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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

What do you do when your enemy steals you baby name?

120 replies

CantWaitForMyBaby · 16/04/2011 16:05

Here's the situ:
In work, all the people on my floor are friendly and I get along well with all of them, but there's one lady (let's call her Kate) who is cruel, mean, ignorant, hated and irritating and no-one gets along with her at all. She was already pregnant when I found out I was, and all the people on my floor were helping me decide in names, and my baby was always the topic of conversation. DH and I found the name combo which we both loved after months of deliberation - Poppy Eliza May. Two weeks after I told the rest of the office the name, Kate left for her maternity leave and came back two months later (2 weeks ago) to show us the baby. She had named it Poppy Eliza May. None of the office dared confront her about how she had stolen my name, as she was bound to report us for 'bullying' (which she has done before and ended up getting one of my colleagues sacked)
Now I face a dilemma - do I just call DD(who is due next week) Poppy Eliza May or shall I think up a new name? I wouldn't so much mind the latter apart from it took agesto find a name DH and I agreed on as we are both so fussy and I really don't think we will be able to find a name we love as much as Poppy Eliza May.
Please help!

OP posts:

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ValiumBandwitch · 16/04/2011 18:32

Poppy Eliza May is all very rightnowthissecond. Make the name a little bit more classic. Penelope Maeve Elizabeth. Penny is much nicer than Poppy.

or, Elizabeth Penelope Maeve with Elsa for short.

ValiumBandwitch · 16/04/2011 18:35

Ps, obviously I can't comment on your office politics as I wasn't in the middle of it, but is it possible that the other pregnant colleague thought that the baby name discussions were general. I mean, if she was pregnant as well, and further along! how would she have known that the discussions about baby names were in reference to your baby but not hers?

LyraBelaqua · 16/04/2011 20:17

I'm not meaning to sound preachy here but it sounds to me that people are now picking on the poster for picking on someone I can understand being peeved that she used 'your' chosen name but I doubt she did it to annoy you, after all her child has to live with it forever so she must have loved it. I'd change your name as whenever you think of Poppy it will be linked to bad feeling.

LyraBelaqua · 16/04/2011 20:21

Would just like to add that I'm not sticking up for this woman's comments and possible behaviour just disagree with the 'eye for an eye' stuff.

notanumber · 16/04/2011 21:11

Agree with LyraBelaqua.

It would sorely chap my hide if someone knew I had three names all picked out and then used the exact same ones first.

But...Wotcha gonna do 'bout it, Can'tWaitForMyBaby? She's done it, what's to be achieved by anyone confronting her?

In answer to your question, yes I would pick a new name. The old one has bad shit associated with it now for you.

If I've tapped your taste correctly, might you go for Kitty Amelia Rose?

Hatterbox · 16/04/2011 21:33

Is the combo Poppy Eliza May copyrighted by you? No? Then she hasn't stolen it.

You don't own the name, just I don't own the names of my children, and anyone is free to use them.

Just pause for a moment of reflection, think about all the cr@p things that are going on in the world, and ask yourself if being so spiteful over a name is really worth it.

Get over it.

notanumber · 16/04/2011 21:43

Man, she's had her pasting, maybe we should chill now. This is a nice part of MN remember, we don't do none the ol' AIBU shit in this here section, laydeez.

And I still think that, ok - the name is not Can'tWaitForMyBaby's copyrighted property, and "Kate" is perfectly within her rights to call her daughter whatever she damn well pleases, yada, yada, yada.

BUT. It is a bit weird, isn't it? It can't be a complete coincidence to use the exact same three names as someone else in your office who is due roughly around the same time as you has chosen. I don't think Can'tWaitForMyBaby is some kind of loon for being miffed and thinking it's an odd thing to have done.

Kaekae · 16/04/2011 21:45

The name is not unique, I have a Poppy Elizabeth. Its such a popular name now. TBH if you like it use it, you won't be working with her forever, but there are so many lovely names out there I'd probably opt for something else, I would have gone with Florence had it not rhymed with our surname!

Wormshuffler · 16/04/2011 21:51

I can totally understand why you would be annoyed at this.
My DC's are alot further down the track than yours at 11 and 9 and quite honestly we never use their middle names. So if you think about the first names being the same then is it really so bad??
Poppy IMHO is one of those names that I can't imagine an adult with though to be honest.....

exoticfruits · 16/04/2011 22:03

You can't steal a name! Why would it stop you using it-I doubt if your 2 babies will be together at any point.

hocuspontas · 16/04/2011 22:07

Yeah, it's SO odd that I'm wondering if it's actually true...

Come back and reassure us op

Kaekae · 16/04/2011 22:13

I know two very successful adult Poppy's, suits them well.

RueLaChesty · 16/04/2011 22:25

yup i think this is a bit of a wind up.

If not, then go for a different name and when back at work ask Poppys mum how they are getting on. nothing worse than spending 9 months or so off on mat leave and talking about kids all the time and then going back to work and feeling totally out the loop as you have no idea what anyone is talking about and they don't want to hear about your kids!!

PotPourri · 16/04/2011 22:26

I know someone that a double name was 'stolen' (if you want to call it that). It does happen, and it's weird, and bloody annoying. I am hoping the venom you have for her in your descriiption is hormones and being miffed, otherwise it does sound quite unkind.

If I was you. I would pick another name, that you then feel is yours. But I would also rise above it at work. Never mention it again. Yeah, it's bloomin annoying, but it's done. Just get on with enjoying your baby. And let her do the same

gleechie · 16/04/2011 22:41

"...What do you do when your enemy steals you baby name?..." Dear lord i thought i had suddenly reverted back to 12 years old when i read this. Grow up.

bringinghomethebacon · 16/04/2011 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

A1980 · 17/04/2011 00:07

I feel very for Kate.

No one gets sacked lightly for bullying and you need a hell of a lot of proof. So it sounds as if she was bullied. The fact that you and all of your colleauges were forever discussing your baby and names for it while ignoring her re-enforces the fact that all of you are unkind to her. You sound up yourself if you keep updating your colleageus and involve them in the name decision for your baby. I don't give a flying crap what my colleageus name their babies.

She probably did it just to spite you but it's pretty misguided as I cannot beleive you spent so long to choose such a stupid name.

toobreathless · 17/04/2011 01:15

Horrible name anyway!

Grow up, if it bothers you find another name if not use it.

Eliza poppy may?

HipposGoBeserk · 17/04/2011 04:57

Is anyone else idly wishing they had an enemy too? Sounds thrilling!

MollyMurphy · 17/04/2011 05:12

I think Bucharest and several other people's responses are OTT. That IS annoying - I think just about anyone in that situation would find it annoying. What are the chances the woman just pulled that name out of her arse by accident?

In my experience there is an unreasonable weirdly uptight unpopular person in every office and I'm sure Kate plays a big role in why she's not so well respected.

OP that sucks - I would probably not use the same name exactly but come up with a new version using your favorite bits of it. You wouldn't want to remember Kate everytime you thought of your daughters name.

Hope you find a name you can get just as excited about

ItsGrimUpNorth · 17/04/2011 07:27

The op sounds like a real cow herself. Wonder if all her colleagues are breathing a sigh of relief now the endless baby name chatter is over?

exoticfruits · 17/04/2011 07:30

Much better to never tell people names in advance.

catinboots · 17/04/2011 07:43

kaekae I'm sitting here racking my brain trying to think of a surname that rhymes with Florence!

OP get a grip. You sound like a nasty little girl.

mickeylou · 17/04/2011 07:45

Oh dear, personally I would be very disappointed. I wouldn't use the whole name which is lovely because it will look like you have copied it. Particularly with it being all 3 names! My dd is Poppy too. Why don't you stick with Poppy but change the middle name?

I do feel sorry for this lady though if nobody has shown an interest in her baby and only in yours. Its either a case of imitation is the sincerest form of flattery which makes me think she is totally lacking in confidence or she has thought "up you" to everyone who has ignored her pregnancy!

CarefulWithThatAxeEugene · 17/04/2011 09:45

Lawrence

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