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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Who gets the final say?

39 replies

SharonBotts · 02/04/2014 10:35

Dh and I are expecting a baby in the next few days. We have finally agreed on a girl's name but cannot settle on a boy's name. We both like the final two names that we are down to - Michael and Samuel - but we each prefer a different one. What do you do in this situation? How do you make the final call? Should we go on the popularity of the name (i.e. choose the less common one) or solicit opinions from family and friends? Really stuck. Anyone got any tips or advice on how we make the final choice?

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Original poster

SharonBotts · 02/04/2014 15:07

I know s

OP posts:

Original poster

SharonBotts · 02/04/2014 15:10

Whoops. On phone...

I know some older Michaels, though not many, and no older Samuels/Sams so even though I know Samuel is the more popular name I don't have a sense of how popular it is. Does anyone know if we are talking 3 in the class with the same name levels?

OP posts:

Innogen · 02/04/2014 16:50

Put the names here! We will choose for you

Innogen · 02/04/2014 16:51

Ah you have - Sam!

Bowlersarm · 02/04/2014 16:59

Samuel is fab. Not keen on Michael. Although think Samuel is more natural to shorten to Sam than Michael to Mike.

Really don't agree with the woman choosing because she's the one giving birth. That's like saying Sahm shouldn't get a say in spending the household income because it's not their salary.

If you both feel like digging your heels in, is there a third name you could compromise on?

HopelessDei · 02/04/2014 18:06

Samuel is a beautiful name, I love it.

But both are good, neither will be the wrong choice.

I think if your DH likes both names - it would be decent of him to let you choose since you're the one doing the hard labour.

HopelessDei · 02/04/2014 18:12

But Bowlers, ultimately one of them does have to choose. Don't you think that rather than a compromise name, they should go with one of the two that they both admit to liking? Wouldn't it just be a nice thing for the DH to do?

Your salary analogy suggests abuse and imbalanced of power. It's not like the OP wants to force a name the DH hates.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 02/04/2014 18:16

I absolutely detest the idea that a woman 'should choose' because 'she gives birth.' I think it's an outrageous attitude. If you both like both of them, then toss a coin - it's not like either of you end up with something you dislike. Otherwise, you need to go back to the drawing board and find a compromise.

Personally, I like both but prefer Michael.

Ludways · 02/04/2014 18:20

There's 4 Sam's in dd's class, lovely but very common. Michael is much nicer.

Both of my dc's have commonly nn'd names but both get their full names from both family and at school. They're much more likely to get a nn from our surname, even I get it from several people at work. Lol

LongDivision · 02/04/2014 18:27

I think you should keep looking for something that you will both love.

Bowlersarm · 02/04/2014 19:07

I don't agree with you HopelessDei If the DH really loves his choice, why shouldn't it be the nice thing for the OP to give in? Agree with Remus.

I have read, on MN, "tell him that when he's the one who gives birth, he can chose the name. Until then you get to chose" . That is unfair, and sexist, IMO. As if it's possible, or he has a choice in the matter.

And agree with LongDivision. If both are sticking to their guns, then there should to be a different compromise name.

Writerwannabe83 · 02/04/2014 20:53

I gave in to my husband. We couldn't really agree on a name, there wasn't one I was particularly determined to have whereas my DH really, really liked the name he wanted. I didn't see the point in coming up with a 'compromise name' when there was a clear favourite from my husband, so I just agreed to call the baby the name my husband wanted for him. Our son is now 12 days old and I absolutely LOVE the name and am really glad that he ended up with it by default

I prefer Samuel as a first name - Incidentally though, one of my son's middle names is Michael

Chloerose75 · 02/04/2014 21:19

Prefer Samuel

Ilikepancakes · 03/04/2014 15:35

I think if it is a real issue then leave it until after the birth as it won't be an issue if you have a girl so there is a 50% chance you will be worrying for nothing.

Saying that it might help to think which nickname you would like better. All the Samuals and Michaels I knew at school and the little ones I know now were Sams and Mikes by junior school. If you prefer an alternative nickname (Sammy, Mikey/Mickey/Mick) you should use it from the start or the default will be Sam/Mike.

I guess I'm lucky that DH doesn't have strong opinions on which names he like - just the ones he doesn't like. So apart from the ones he dislikes I can pretty much pick what I like.

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