Calling people who have kept their own surname or double barrelled and given their DC their maiden name as an extra middle name ....

[nappyaddict]

Sorry for long title but I'm after some rather specific people

Are your DC known as First Name Extra Middle Name Surname

Or are they just known as First Name DP/Hs Surname

I really really want any future DC to be known by both my surname and DPs.

DP doesn't want them to have a double-barrelled surname.

I wondered if giving them my maiden name as an extra middle name could be a compromise but would they actually be known by both names or would it just be DPs surname that they would be known by?

I think if you want your surname actually used, you will have to double barrel.

People will ditch names that are not double-barrelled IME.

I know someone who is quite grand who has two surnames which are not hyphenated ie you just say one and then the other. But I think he finds that he has to hyphenate them in order for government departments etc to call him by the right name.

OR

Could you consider doing what we did and merging half of each surname together to create a whole new surname? E.g. Ms Howard & Mr Johnson = Howson or Wardson.

You would have to have the kind of names that would work this way I suppose but it gets rid of the awkward hypenating two long names together issue that bothers some. It's also completely egalitarian favouring neither and giving equal weight to both. Both adults then change name by deed poll - very straightforward - then when registering DCs use the new name as normal.

I love that we have created a whole new name for our family.

My dd is FirstName MiddleName MySurname-Ex's Surname

but it usually gets shortened to FirstName MySurname by nursery staff, receptionists at doctors/dentitst etc as it is quite a long name otherwise but on official things its obv her full name.

My children have two surnames - which are not hyphenated, though some people do hyphenate them and I don't mind: they are First Name Second Name First surname Second surname.

Their first surname is their father's; their second is mine. We are not married, although obviously I wouldn't contemplate changing my surname even if we were.

They have very, very long names, it should be added. Their father's surname is Bengali and six letters: mine is Swedish and nine.

My d-i-l kept her own surname and both dc have that name as an extra middle name.They are known by their first name and their father's surname.

I'm First name [myownname]
DH is First name [hisownname]
The children are first name, second name, myownname, [hisownname]

MY DSs are all

FirstName MiddleName MySurnameAsMiddleName DH'sSurname

This is because I wanted my name in there (it is quite unusual, and sooooo much cooler than DH's - I still sometimes wish we had all taken my surname) but really don't like double-barrelled surnames, although our 2 sound pretty good together.

My experience has been that as the second middle name is obviously a surname (it's not e.g. Cameron, that could be a surname or a Christian name), people routinely assume that it is, in fact, a surname and that it should be double-barrelled. I have given up trying to tell DS2's pre-school that it isn't .

Mine have:

First name+My surname as middle name+DP's surname.

OP

I am Firstname Middlename Mumssurname Dadssurname (no hyphens).

For the first few years of my life I was known as Firstname Mumsurname-Dadssurname (ie people hyphenated it).

However since about age 5 I have been Firstname Dadssurname. I think it just became too much hassle to use both surnames, and/or people assumed the Mumsurname was a middle name rather than another surname, because it wasn't hyphenated.

So I would say - if you want your surname to be used, you will have to either hyphenate, or agree with your DH that your surname should go last and his should go in the middle.

My DC are First Name, Middle Name, My Surname-DH'sSurname.

Your maiden name as a middle name is nice, but they wouldn't ever actually be referred to as that.

If you write the word "name" often enough it starts to look really weird.

Ours are all

First name, middle name, my family name, DH surname.

They are all known just by DHs surname, but know they have mine too (even though I don't use it anymore) and like to have it.

It's nice to see other people have done the same though, none of our friends have.

We did this.
When DD was born we weren't married, when DS was born we were, but I've kept my maiden name (cos I like it :D )

Both children have my maiden name as a middle name.
I didn't want them to be double barrelled because it's a mouthful, plus my name is unusual and people always struggle to spell it so by putting it in as a middle name they can drop it most of the time, it's only required on official forms.
They're both known as First Name, DH's Surname by everyone except my Mum, who calls them First Name, My Surname, (plus DH's surname sometimes.) But then she calls my nieces by their full names quite often too.

My reasons for doing this (other than that I like my name.)

It links my name with their's.
I've traced my family tree back 400 years, but unless my SIL gets an unplanned boy our branch of the surname is at an end.
If DD marries and changes her surname she'll still have my name (I Win! :D)

mine are all double barreled, mine first then - then dps surname, they are known by their first name and the whole surname.

interstingly today i had my smear, lovely! and the nurse and i were talking about surnames and she was miffed that her son is married to his partner but she didnt take her sons name and the children have their mothers name (she also has a child from a previous relationhsip with her surname) so i assume it was done that way so all the kids have the same name. but she was really put out that her grandchildren didnt have t heir fathers name! i pointed out aht mothers often dont have the same name as their children its just down to personal choice.

I am Firstname Myname Hisname no hyphen

DD1 is Firstname Myname Hisname
DD2 is Firstname Hisname

Both girls only use DH's name at school.

I use just DH's name too at school and if we are doing something as a family but use both names at work and have that name on my bank accounts etc.

My passport is in just DH's name as my wedding book is in that name.

DD1 is the only one with both names on her passport as that is how she was registered at birth.

I'm sure some people muct find it all very confusing

bilblio, that's exactly why we did it this way as well. Very unusual surname, people always ask if I'm related to a famous Shakespearian actor. Husband's surname is pretty humdrum, and quite apart from the feminist perspective I wanted to keep my interesting one.

My sister's children are now known by her surname as well as the father is a nutter not involved in their lives at all, and my other sister's children are all double-barrelled as she hasn't married either of the two fathers. My third sister is married and has dumped her surname and not even given it as a middle name to any of her children.

DS is firstname secondname mymaidenname DHsurname. When I registered him the registrar made a point of saying "the third name is not part of his surname is it, or things will be more complicated." I don't know if that means it would have to be registered as a second surname or hyphenated.
The main problem with it is that it doesn't all fit easily on some forms (28 characters in total) and some forms won't allow you to put an initial without writing the whole name.
As my parents had two girls our branch of the family name has gone, which is why I wanted it for DS.

jandy So is he generally just known as Firstname DHsurname?

Yes

Wasn't married to now DH when had DD1 so gave her my surname as a 2nd middle name, I also added it for as a middle name or my passport after marriage, and DD2 has it too, it's a nice name and I wanted to keep it, doesn't get used unless children are naughty and need shouting at but nice to know it's there!

We have a complicated one - mine is a double barrelled surname - DH is a single surname. I didn't change my name when we got married, but we wanted DC names to reflect us both, so they have one of mine and his.

As seems to be most popular on this thread, I kept my name after getting married and the children have it tucked in as an extra middle name, for all the reasons already listed.

I do have friends who gave their dd her mother's surname and their ds, their father's surname. Neatly.

WHR I like the idea of that but I don't know of any one else who has done it.