one year on

[bewellnell]

I'm going to totally out myself here as it's an unusual name but oh well!

We called our daughter Nola Matilda. When she was born it was a choice between Orla or Nola and OH preferred Nola, he went home from hospital and told his mum who then announced on facebook that her name was Nola..I just went with it, at the time I really liked it.

Another name which I LOVED was Tabitha but a few people put me off by the old "it's a cats name how awful" comments.

I have recently found out my mum and aunt dislike the name Nola and wished I called her Tabitha. I am now wishing I had called her Orla Tabitha. Or at least Orla as a first name. I think about this every day....what to do?! OH says he likes all the names and doesn't care.

It would be really weird to change it now when she is nearly a year old, right?!

I know someone who uses her first name professionally and her middle name with family. It works fine. She just makes sure that all certificates, passports etc have BOTH names on. Always. I have never asked her, but I presume she must think of herself as both names - as if she were 'Mary Ann', for example. She certainly answers quite happily to 'Mary' and to 'Ann' and to 'Mary Ann'.

When your DD is old enough to understand, you can say that you gave her an extra name because you loved it so much - but as earlier poster (who has my sympathy) says, please don't tell her that you wish you had called by her middle name.

If your DP doesn't mind, I don't see why you can't call her 'Nola Tabitha', if you want to. That's not a big change for DD to accept/understand. If your DP does mind, then that is rather different, however...

your problems is not your daughters name. Your problem is that you spend far to much time worrying about what other people think. Your daughter's name is your and your husbands business and NO ONE elses.

Do what YOU both think is right

Can I ask, was it your husband who actively vetoed Tabitha? As then introducing it as a name 11 months on seems pretty unfair - wasn't like you actively disliked Nola.

Is your mum and aunt's reaction anything to do with seeig Nola as from the 'other' side of the family as your mil took it upon herself to announce it? (That would have driven me mad too!).

I think Nola and Amelie sound lovely together... And you could use Tilly as another option, not too far off Tabby. And love the Alt J reference.

As others have said though... This is ultimately yours and your husband's decision. What a load of random mumsnetters or well-meaning family members think isn't what's important here.

Nola is a fantastic name. It's unusual and classy. I love it. Tabitha and Matilda are cute but much more trendy.

Nola is beautiful

Nola's a great name, both strong and attractive. I had a wonderful primary teacher who's first name was Nola, so I always associate it with her.

Nola Matilda is a gorgeous name!

I haven't read all the replies, so have no idea how far you've got with this, but I was told (when I looked into it when my DS2 was about 6 months old) that you can change the name up until the child's first birthday. After then, it can't be done until they reach 18 and they do it themselves. That's what I was told, don't know if it's (still) the case?

My advice would be to DO IT if you can. I always regret being pursuaded off a name for my DS2 and we went for something else instead. I really love the name that we didn't go for, but so many people said something negative about it, that I just didn't have the balls to go for what I really wanted. I think I'll always regret it.

We didn't change his name because he'd already started to respond to his name and we thought it would be too confusing for him and for DS1.

Now I want to change my DD's name to Nola....

I advised a pregnant friend the other day NOT to discuss name choices and thoughts with other people as everyone has an opinion, and they NEVER help. She then went on to put her choices all over facebook and it was cringeworthy reading everyone's opinionated replies. It's got nothing to do with them! I can't believe people openly diss someone's choice of name. How rude!

If everyone replied on this thread saying "Nola is horrible, change it to Orla" I believe you'd do it. Lost of people are saying "don't change" so now you're reluctant not to.

It doesn't matter what your Aunt/Mother/MIL/Next door neighbour/hairdresser/postman thinks of the name. You have to give your child a name that you love and what you think they'll love when they're older. Other people's opinions count for nothing. A 100+ replies from people you'll never meet in your life shouldn't cloud what you know in your heart to be the right choice/decision.

As I said before, I wished I'd gone with my original choice for DS2 and not let other people sway me, and I did consider changing his name. We didn't change it in the end as it's not the end of the world and his name suits him.

I'm currently pregnant with DC3 and we're not planning on telling friends/family the names we've chosen, but if we do, we will 100% NOT be swayed as WE love them. End of. Couldn't give a flying fiddle if friends/family don't like the name.

You need to make a choice - not based on your family or the replies on here - but based on what YOU and your OH want to do.

You're right OP you are flaky

Glad you decided to stock with Nola - just explain you've changed your mind back, explain why and ask if they'll change back. I'm sure they'll be fine

I know I couldn't rename them at that age, but saying that wanted to comment because one of my close friends was renamed over a year after birth as her father had named her and then left her mother - her mother disliked the name and the association so called her what she'd wanted from the start. The names weren't similar at all. My friend never had a problem with it and her mother never mentioned it being a problem, however I'd be worried that after a year Nola is used to her name. I think it's a lovely name to, not often heard, but if you really want to could you do the switch to her middle name or something and gradually start calling her the new first name as well? I suppose it would be similar to when new nicknames develop.

Just to say though I think Nola Matilda is lovely and has a nice ring to it. Could you perhaps have an orlaith or tabitha next or is that not an option? Tabitha is also beautiful btw, and though I do love orlaith it seems to be very popular atm, not that that's a problem, but if you prefer unusual names worth keeping in mind.

I know I couldn't rename them at that age, but saying that wanted to comment because one of my close friends was renamed over a year after birth as her father had named her and then left her mother - her mother disliked the name and the association so called her what she'd wanted from the start. The names weren't similar at all. My friend never had a problem with it and her mother never mentioned it being a problem, however I'd be worried that after a year Nola is used to her name. I think it's a lovely name to, not often heard, but if you really want to could you do the switch to her middle name or something and gradually start calling her the new first name as well? I suppose it would be similar to when new nicknames develop.

Just to say though I think Nola Matilda is lovely and has a nice ring to it. Could you perhaps have an orlaith or tabitha next or is that not an option? Tabitha is also beautiful btw, and though I do love orlaith it seems to be very popular atm, not that that's a problem, but if you prefer unusual names worth keeping in mind.

Sorry, stupid iPad.

I posted about name angst last week! Except our dd arrives in June. We are going with two three syllable middle names and a two syllable first name as all three names mean a lot to us. If you want to have tabitha as a middle name then go for it. It's not up to other people it's up to you.

I think both are lovely and I still don't get the reference to cats or animals in general when it comes to names. Pretty much most names have been used for animals as well as humans at some point. My beloved last dog was a Jasmine and my friends dog an Ella. Both pretty common girls names and nothing to worry about.

Nola is much the nicest of the names you mention IMO.
I love Robyn too.

Will you feel any different when DD is older OP?

Nola isn't a cutesy pretty name like tabitha/tabby. But it's a lovely name for a grown adult woman. Unusual but not pretentious.

I love all the names you mention!

When we had dd1, I had a clear favourite name, and dh had a clear favourite. He was working away while I was in late pregnancy and in a moment of being sentimental over how much I missed him, I told him we'd use "his" name. When dd was born, I regretted it for ages and felt v strongly about it, almost as though she wasn't my baby.

I love her name now. We have dd2 ("my" name) but even before that, I ended up loving dd1's name, have had lots of compliments on it and can't imagine her called anything else.

Nola is beautiful :)

I think you need to fret less about what your family,aunty and milkman think of name

I've never heard Nola before but I love it. So pretty. The more I've read it on this thread, the more I love it. Just hope dc3 is a girl, it's on the list now!

Nola is beautiful I love it.
It is also been added to my list if I have anymore!
I know 3 Tabitha's it's popular at the moment and I think she will appreciate Nola as a teenager more .

Hi there,

I've joined mums net just so I can talk to you or offer you some advice! I found myself in exactly the same predicament as you recently although my baby is 4 months old so perhaps it has been slightly easier for me. She had an extremely unusual name too. The whole way through my pregnancy I had a name picked out that was chosen by my late father so very special to me and DH is pretty easy going so that was the name, my 4 year old DD1 loved the name too and had bonded with it. For some crazy reason we had a wobble a couple of weeks before she was born and decided to go with DH's favourite name which I did love but like I said it's very unusual. Anyway, not wanting to hog your thread and go on and on, a couple of weeks ago we changed it back over. We have kept her original name in the middle and just added the new name at the front. It's been very emotional and although most people have been really supportive, some have acted really weirdly and clearly think we're very odd, which is fine, the people that matter don't care. A close family member referred to her as 'the elephant in the room' the other day which really bloody hurt my feelings but there we go!

We wanted to give her this new name of ruer and NOONE else, she suited it to a T, and really didn't suit her old name which was very difficult to wear and as far as I'm concerned a lot of people who will feature in her life have never even met her yet, she will have her new name all through her life. I've bought a lovely baby record book which features a whole page on names on which I've explained all about it, the old name isn't a 'dirty word' it's still very much part of her identity and her story and as she was named this for 4 months we are still fond of it, I'm going to write a letter to her and pop it in the baby book to. I'm glad we did it but it has been emotional and we're still in the stages of getting the new name to 'stick' I'm constantly worrying that it won't and I feel bad every time someone says her new name like I'm making things awkward but anyway, just wanted to say, if you do decide to do it, there's someone here who knows exactly how you feel. I don't know if you're able to private message on here but I'm happy to give you my email/facebook so we can support each other!

Take care x x x

*for her not of ruer

Nola is very unique and beautiful..Ive never heard it before

I personally would leave it and add either Tabitha or Orla as a middle name

Some people grow up and choose to go by their middle name instead if they prefer it..I know loads of people who do it, even my OH

Even I do it sometimes, as you can see my username is nikki...which is from my middle name (Nicole)

Definitely leave her name how it is, Im sure Nola will grow on you. And like I said...add one of the names you like as a middle name