Calling people who have kept their own surname or double barrelled and given their DC their maiden name as an extra middle name ....

[nappyaddict]

Sorry for long title but I'm after some rather specific people

Are your DC known as First Name Extra Middle Name Surname

Or are they just known as First Name DP/Hs Surname

I really really want any future DC to be known by both my surname and DPs.

DP doesn't want them to have a double-barrelled surname.

I wondered if giving them my maiden name as an extra middle name could be a compromise but would they actually be known by both names or would it just be DPs surname that they would be known by?

My friend has a very famous surname, her children are first name,her surname,dh surname.

However,they go by first name her surname (no mention of his!)

I'm sure that's no help,.....

If its not an actual double barrelled surname they will surEly be first name dh surname. Stick to your guns? If you're not married you don't have to use his name at all for them. I was married when We had DD but,I would, as a child of a divorcees, NEVER have a different surname to my child.

Not me, but a friend did. Am I allowed to answer?

Her DC are only ever known by first name + DHs surname. If a name is a middle name, it's just that. Unless it is part of a hyphenated name (either a hyphenated first name, or a double barrelled surname) I don't think middle names get used in every day life.

Also, bear in mind that a middle name is just that. So your child would be Sarah Smith Jones - i.e. on a form her surname is Jones and her first names are Sarah Smith. This means that the Smith bit automatically gets ditched when the surname is used alone. E.g. letters from the bank would come to Ms Jones. They wouldn't be to Ms Smith Jones, because that isn't her name IYSWIM.

You could have a double surname without a hyphen?

our dc have my surname, with my husband's surname as a second middle name. they are known as 'child mysurname'.

we considered double barrelling but it would have meant a six syllable surname...bit much really

My DD has my surname (I am single) and her dad's surname as a middle name.

It is JUST a middle name IYKWIM, I was adamant I wanted her to have the same surname as me as I am the main carer, but thought it was good way to show she is part of him too.

My dc have first name - my surname - dh surname. They use first name dh surname. I didnt change my name when I married so it was important to me to have my name in there somehow. We thought of double barrellling but dh was scared of his mum not keen.

My dcs have first name +middle name+ my surname+ dh's surname. They use first name + dh's surname.

IMO if you register them with your surname as a 'middle name' (ie a forename not a surname) it wont ever be used in a surname context e.g. passports, forms etc.

If you register them with 2 surnames (which we did) then they have the option of dropping one quietly in daily usage (school) because sometimes a double-barrelled name is just too much of a mouthful.

You have the choice of hyphenating or not hyphenating the 2 surnames. We chose not to, specifically so the dcs could more easily leave a name out in informal circumstances. A few computers can't cope without hyphenating the 2 surnames but it has not been a major problem through their lives.

We did it so the dcs could have both first names and surnames from mine and dh's cultures and could take on future identities of whichever country they choose to belong to and also becasue I am a militant feminist and wanted my surname to be kept.

My DD has DH's surname with mine as an extra middle name. She's mainly known as Robin (DH surname). I don't like hyphened surnames so it was my own decision not to join them, also our surnames both start with the same sound and have the same number of syllables so it wasn't ideal.

The reason I wanted both surnames was partly because my Dad was an only child and had 3 daughters, so this was a way of keeping his (unusual) name going. And also because we both travel a lot and not always together, but my passport is in my name and I think it's a good idea for our DD to be connected to both of us in official documents in case something awful happens and I can't claim any connection to her.

My children have First name, Middle name, DH's surname, My surname. They are commonly known as First name, My surname. We treat DH's surname as an extra middle name, but you could treat it as part of the surname if you wanted to - but I think unless it's hyphenated, people would generally assume that it wasn't part of the surname.

My ds is:first name my surname dh surname
He doesn't have any other middle name.
We wanted to include my family name for history sake really but it's to be used as a middle name not as an extra surname.
I'm puzzled over what to do though if we have a dc2. Should I carry it on so all dcshave same middle name? Or just first?
Also to confuse things, dc1's surname is not quite dh's surname, we internationalized it on his birth certificate
I kept my own surname so the three of us all have different surnames which I kind of like!

My two have first name + middle name + my surname + DH's surname, but they are generally just known as first name + DH's surname.

Less of a mouthful that way, also easier they were born and spent their first few years in Japan where no one has a middle name or double-barrelled surname so forms etc only have space for two names.

I think if you want to make sure that both surnames are used, you just have to make sure that you always refer to them that way, and always fill in forms (for doctors, schools etc) with both surnames in the surname box, whether or not they have a hyphen.

Mine have:

First Name. Middle Name. My Maiden Name As Extra Middle Name. (Dad's) Surname.

So for example, John Simon Harris Smith (not Harris-Smith). But as with most people, day to day (in school etc) are known as John Smith. The important thing, to me, is that my surname is in there, for them to know where they come from, iykwim.

We all have the same surname. It mine-dh's. So he has taken mine as much as I have his. It works for us. His parents were a bit about it though.

I did this as where my children were born we were not allowed to register them with both last names or with my last name if Dp was going to be named on the birth certificates.

So, although we wanted to double barrel, we were forced to give them both my last name as an extra middle. They are still known to school, friends etc as firstname myname hisname.

youll need to retain your surname and double barrell as when filling forms,birth cert etc it will ask

foreame
surname

frankly it's not up to your dp if you want to retain your surname then do so. your middle name isn't same as surname

our dc have double barrelled names
forenames
two surnames his and mine

If we had had dc they would have had our hyphenated surname - although double-barrelled names not 100% to our taste , Dh & I both felt it was important for equality & sense of dc's roots . In this country , not using hyphen means first name is ignored , whether intentionally a middle name or not

I think people will aways find a way to sneer slightly at name choices , for whatever reason , & not going doule barrelled won't necessarily avoid that -I was given my mother's maiden name , though only known by father's surname , in a culture where 3 surnames are common , & am sometimes smirked at when I use full name in paperwork< thumbs nose >

My DD has DH's surname with mine as an extra middle name. She's mainly known as Robin (DH surname). I don't like hyphened surnames so it was my own decision not to join them, also our surnames both start with the same sound and have the same number of syllables so it wasn't ideal.

The reason I wanted both surnames was partly because my Dad was an only child and had 3 daughters, so this was a way of keeping his (unusual) name going. And also because we both travel a lot and not always together, but my passport is in my name and I think it's a good idea for our DD to be connected to both of us in official documents in case something awful happens and I can't claim any connection to her.

My DD is the same as others have said - First Name, Middle Name, My Surname, DH's Surname. I didn't change my name when I got married, and it's quite unusual and I'm my dad's only child (and the only one of the grandchildren with it as my dad has two sisters) so I felt it was important that I passed it on. I'm 5 months pregnant and will be doing the same with the next one.

DS has my surname as a middle name. its in his passport so if I travel with DS with out DH its more obvious that he is my child.

Disgraceful that you weren't allowed that option for registering , ICutMYFoot

A dislike of double -barreled names / slight cringeing ( my own feeble emotion sometimes on using ) is not a good enough reason for erasing the mother's name !

oops , sp

Sorry - no idea why my laptop reposted my comment! I'm not trying to hammer in my point of view, honest!

As with Slambang

Myself and at least 5 or 6 friends had both parents surnames as our surnames, but without a hyphen! Our school was very pro-calling a child what they were supposed to be, so nicknames/shortened versions and one/two surnames with hyphen or without..

We had 'Campion Smith', 'Bartho Wells', 'Nowd Bailey' and 'Bailey Hope' to name but a few!!

I did change my surname to Firstname Myname-Hisname, but I found the whole namechange process such a massive bore that I've drifted back to just Firstname Myname.
DS is Firstname Myname-Hisname though. The ONLY people that don't use it are DH's family (whole other thread ).

i was FirstName MiddleNameAsSurname MaidenSurname. Now FirstName MiddleNameAsSurname MarriedSurname. No hyphens.

the middle name is a maiden name from my dad's side. mum got to choose my first name, dad got middle...

it is hideous and stupid. i hate having a completely unfeminine middle name that also has nothing to do with me. i would have much preferred something chosen to reflect ME, not my family of origin. i already HAD a surname to indicate which family i came from.

so of course i would not go for anything but hyphenation, theoretically anyway.

i think if you are set on including your surname somewhere, maybe go for the v sensible Icelandic thing of giving girls Mum's surname, and boys Dad's surname? that way it's all down to chance which name is used, all v egalitarian.

or at least include two middle names - one that refers to your child, and one for your family iyswim.

sorry should be "SurnameAsMiddleName", not "MiddleNameAsSurname"