Joe/Spike - your votes are needed please!

[luth]

20 months ago I called on the good people of mumsnet to choose my dd's name. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/baby_names/1005168-Primrose-Rosie-your-votes-are-needed/AllOnOnePage

We were having a dilemma between the popular Rosie and the more unusual Primrose and asked you to cast your votes. Although reaction was mixed, Primrose won and we couldn't be more delighted with it now - people who don't like it are mercifully silent and those who do gush with excitement when they hear it. I'm rather addicted to the "oh what a beautiful name" comments I still get regularly and my daughter is well known around our small town ie "oh that's Primrose" because it stands out and she is therefore easily remembered.

So I'm now due in 3 weeks with no 2 - this time with a boy! My partner and I find choosing names a nightmare (but don't want to discuss names with our friends or family as we're keeping the sex secret from everyone). We're down to 2 names: Joe (not Joseph) and Spike and it's kind of the same dilemma as before. Do we stick to the safe Joe and have Spike as a middle name or go for the more 'out there' Spike for a first name given that we have had such a positive reaction to our unusual girls name.

DH thinks that boys can't carry off unusual names like girls and that he'll get bullied and pre-judged if he's called Spike. However I've just read another thread which says that Joe is really popular and although this shouldn't bother me, I would mind if he was say one of three Joe's in his class.

So we've decided to go with you lot again! Please cast your vote for either:
Option 1 - Joe Spike Palmer
Option 2 - Spike Joe Palmer

Thank you in advance for helping us out and taking the time to respond!!!

What is with the obsession with spelling names differently?! It doesn't make you look "cool" or "unusual" it makes you look like you can't spell!

[pet hate]

Call him Joe but spell it "Spike" :o

My pet peeve is Zooey. I watched a whole film before realising that the girls name was Zoe.

Joe!

Spike is awful. Spyke is even worse! It just sounds like a very dated, 'Eighties' wannabe-cool name, to my ears. It's not a good name, sorry.

Joe is nice, if a little dull.

I met someone with a son named Spike when I was in my 20s. I apprently reacted the same way as 90% of oter people and said "Oh cute, what's his real name?". It didn't go down well, but she was quite used to it as I was the 50 millionth person to say it to her.

Call him Joe. Use Spike as a nickname (which is what it is), or a middle name if you must. He's a child not a dog.

Joe is indeed v v popular, most Joes I know are lovely tho.

There is one in most classes at my secondary school. Joe is Ds2's (8yo) best mate; DD (10) has three in her year.

I have never met anyone called Spike. I think there is a reason - it sounds like a nickname to me and not one I would go for.

I think you need another idea - something a bit more unusual than Kpe but not Spike.

Kpe???? I mean Joe of course.

Joel?

I was really keen on Spike for a while (I love Spike Milligan) and wanted to call my (then imaginary) future DS Spike.

However although I love unusual names, I wasn't brave enough to go with Spike. i still love it, but I wonder if the aggressive interpretation of it (it does literally mean a spike!) might be hard to carry for a little boy.

I don't like nns as given names, as I feel it takes away choice from a child as they grow older for no very good reason. So I don't like either option or the combinations, especially as Spike is very harsh. However given the choice I think that Joe Spike Palmer sounds worse that Spike Joe Palmer. Both are a bit of an odd combination with Primrose, unless she is usually known as Rosie.

Primrose is pretty and pastoral, and on the old lady trend whilst both Spike and Joe strike me as urban and modern.

But many names we consider "normal" names these days were once NNs.

e.g. Kate, Molly, Amy, Sally, Lisa etc

I agree with nooka, primrose is very traditional and classic while Joe/Spike are trying to be uber cool. I also think it weird to have some so feminine for you daughter and something so ultra masculine for your son like Spike.

Boy names that go with primrose are Edward, James, Harry, Alfred, Albert, Herbert, Archer, Percy etc.

Ned
Sam
Alfie
Archie
Ernie
Tom
David
Sebastian
Andy
Toby
Fabian
Lorcan
Miles
Logan
Beau
Adam
Felix
Frank
Stan
Jim
Barney

I do like Joe but not Spike not even as a middle name.

Spike is hideous - sorry. As another poster says combined with Primrose it also sounds like you want to massively stereotype your kids into a girly girl and a butch boy. Not fair. Imagine him with glasses, spots and being picked on as a teenager - he will hate his name as it could be a stick for others to beat him with. Spike (and god forbid Spyke) along with Kadens and Jadens will also date him as coming from a certain time and maybe having folks who tried a bit hard with coming up with an unusual name / dodgy / quirky spelling.

So we added up the votes on Tuesday. Joe won 47 votes to 36. DH and I sat in bed and confidently drew a line under it! Joe Spike it was. Then the next day I went to the hairdressers and heard Jo being called out all the time (2 female Jos and 1 male Joe worked there). I never thought about girls being called Jo as well. The day after we sat in a doctors waiting room (and I know I sound like a snob) but there was a really chavvy couple with a little boy called Joe Joe ("like off Waybaloo"). Eeek.

I got back to thinking when the voting was going for Spike (it was ahead at one point) I almost cheered out loud when Janoschi wrote she'd be gutted if I called him Joe! (I loved your posts Janoschi!!) And when we re-read all the comments DH pointed out that some of the votes weren't necessarily for Joe but more as an option for those that really really didn't like Spike.

When I hear the name Spike - I think of Spike Jonze or Spike Lee. I didn't know it was Tom and Jerry's dog (you lot must be great at pub quizzes!) With the Primrose thread we had a lot of 'it reminds me Fred West's ugly wife' (whereas her real name was actually Rosemary). I guess what springs to mind is different for different people.

It didn't occur to me to worry how his name would go with Primrose - aside from on Christmas cards does it really matter? I suppose it could be construed as stereotypical but Primrose is a complete tomboy (not girly in the slightest!). I would encourage my son to develop his own personality too (and I'm not going to tolerate any thuggish/butch behaviour whatever his name is!) If he really hates it as a teenager he can always revert to his middle name - which incidentally I've now relented on and will be John! Talk about chalk and cheese!

I guess what I'm saying is that all comments on this thread have been extremely helpful (both good and bad) so thank you so so much! The good comments have encouraged us that although Spike is a total marmite name a significant minority do really love it! The bad comments have prepared us for the inevitable face pulling from some quarters (FYI - I am completely with you all on the try-hard mis-spelling thing though!)

So tentatively we are going with Spike John Palmer for no other good reason than we realized (through doing this) that we loved it. Like last time I will post an update after a few months to let you know what the reaction was and if we had any regrets (hopefully not!) Wish me luck breaking it to both sets of parents though (ha ha!!)

Congratulations on your beautiful baby and his brilliant name :)

And sorry, I forgot to say, good luck with the parents and ILs :)

I really think you should be free to call your son whatever you please but I think you ought to name him something else (e.g. John) and nickname him Spike: e.g. 'These are my children, Primrose and John; we call them Rosie and Spike.' Call him Spike from birth - even give it to him as a middle name - but give him a different first name so he is not prejudged on paper.

Please don't call your son Spike.

Your Dh is right, he will be prejudged, it doesn't exactly present positive connotations. Poor kid will be judged at every job interview/meeting girlfriend parents situation etc before they even meet him.

I think what you seem to miss is that whilst Primrose is unusual it can still be suitable for a human being and is a nice sounding name.

spike = name for a pet.

Personally i hope you don't use it as a middle name either but it is the lesser of two evils...

Sorry i am sounding harsh but i am trying to protect your son :) Normally names like that seem a good idea at the time, but he is stuck for it for up to 100 years and has to live with it everyday....

Just read you have decided to call him Spike (sorry only just seen this after i posted).

It is hugely ironic that you are saying you sound like a snob for judging that couple with the name Jo Jo as chavvy (i agree, it's awful) but Spike hardly screams sophistication, I am sure you are extremely sophisticated, I guess I am (at the grand age of 27) out of touch because it has been more popular on here than i would ever have thought.

I wish you all the best - but do agree with the other posters who suggest using Spike as a nn (then i think actually it's cute) but no sane adult can seriously think naming their child Spike is a good idea....each to their own.

IME people get used to unusual names once they get to know the person - the name becomes associated with that person and doesn't sound so strange anymore.

I know a lovely boy who was called Joe Joe when he was young.

Good on you for sticking to your initial preference. It is a decent name and I bet he will love it.

I promised to post an update and Spike John was born on 24th April! Like this post there have been two very distinct reactions to his name. My parents still can't bring themselves to say it out loud. My father generally tells people he's called John. The reaction of their generation is usually stunned disbelief.

The majority of my female friends really don't get it either and although no-one has been rude it's the look on their faces which gives it away - "oh right" and a step back is the norm. A few though have been very positive and I have had a couple of gushing responses from strangers!

On the other hand nearly every single one of my husband's friends, family and work colleagues LOVE LOVE LOVE Spike and he is so proud now that we chose it. His best mate's reaction was 'you've given your son the best start in life by giving him that name' and our friend's 10 year old son said "Dad, why couldn't you have given me a cool name like that?!!"

If I'm totally honest I do still feel a bit insecure about it (mainly I guess because of my parent's reaction and my hormones are making me super sensitive) but its all still a bit new and I'm sure everyone will settle down in a few weeks when it will just become his name. I find it weird when I see it written down on official letters and I sometimes wonder if we did the right thing for him. However I'm glad we went for something that we love and because I've met so many since, I think I would have regretted it more if we'd gone for Joe. Because I have such positive feelings about Spike I really didn't think it was THAT 'out there' - I guess this thread should have prepared me a bit more.

So if anyone is reading this and is considering Spike as a name - boys will love it, girls will be mixed. 40 something blokes who work in advertising in London think it is the coolest name going. Parents will probably never speak to you again!!! My advice - develop a thick skin for the early days and go for it! xx