Joe/Spike - your votes are needed please!

[luth]

20 months ago I called on the good people of mumsnet to choose my dd's name. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/baby_names/1005168-Primrose-Rosie-your-votes-are-needed/AllOnOnePage

We were having a dilemma between the popular Rosie and the more unusual Primrose and asked you to cast your votes. Although reaction was mixed, Primrose won and we couldn't be more delighted with it now - people who don't like it are mercifully silent and those who do gush with excitement when they hear it. I'm rather addicted to the "oh what a beautiful name" comments I still get regularly and my daughter is well known around our small town ie "oh that's Primrose" because it stands out and she is therefore easily remembered.

So I'm now due in 3 weeks with no 2 - this time with a boy! My partner and I find choosing names a nightmare (but don't want to discuss names with our friends or family as we're keeping the sex secret from everyone). We're down to 2 names: Joe (not Joseph) and Spike and it's kind of the same dilemma as before. Do we stick to the safe Joe and have Spike as a middle name or go for the more 'out there' Spike for a first name given that we have had such a positive reaction to our unusual girls name.

DH thinks that boys can't carry off unusual names like girls and that he'll get bullied and pre-judged if he's called Spike. However I've just read another thread which says that Joe is really popular and although this shouldn't bother me, I would mind if he was say one of three Joe's in his class.

So we've decided to go with you lot again! Please cast your vote for either:
Option 1 - Joe Spike Palmer
Option 2 - Spike Joe Palmer

Thank you in advance for helping us out and taking the time to respond!!!

Spike!

I think Spike Milligan - not a bad namesake.

Joe is just too dull for Primrose - poor kid'll think you'd lost interest in names by the time he came along!

Spikenard is a plant. Could be Ken or Kenny if he hates it later? I know about Spikenard because I wanted to use a form of Spike for my baby but I got a girl and an unadventurous DP .

Joe is quite popular, but Spike is a dog's name. Please don't do that to the poor lad. Remember, he's not going to be a cute 4 - 6 yr old for ever, he will spend most of his life as an adult, and will be in adult situations a lot. Please don't.

Spike Milligan was not his real name though, it was a nickname. His real name was Terrence!

Spike James is lovely.

Spike is a nickname.
I would go for Joe but give him Joseph so that he has the options later.(and miss Spike out altogether)

You can call his Spike as a nickname for anything.Spike Milligan was Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan.

Spike is a nickname, not a given name.

Sadly, it is easy to make assumptions about someone with a name like Spike and I don't think a name should be a burden on anyone. It should simply be an identifier. Do not foist your own individuality on your son - give him a name that he can grow into and make his own, not one that marks him out a certain way for life.

Exactly Stellan-open the options. I know a DC called Jamie as a baby, his parents intended him to be Jamie for life, but luckily he had James on the birth certificate and from the age of 8yrs he insisted on James.

Spike Milligan had plenty of options!

Whatever you choose, you can call him Spike from birth but at least he can change it, if he wants to.

I would make assumptions about 'Spike'- I couldn't help myself. He may prove them wrong, but why give him the handicap first?

I think of Spike Lee. Wasn't that a nickname? I knew of a Buster (as a given name). I always have the mental picture of Busta Bloodvessel or one of the Bash Street Kids (don't think there was a Buster, but it seems to fit).

Not keen on Joseph, not sure why.

Primrose is lovely, and it can be shortened to Rosie, which is cute.

Joe is lovely, spike is just too weird and doesn't really go with Primrose (which is beautiful by the way).

We know a Spike who is very sweet. It's a terrible name though!

That's the other thing, there are no nicknames possible with Spike (because it is the nickname). You can use it as a nn but give him a different 'official' name and I really think that'd be better. I like the suggestion of Seth. Why not browse some of the 'unusual boy's name' threads for inspiration?

I know Spike Milligan was Terence! Sorry to break it to you but Spike from Buffy wasn't that guy's real name either. I just said what Spike reminded me of, that's all.

Spike suits a teenager too, not just a toddler.

I'd go with Spike though. Definitely. And really, if you met an adult in RL who was a teacher or a librarian or whatever and he said his name was Spike, would you actually judge him for it and never go near him again or would you just smile to yourself?

People get so het up about 'weird' names.

The problem is that some parents (not accusing the OP of this) seem to get competitive about how unusual the names they use are. A lot of names sound cute on a baby/toddler but plain daft on a grown adult.

Naming a child does not require individuality, they are by virtue of their existence individuals.

Names of siblings do not need to "go together" either. They are individuals, not a unit, so it really doesn't matter if the names don't match. After all, they will spend far more of their lives apart from each other than they will together.

[climbs off soapbox]

Why not go for the full 'William the Bloody'?

I'm sorry but :o at sash

Joe first

CaveM "The problem is that some parents (not accusing the OP of this) seem to get competitive about how unusual the names they use are. A lot of names sound cute on a baby/toddler but plain daft on a grown adult."

I completely agree with this. I found it so hard when naming mine because you know you're part of a cultural wave when it comes to names anyway. I didn't want to be one of those 'we thought we were being so different by naming him Mungo' people because actually in ten years time schools are going to be chocca with Mungos, Milos and Ignatios.

FWIW though, as I say my husband is a Spike - the reaction he tends to get (as a mid-40s bloke with a high-profile job) is a very good one. People sometimes think it's a vaguely amusing, but that's it. I can't believe for an instant a name would ever hold you back in life - once you become an adult you just are who you are. It's a bit different when you're stood looking at the names written on the coat pegs at nursery drop-off time - at that point you look at the names and make judgements about who the parents are

I agree. It's the personality that holds someone back, not their name. And really, is Spike really that far out? It's not as though the OP wants to use Manure or Toggle.

Spike Jonze
Spike Lee
Spike Milligan

Question for you - would any of the above got as far as they did if they'd stuck with their 'normal' names?

A Spike will certainly be remembered more easily than a Joe, Steve or Mike. And thats a good thing imo.

I think the problem is that for your son you have a choice between really unusual vs. very normal. Whereas your daughter name is unusual but it is a name that is still used can be shortened whereas with spike you can't change it to have a nickname etc.

What about:
Bertie
Jake
Oscar
Frankie
Freddie
Saul
Silas
Basil
Buddy
Herbie
Percy
Alfie
Arthur (artie)
Jackson

I like Primrose and Percy

I like Spike! I know a grown-up one.

But Joe is my all-time favourite. If I'd had a boy, he would have been Joe. And 'Primrose and Joe' sounds better than 'Primrose and Spike'.

Surely you want to be remembered for your personality and deeds, not your name! A name is not an achievement.

Spike is goddamn awful. No. Just no. Poor kid. Joe is a bit boring - surely you can think of something else?

Never known a Primrose before. Trying not to think about Dr Harold Shipman's obese wife.

welovesausagedogs - now I LOVE Percy. :)