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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

What do you do when your enemy steals you baby name?

120 replies

CantWaitForMyBaby · 16/04/2011 16:05

Here's the situ:
In work, all the people on my floor are friendly and I get along well with all of them, but there's one lady (let's call her Kate) who is cruel, mean, ignorant, hated and irritating and no-one gets along with her at all. She was already pregnant when I found out I was, and all the people on my floor were helping me decide in names, and my baby was always the topic of conversation. DH and I found the name combo which we both loved after months of deliberation - Poppy Eliza May. Two weeks after I told the rest of the office the name, Kate left for her maternity leave and came back two months later (2 weeks ago) to show us the baby. She had named it Poppy Eliza May. None of the office dared confront her about how she had stolen my name, as she was bound to report us for 'bullying' (which she has done before and ended up getting one of my colleagues sacked)
Now I face a dilemma - do I just call DD(who is due next week) Poppy Eliza May or shall I think up a new name? I wouldn't so much mind the latter apart from it took agesto find a name DH and I agreed on as we are both so fussy and I really don't think we will be able to find a name we love as much as Poppy Eliza May.
Please help!

OP posts:

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Bucharest · 16/04/2011 16:09

She hasn't stolen "your" name.
She had her baby first.
You sound a complete cow.
I'm glad I don't work with you.
Your colleague's daughter is not an "it" anymore than yours will be.
The irony of you calling this other woman vile names is er, ironic.
You can still call your baby Poppy.
You need to get a grip. A big one.

livinlavidaloca · 16/04/2011 16:13

I'd go for it - it's a nice name, you both like it and everyone knows you had it first. Your child will make it her own and in years to come you'll probably forget that this woman stole your name but until then, enjoy your baby and her name and feel pity for the woman who didn't have the imagination to choose her own name!

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 16/04/2011 16:13

I agree with Bucharest tbh, bosses don't lightly sack people for bullying and given that you've just posted vile things about this woman on a website it seems to back up the idea that actually there is bullying going on.

and re stealing the name, you can't copyright a name. You call your baby whatever you want, she can call her baby whatever she wants.

theagedparent · 16/04/2011 16:15

I would think of a new name

Mamaone · 16/04/2011 16:15

Oh dear :( Is it very likely that you will know this woman 5 or 10 years from now? Will your daughters be in the same school? If no, then I would go ahead with your name choice- as you love it so much- unless this whole incident has ruined it for you. I would usually say that no-one owns a name- but the exact combo of three names is going a bit far. However, no good is going to come from anyone 'confronting' her about her newborn child. It sounds like she may be v insecure so I would leave her out of this completely- just choose the right name for your dd.

Mamaone · 16/04/2011 16:17

Kevinia · 16/04/2011 16:18

It must feel bad to be the only person on your floor that noone gets along with. :(

Georgimama · 16/04/2011 16:18

Q: What do you do when your enemy steals your baby name?

A: Get over yourself.

You sound about 12.

WinkyWinkola · 16/04/2011 16:19

Do you think anyone in the office would be so interested in "confronting" Kate over this?

Unfortunately, nobody has copyright over names.

Use the same name if you want or exert your imagination to find another you like. The Baby Name board or finder is fun!

P.s. Do you think 'Kate' might have a valid point if someone actually got sacked for bullying her? Maybe the rest of your office are just trying to be professional rather than pick a fight over a baby name?

Mamaone · 16/04/2011 16:20

Yes I must say the whole thing does sound a bit like secondary school...

Bunbaker · 16/04/2011 16:20

"You call your baby whatever you want, she can call her baby whatever she wants."

I agree. Are you likely to go to the same toddler groups/nursery as she is? Will your children go to the same school? If your paths aren't going to cross, then just go for the names you want. DD has the same first and middle names as another girl in her class. Do I care? No. I just congratulated the mum (who is lovely BTW) for having such good taste. As seth has pointed out, you can't copyright a name.

If you feel that this woman has copied you then you should feel flattered. After all, imitation is the highest form of flattery. Just let it go. It isn't important.

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 16/04/2011 16:20

does anyone else think it's quite funny that there is this vicious bitchfest going on over such a cutesy name?

bran · 16/04/2011 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DramaInPyjamas · 16/04/2011 16:22

What Bucharest said

DramaInPyjamas · 16/04/2011 16:23

yes Seth.. Poppy Eliza May is a bit of a sickly name if you ask me

Georgimama · 16/04/2011 16:28

By complete coincidence I ended up at school (she was 2 years below me) with a girl who had exactly the same name as me - surname as well. Perhaps our mothers should have had a face off over who had thought of it first, and the loser should have had to change it.

working9while5 · 16/04/2011 16:29

Perhaps next time don't advertise your chosen name before your baby arrives?

The most important thing in late pregnancy and childbirth is that a baby arrives into the world safely. This may seem important to you, but I assure you it is not.

Keep the name, change the name. It doesn't much matter in the grand scheme of things.

fallingandlaughing · 16/04/2011 16:35

It isn't even the same name. Your DD will be Poppy. Hers will be Eliza. How often do people use middle names??? Two middle names seem excessive anyway. Eliza is v rapidly growing in popularity these days and May is a default middle name along the lines of Rose, so you may be reading too much into her choices. Do you think she and her OH would really use their daughter to plot to well.. irritate you a bit.

Maybe she isn't a very nice person, but you are not exactly covering yourself in glory here.

Having an "enemy" sounds more than a bit high school.

Gooseberrybushes · 16/04/2011 16:36

That is such a weird thing to do. Very weird indeed. Copy a name like that.

Other than that, it sounds like she was really being bullied.

annh · 16/04/2011 16:49

Good grief, is this work or junior school? Why were "all the people on my floor" helping you to chose baby names? Was that not something for you and your husband to decide? And why did you feel the need to share the name with everyone?

Georgimama · 16/04/2011 16:50

As an aside I am glad I don't work with you if your baby was "always the topic of conversation".

hocuspontas · 16/04/2011 16:51

Although I can understand you being a bit miffed, I feel sorry for Kate seeing as she was pregnant but 'all the people on my floor were helping me decide in names and my baby was always the topic of conversation'. How sad would you be if the situation was reversed, no one interested in your baby? She probably heard the names being bandied around and may not have heard your final choice as it sounds like no one includes her in conversations. I probably wouldn't call your dd exactly the same names seeing how much you despise this woman but maybe think of another first name?

MaundyBra · 16/04/2011 16:54

She probably did it just to spite you. Good on you Kate.

BikeRunSki · 16/04/2011 17:02

If you don't like her, why do you care?

My DS has the same first name as my line manager's son. Because it is a nice name. We don't spend a lot of time talking about our children at work, so it is all pretty irrelevant.

thebestisyettocome · 16/04/2011 17:03

You sound awful and probably do bully 'Kate.' She's done it just to piss you off and I don't blame her to be honest.

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