Joe/Spike - your votes are needed please!

[luth]

20 months ago I called on the good people of mumsnet to choose my dd's name. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/baby_names/1005168-Primrose-Rosie-your-votes-are-needed/AllOnOnePage

We were having a dilemma between the popular Rosie and the more unusual Primrose and asked you to cast your votes. Although reaction was mixed, Primrose won and we couldn't be more delighted with it now - people who don't like it are mercifully silent and those who do gush with excitement when they hear it. I'm rather addicted to the "oh what a beautiful name" comments I still get regularly and my daughter is well known around our small town ie "oh that's Primrose" because it stands out and she is therefore easily remembered.

So I'm now due in 3 weeks with no 2 - this time with a boy! My partner and I find choosing names a nightmare (but don't want to discuss names with our friends or family as we're keeping the sex secret from everyone). We're down to 2 names: Joe (not Joseph) and Spike and it's kind of the same dilemma as before. Do we stick to the safe Joe and have Spike as a middle name or go for the more 'out there' Spike for a first name given that we have had such a positive reaction to our unusual girls name.

DH thinks that boys can't carry off unusual names like girls and that he'll get bullied and pre-judged if he's called Spike. However I've just read another thread which says that Joe is really popular and although this shouldn't bother me, I would mind if he was say one of three Joe's in his class.

So we've decided to go with you lot again! Please cast your vote for either:
Option 1 - Joe Spike Palmer
Option 2 - Spike Joe Palmer

Thank you in advance for helping us out and taking the time to respond!!!

I know Spike Milligan was Terence!

But the point was that he had a choice of 4 proper names.

A Spike will certainly be remembered more easily than a Joe, Steve or Mike. And thats a good thing imo.

Only if you have that sort of personality. I can't say that I wanted to be remembered as a DC-I preferred to fade into the background!
I know a Lavender my age and she hates the fact that she is always the one remembered in a group.

Ladies with DDs - flash forward 18 years. 'Mummy, Daddy, I'm bringing home my new boyfriend. His name is Spike'

Frontpaw - mum conjures up large man with tattoos and a leather jacket with a mohican.

Spike Milligan has this NN because of his large...urrm...appendage.

Just thought you might want to know.

I love the name Spike.

My ds is called Joe and obviously I love that name too BUT there are an awful lot of Joes around.

I really like unusual names but DH vetoed them all.

"I know Spike Milligan was Terence!"

"But the point was that he had a choice of 4 proper names."

And he STILL chose Spike .

Exactly he chose it.

Because his parents got it wrong by being a bit dull?

Look, you can't predict what name your kid will want as an adult. There are so many variables. Character, job, current fashions, sudden bad associations (ie Adolf for the 21stC) etc.

That's the point of being a parent. You give the baby a name you love. Then when they ask why they were called that poxy awful name, you can at least say it's because I love it, not because some random MNetters told me to.

And they can change it. Or use a middle name. Or a symbol.

If they prefer other names, they can call their dog/baby/parrot (delete as applicable) that name, or indeed themselves if they want.

You can avoid a name that is going to be a handicap to them. I immediately form an impression of Spike-and not favourable.

If you are going ahead with Spike at least give something 'boring' as a second name and then he has the choice. I love the names deemed dull and boring and am very thankful that I have one myself!

Absolutely. I'd say giving a traditional name as one of the names is kind. See, I'm not totally cruel!

I'm not even saying everyone must use odd names. Different people like different names, which is great and only adds to the rich tapestry blah blah blah. I'm just saying that IF you like something a bit weird, then you shouldn't automatically discount it as cruel and harmful to future career prospects. Because there's room for al kinds of peoples called all kinds of things doing all kinds of jobs. Life's nice like that.

God my spelling. Sorry!

But can't you see you're just projecting your own insecurities about being 'different' exoticfruits? I guess this is what it's all about, and why some people have no qualms whatsoever about giving their children unusual names - because they are projecting their own confidence that their children will be just fine with it. I've met plenty of adults with fantastic, unusual names and not one of them has been a gibbering wreck. My name was quite 'different' when I was growing up and I was always proud to be different and not one of five Sarahs in each class.

When you look at your baby you have no idea whether they can carry it off or not-or even if they want to. It is perfectly possible for a very confident, extrovert parent to have a shy, introverted DC-I know some. The ones that I know are not gibbering wrecks because they keep it a dark secret and call themselves something else for every day!

I think they should have a choice.

A DC who is a leader, very popular and full of self confidence could carry off Ethel and even make it 'cool,' but it would be a millstone round the neck for an unpopular DC who lacked self confidence. You can't know what you are getting.

Especially if Ethel was a boy .

I wasn't extrovert at all. Was horribly, painfully shy. I had glasses, a home haircut and wore hand-me-downs. My name was NEVER an issue and I never felt it should've been. To me it was normal, but then again I grew up amongst a lot of different cultures and in that situation, what the hell is a normal name anyway?

Life is getting much more multicultural now, with lots of Brits also working abroad. Much more so than in the 70s-80s. We eat a wider range of foods, travel to more exotic places and do more varied hobbies than our parents ever did.

That's why I really do doubt that odd names now will create the same negative reactions as those experienced by some posters here.

Just as well we are all different. I may be biased, as I love the classic names.

I went to school with a Mark William... he chose to be known as Billy. And still does :)

As I said, my own DD has a normal(ish) name . I like a mix of classic and nature-based names, but am a sucker for names like Spike, Rusty etc.

Difference is the key. It's be so dull if every girl was Elizabeth and every boy was Harry. Equally, it'd be awful to have every kid called Warble or Fizz.

What about Jonah or Joel as an alternative to Joseph? More unusual but Joe could still be used as nn?

Thank you so much everyone - I'm thrilled that we've got so many responses and most are making me and DH laugh out loud! You're a very funny bunch!!!! It was also really useful reading the debate about your experiences of whether different names are a help or a hindrance.

You know what - after adding all of the answers up there are only 2 votes in it - currently in Joe's favour! Your honesty shows what a marmite name Spike is though - there's no middle ground there!! I'd love to hear from a teacher (or an employer) to see if first impressions of that name really would hold him back? (I'll take a gamble on prospective fathers-in-law!)

Thanks also to those who took the time to make alternative suggestions but after 8 months of searching through name books and writing lists we've reached our limit - I'm so fed up of looking and these are now the only two which mean anything to us. (DH keeps trying to persuade me to add John to the mix - its his middle name - but I really really don't like it as a first name.)

So back to you. This is really, really helping us decide so thank you again for responding. We'll probably do a final count next week so please keep voting. And of course, I'll post an update once its decided! x

I would love a son in law called Spike - I'd think he'd turn out to be a cool musician, or an accountant. It's a fab name.

I'm an employer! I recruit freelancers on a weekly basis and I say SPIKE. I'd employ him on the spot, utterly talentless though he may be .

Joe would have to be bloody good if I also had a Spike in the running.

I wish my accountant was called Spike. Maybe I'll find one that is...

Spike.

Yep.

Are people really called Spike, as their actual name on their birth certificates? I always thought it was just a nickname. Don't like it at all.

I don't like Spike with Primrose either - it sounds like you've gone for the extremes, something really feminine and soft for your girl and really butch and aggressive for your boy.

Jackson as a nod to John(son of John)?