Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Who gets the final say?

39 replies

SharonBotts · 02/04/2014 10:35

Dh and I are expecting a baby in the next few days. We have finally agreed on a girl's name but cannot settle on a boy's name. We both like the final two names that we are down to - Michael and Samuel - but we each prefer a different one. What do you do in this situation? How do you make the final call? Should we go on the popularity of the name (i.e. choose the less common one) or solicit opinions from family and friends? Really stuck. Anyone got any tips or advice on how we make the final choice?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
isisisis · 02/04/2014 10:40

If it's a girl it's a non issue so I'd wait until they arrive. Do not ask friends/ family for opinion. It won't end well. Good luck with the baby.

Lweji · 02/04/2014 10:41

Toss for it.

Original poster
SharonBotts · 02/04/2014 10:44

Don't want to resort to tossing a coin if there is a sensible way to make a decision.

OP posts:
WhatsTheWordHummingbird · 02/04/2014 10:44

Wait til you hold him and see what comes naturally?

curiousgeorgie · 02/04/2014 10:49

We disagreed on DD2's name so we compromised and I got to choose the first name and he choose his favourite as a middle name.

Original poster
SharonBotts · 02/04/2014 10:50

Do babies really 'look like' names though? With dc1 we didn't make a final decision before the baby arrived, thinking we would just 'know' when we saw them what they should be called. We didn't. And I hated the stress of trying to find the right name on top of everything else that comes with caring for a newborn. Just want to be prepared this time.

OP posts:
Original poster
SharonBotts · 02/04/2014 10:51

Does anyone have a favourite from our final two names?

OP posts:
shakinstevenslovechild · 02/04/2014 10:52

When I was pregnant we said if it was a girl I would choose, if it was a boy he would (not always that way round though) with each pregnancy I had an inkling before the gender was confirmed by scan though so I always swung it my way Grin

squoosh · 02/04/2014 10:53

Tossing a coin would seem like the only option unless one of you gives in.

I prefer Samuel to Michael. Never met a Sam I didn't like.

notso · 02/04/2014 10:58

We ended up having a choice of two for our three boys. DH got his preference all three times as I was too knackered from giving birth to think!
I picked the middle names the day after when I'd had a chance to recover.
I love all my boys names though. I don't think babies really look like a name but they certainly grow to be their name.

I prefer Samuel to Michael.

yomellamoHelly · 02/04/2014 11:05

I got my way with the boys; dh with our daughter. Still don't love her name tbh, but doesn't really matter in the overall scheme of things.

Lweji · 02/04/2014 11:10

In choosing, consider what other names the boy would be called.
Sam
Sammy

Mike
Mick
Micky
Mickey

Which would you prefer to live with?

Original poster
SharonBotts · 02/04/2014 11:19

Nicknames are another sticking point. My preference in both cases would be for the full names to be used. Are nicknames inevitable? I know of an Elizabeth who is only ever called Elizabeth. Ditto a little Joseph.

OP posts:
scarletforya · 02/04/2014 11:21

Samuel.

Lweji · 02/04/2014 11:22

Time can only tell.

My sister also initially insisted her youngest would be called by his full name and now even she calls him by a shorter name...

And once they get to school things are likely to change, so I'd consider the possibilities.

Personally, I'd be happy with either, although I know too many Michaels, particularly at my previous job.

squoosh · 02/04/2014 11:24

OP there's no way a Samuel will be referred to as Samuel as all times. If you don't like the nicknames don't choose the name.

KEGirlOnFire · 02/04/2014 11:26

I definitely prefer Samuel (I actually find Michael/Mike a bit dated...) and like a PP said, I've never met a Samuel I didn't like. I know lots of Michaels who I liked at the beginning but then they showed their true colours and all turned out to be horrid!!

CPtart · 02/04/2014 11:26

I prefer Samuel but inevitably he will get Sam. Every Sam I know does.

Viviennemary · 02/04/2014 11:27

This happened to us. But I was determined to get my way. I know that wasn't really fair. And I named DS after a family member. But DH's name choice was just a random one which was OK. So I thought my choice took precedence. And I agree you can't stop nicknames or shortforms. I prefer Michael to Samuel. But both are fine.

ksrwr · 02/04/2014 11:47

i was undecided on what to call DD but it was obvious from the moment she was born she didn't look like either of the two names i had picked out for her - just see what happens on the day ;-)

AnonymousBird · 02/04/2014 11:53

Michael is a good name (my Dad!) but quite old fashioned to my mind, though Mickey for a young boy works well.

Samuel/Sam you can't go wrong with.

mamalovebird · 02/04/2014 12:00

I have a Samuel. It was my second choice and DH's first choice but it suited him better than the name I had and I'm so glad we went with it.

I rarely call him Samuel though. Almost always Sam. He really suits it.

not sure what would have happened if I'd been adamant on my favourite name. I think DH would have let me choose on the basis that I was the one doing all the hard work :)

littlepeas · 02/04/2014 12:12

I think that when it comes down to it the person who has done all the work (you) should get the final say - he doesn't actually dislike your preference, so i think it's fine for you to decide. My dh has always let me choose in the end. But both of those names will be shortened, no matter how much you try to fight it.

Original poster
SharonBotts · 02/04/2014 14:58

Thanks everyone who has posted. Some good food for thought. Will show dh this thread and see if it helps us make a decision.

OP posts:
DawnOfTheDee · 02/04/2014 15:02

I know so many Samuels....there are loads of them round here. For that reason i'd choose Michael.

I like Michael better anyway....always thought Samuel/Sam sounds a bit wet.