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support thread for women who have chosen to terminate III

999 replies

Cantdothisagain · 30/07/2009 18:45

This thread is for any woman who has chosen to terminate a pregnancy for whatever reason. It follows on from

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices/770313-support-thread-for-women-who-have-chosen-to-term inate-II

everyone is welcome, old friends and new.

Hi to everyone from the old thread and hope you find me!

OP posts:
NeedCoffee · 07/09/2009 10:13

Thank you for the nice welcome

Shanggrila-rather than write it all out again, my situation is mainlythis Don't anyone feel they have to read it though

Numpty-yes you're right, it is tomorrow I go for my first assesment/consultation, the letter says I'll be there for 2/3 hours then will have to return at a later date.

Am a bit dozy today after taking some phenergan that was reccommended to someone on MN, took it at tea time and it knocked me out, have slept from about 6 till 7am and its still making me feel shakey and tired, wont be doing that again.

Katiecubs-am thinking of you honey.

busierbee · 07/09/2009 14:28

Katiecubs
Not expecting you to log on today but wanted you to know we are thinking of you and knowing that, whilst today is heartbreaking, life will slowly, slowly get better for you and your family.
Take care and rest
Bee xxxxxxxxxxx

busierbee · 07/09/2009 14:29

And hello to Needcoffee too.
We all need it now and again - sounds like you are going to need support too.
Bee xx

linspins · 07/09/2009 19:21

A little thought for Katiecubs and her little angel. Wishing you soft things around you, warmth and gentleness in the first few days as your body recovers a little. We are all here to hold your hand when you feel up to it. I hope this isn't an inappropriate comment, but it's something I wish someone had said to me after we lost Amy
"You've done a brave and special thing, and I'm sure your little one knows how much her Mummy loves her."

xxxxxxxxxx

Cantdothisagain · 07/09/2009 20:04

Hi Katiecubs, thinking of you. Hope you can rest and find some peace. And Lins is so right - you have done a precious thing for your little angel.

Hi NeedCoffee, sorry you find yourself here too, and good luck for tomorrow! I expect this limbo is really hard for you too - it will be easier when it's all over.

Hi everyone else. Lins I sympathise with the sleep - DD didnt even sleep for a whole hour at once all last night. Boo hiss. I am tired and grumpy. Just wanted to stop by before mainlining some pasta and Sicilian meatballs a la Fay Ripley to say hi to everyone, specially the newbies and our lovely Bee. Oh and relate that I saw an old schoolfriend the other day, bumped into her. She was the year above me at school and had her 19 month old son with her. So she was ripe to be pregnant with number 2. Anyway she is generously sized - size 24 type, probably bigger - and had a swelling tummy and boobs. Cue me staring at her shiftily as we talked trying to decide if she is fecundly pregnant with number 2, no fertility problems, all the assumptions I make when I feel bitter and me-me-me. Eventually I realized that I must have looked so rude peering at her tummy, which she might be self-conscious about (I am about mine). Oh and she wasn't pregnant, just big. I felt very ashamed. What have I become!? A tummy-starer!

OK, dinner calls. More soon. I am thinking of you all lots. xxx

OP posts:
Cantdothisagain · 07/09/2009 20:04

Hi Katiecubs, thinking of you. Hope you can rest and find some peace. And Lins is so right - you have done a precious thing for your little angel.

Hi NeedCoffee, sorry you find yourself here too, and good luck for tomorrow! I expect this limbo is really hard for you too - it will be easier when it's all over.

Hi everyone else. Lins I sympathise with the sleep - DD didnt even sleep for a whole hour at once all last night. Boo hiss. I am tired and grumpy. Just wanted to stop by before mainlining some pasta and Sicilian meatballs a la Fay Ripley to say hi to everyone, specially the newbies and our lovely Bee. Oh and relate that I saw an old schoolfriend the other day, bumped into her. She was the year above me at school and had her 19 month old son with her. So she was ripe to be pregnant with number 2. Anyway she is generously sized - size 24 type, probably bigger - and had a swelling tummy and boobs. Cue me staring at her shiftily as we talked trying to decide if she is fecundly pregnant with number 2, no fertility problems, all the assumptions I make when I feel bitter and me-me-me. Eventually I realized that I must have looked so rude peering at her tummy, which she might be self-conscious about (I am about mine). Oh and she wasn't pregnant, just big. I felt very ashamed. What have I become!? A tummy-starer!

OK, dinner calls. More soon. I am thinking of you all lots. xxx

OP posts:
Cantdothisagain · 07/09/2009 20:04

Hi Katiecubs, thinking of you. Hope you can rest and find some peace. And Lins is so right - you have done a precious thing for your little angel.

Hi NeedCoffee, sorry you find yourself here too, and good luck for tomorrow! I expect this limbo is really hard for you too - it will be easier when it's all over.

Hi everyone else. Lins I sympathise with the sleep - DD didnt even sleep for a whole hour at once all last night. Boo hiss. I am tired and grumpy. Just wanted to stop by before mainlining some pasta and Sicilian meatballs a la Fay Ripley to say hi to everyone, specially the newbies and our lovely Bee. Oh and relate that I saw an old schoolfriend the other day, bumped into her. She was the year above me at school and had her 19 month old son with her. So she was ripe to be pregnant with number 2. Anyway she is generously sized - size 24 type, probably bigger - and had a swelling tummy and boobs. Cue me staring at her shiftily as we talked trying to decide if she is fecundly pregnant with number 2, no fertility problems, all the assumptions I make when I feel bitter and me-me-me. Eventually I realized that I must have looked so rude peering at her tummy, which she might be self-conscious about (I am about mine). Oh and she wasn't pregnant, just big. I felt very ashamed. What have I become!? A tummy-starer!

OK, dinner calls. More soon. I am thinking of you all lots. xxx

OP posts:
Cantdothisagain · 07/09/2009 20:05

Oops. Obviously didnt mean to send my message three times. Am Luddite.

OP posts:
shangrila · 08/09/2009 03:48

Hello Katiecubs - I hope that yesterday was manageable for you and that you are being well looked after as the healing process begins. I too heartily agree with Lins' wise words. Take good care and come and talk, if it helps.

shangrila · 08/09/2009 04:03

Another night of no sleep! I never was a good sleeper but this is now nothing short of ridiculous. The house reeks of lavender oil in a pitiful attempt to take matters into herbal hands. Lins - if you find that that book on getting toddlers off to sleep works, I'll have to take a look and see if I can pick up any tips for myself.

Needcoffee - I am such an idiot, I missed your initial link, so sorry. I hope that today isn't too traumatic for you and that you have good support from DP - such a tough time for you both. Look after yourself in the next few days.

Mishta - hope all went to plan today/yesterday(?) My world clock is just as rubbish as my body clock at the moment!

And Bee - hope you're doing ok.

Love and best to all xxxx

Mishta · 08/09/2009 06:57

Oh poor Shangrila, I hope you are asleep by now - although it is probably nearly time for you to get up anyway! My scan went really well, meant to post thus morning before work but was running late. I was told my placenta was low-lying 3 weeks ago, but the sonographer yesterday said it was in the perfect position - said things couldn't be better. I had convinced myself beforehand that I wasn't worried, but I was SO relieved when it was all over - realise now I was very stressed over it. 19 weeks and 3 days - only thing that could make me feel better would be to magically erase the pain of those going through hard times right now. But we all know too well that's impossible - hope everyone is going as well as can be expected. Thinking of you all xxx

katiecubs · 08/09/2009 10:59

Hi Girls ? thank you so much for your kind words and for thinking about me yesterday, it was very sweet.
Mishta ? Great news on the scan, really pleased for you!
Can?t do/Lins ? I hope the little ones sleep better tonight! (Lins, your comment inappropriate?! Not at all, it was most beautiful THANKYOU!!)
Shangrila ? I hope YOU sleep better tonight  have you tried nytols? They work quite well for me
Bee/Need Coffee ? I hope you are both doing ok ? thinking of you
Just about, Numpty, Bezzy ? thanks for your kind words
The experience was not so bad as I had imagined. I was brought straight through to my bed where my OH was allowed to wait with me until they came to get me. Knowing our time left with our little girl was short there were many tears but at least they were not shared with a whole waiting room. The worst part was when they took me through to surgery I went to sleep sobbing and woke up the same way too ? the nurses were lovely though and even let my OH come through and hold my hand in recovery (normally they don?t allow that).
I got home starving and we had fish and chips followed by doughnuts for tea (was starving by that point as I had not eaten for over 12 hours!). I watched crappy TV all evening and went to bed in nice fresh clean sheet and PJ?s. I really am lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend I have not lifted a finger in weeks now he cooks, he cleans, he cuddles me and cries with me when I need it ? I am blessed in so many ways :-)
Today I?m not in any pain in fact I feel incredibly normal ? that in a sense is what is making me feel sad. I no longer have my little baby inside me. I will be good though I can feel the start of the recovery process happening already ? I had plenty of time sitting and talking to my little girl with my hand on my stomach, saying goodbye. I hope she is happy and understands that I love her and miss her very much.
Thank you so much for allowing me to join your group ? I?ve not told many people of my situation, I?m rubbish at talking about my feelings and I feel this is the place where I can truly talk from my heart. Sometimes I feel like people wouldn?t understand my pain, that they would think I was over reacting ? it?s hard because none of my close friends have children yet and I think it?s very difficult to imagine the close connection you can have with your baby so early on. I don?t think I would have ever imagined someone in my position could feel this way ? just so very, very sad.
I?m rambling on now sorry!! My mum is on her way round to look after me today, the sun is out and despite everything life is good and will get better :-)

Cantdothisagain · 08/09/2009 12:20

Hi Katie

Thank you for telling us the story of yesterday. You coped with such dignity and love. I am sure your little girl knows you loved her. I hope she is with my two little lost girls, and all the other lost children here, and they are taking care of each other. I am glad you feel you can talk here. This is the kind of space where we can say whatever we want, trivial, emotional, heartrending, whatever. And just be, really.

NeedCoffee, hope it has gone okay today. Let us know how it went.

Mishta, hurrah on the scan.

And hello to everyone else. All OK here. Went to a toddler group this morning and a little brat child slapped DD and then pushed her over, for no reason. And then came back and did it again. Her mother was too busy chattering to tell her off, so I had to. Grr...

OP posts:
NumptyMum · 08/09/2009 13:51

at toddler group shinanigans, Cant. I hope your DD is OK and not put off going to the group.

Katie - I'm so glad you had nice staff who were able to give you a bit of privacy and time. It is such a sad, sad time, but a private sadness that you don't want to share with others. So I'm glad you were able to cry in your own space with your OH. I remember having a takeaway afterwards, it felt really odd waiting for it at the Chinese but I couldn't cope with cooking or washing up. I'm glad you've got the support of your mum and your OH, it really helps.

NeedCoffee - hoping your consultation today is OK, thinking of you.

Mishta and Shangrila, glad your scans went well, so much relief after so much fear.

Hope the wakeful toddlers get more sleep tonight and bless their parents with more sleep too.

Hi to everyone else, hope your days are going well. Raining in sheets here... lovely West of Scotland weather.

xx

NeedCoffee · 08/09/2009 15:09

Thank you for the best wishes,

Katiecubs-I'm sorry for what you've been through, I think you are very brave and glad you're being well looked after

Sorry, I'm a bit fuzzy today, just thought I'd pop on and let you know quickly what happened, was there 3 hours, had scan, am 6+6, bloods, bp etc, was in and out with about 5/6 different nurses/doctor, am going for a medical termination starting from tomorrow morning, where I will have the first tablet, need to wait to make sure I don't vomit, after an hour or so I'll be okay to go home, need to return Friday for the second tablet where I may be there for up to 6 hours until I have 'passed' everything, I'm meant to start college on friday, which I hate to miss, and they said I have to have a responible adult with me when I go home, There are no adults, let alone responsible ones that are going to be able to collect me, so I don't know what I'm going to have to do-wait for OH to finish work to collect me I suppose, its all such a mess

Sorry for the me me post, hopefully I will be better at being more supportive to you lovely ladies after this week.

MRSVICTOR · 08/09/2009 17:51

Hello everyone, our decision has been made and here I am, I didn't think it would be this quick but we're starting tomorrow. I haven't found a word I can say out loud or in print so in my head its a 'procedure'. I didn't think it would come to this.
Thank you to the ladies who've supported me this week since the dreaded amnio result, I know some of you are on here with similar stories. Everyone is so brave and has such kind words.
So yes, sedation and procedure tomorrow then I go to the delivery suite on Friday. As this is my first pregnancy i've been told 24-48 hours, that was a big shock. Haven't got my overnight bag sorted yet, maybe Thursday.
Keeping busy helps, house like a new pin not for long though.
Thoughts are with the ladies going through similar this week J x

katiecubs · 08/09/2009 18:00

Welcome Mrs V. So sad you have to be here but you have come to the right place. I've only been here a very short while but the welcome and support i have received is second to none (thank you again ladies).
As you know i didn't have the same procedure as you but i think there are quite a few girls here who should be able to offer you some great advice.
I hope you are doing as well as you can be, my thoughts and with you.
Katie xx

Cantdothisagain · 08/09/2009 18:22

Hi Mrs Victor

so sorry you have had to join us, but I am so glad you found us anyway. You must feel in a horrible, unbelievable limbo - I remember... and I sympathise very much.

How many weeks are you? I have had 2 medically managed terminations, one at 13 weeks, one at 20 weeks. The first one, I went into hospital at 8 am, got the pessaries around 9.30, baby born at 2.30, placenta a while later, left around 7 pm (I fainted and they fussed and made me stay till then, I was dying to go). They had said poss overnight but I didnt need to. The second one, pessaries around 9 am, baby born between 6 and 7pm, eventually escaped from hospital at midnight though they wanted us to stay. Tbh the second was nicer - the first was in a gynae ward, but the second was in the delivery suite, and we had a lovely room like a hotel room (new hospital) with en suite, and lovely sofas. And the second time the midwives were lovely (first time the nurses weren't, specially). I would have stayed but I have a DD and wanted desperately to be with her. I think Linspins on here stayed both times she went through this and valued that, so it mightnt be as horrible as you think.

Though the whole thing is a mare...

Needcoffee - to be honest I should think you will feel okay after it at your stage - I was fine hours later after having it at 13 weeks, so at 7 weeks it should be easier. Hope your OH can come and get you though. How are you feeling?

Hugs to everyone else, specially Katiecubs, so newly in shock.

OP posts:
MRSVICTOR · 08/09/2009 19:45

That doesn't make me feel so bad cantdothisagain, I'm 21 5 so delivery suite for me, they might've said own room. God I hope so, I can be an emotional mare at the best of times. I go to the hosp tomorrow morning, I start the drugs and get the 'procedure' done....back in Friday morning to the delivery suite.
Before all this started I'd never given any thought to the actual birth...and here I am and its happening right now. I'm clueless, less to worry about I suppose.
Dashing off to finish tea for starving family x

Cantdothisagain · 08/09/2009 20:46

Hi Mrs Victor,

What is the procedure they are doing tomorrow? In both my cases, two days before I just had a tablet. Then on the day itself it was pessaries.

I'd like to reassure you a bit about the delivery. I am almost certain you will have your own room - mine was at a corridor-end, and I didn't leave it, so I didn't have to face women in normal labour. And as I said it was a nice room. They brought me hospital food, and cups of tea, at intervals. I wanted to manage without pain relief as I had with the first termination, but I couldn't - I needed diamorphine. It was magic stuff though - I was exhausted and in pain and the drug let me sleep while I got fully dilated. The midwife kept saying look dont try to be a hero, this is bad enough, dont make it harder for yourself. Anyway when I was ready to push it was very quick (and I have never done this before -- DD was by C-section). Plus the baby and placenta all arrived at once, which they didn't with the first termination, so I was spared the waiting around for that.

I wish for you you weren't in this position. I do know how it feels, and I send you lots of hugs. PS - take lots to read; it can take ages for anything to happen - and take snacks in case the food is vile...

OP posts:
Havingkittens · 08/09/2009 20:53

Hello

I've been an occasional lurker since this thread began. Not felt the need to come on before as I have been getting by ok and didn't want to keep churning over my feelings, but I've been feeling a bit down lately as my due date would have been tomorrow. Especially as the friends who were announcing their good news when I was hearing my bad news are all having their babies now.

I met Bee over on the ARC board way back in, hmmm, April I think.

A brief synopsis... had a mmc at 11wks in Nov 07, Tx of Down's Pregnancy April 08, V traumatic Tx of second Down's Pregnancy in Feb 09 when I was sent to the horrible Marie Stopes clinic and had a very upsetting (even more so than it should have been) experience there followed by having to have an additional ERPC at Easter due to a little, em, 'souvenir' left behind.

I've just started trying again and am rather nervous to say the least!

I've mentioned to a couple of friends how I'm feeling this week and in recent weeks because of my due date and have been met with a wall of silence. Granted I did mention it in an email but still, quite strange I think. One of whom is a very close friend and she answered back with a chatty email but completely avoided the 'white elephant'. :-/

I wanted to let Bee know that I sent a loonnng and heartfelt letter to Dr Pandya recounting my awful experience recently and complaining about how my case had been handled this time. A lady called me today and had a chat with me about it. She asked me if I would mind her anonomising my comments to help their case in trying to get women like me seen at the hospital and treated with more care - to which I obviously agreed. She asked me if I wanted to come in and have a chat with Dr Pandya (the head FMU consultant). I told her that the only leftover question I had was the issue of high dose of Folic Acid preventing Down's Sydrome. Dr Pandya called me this afternoon and explained that there was not a huge amount of proof that this was a successful course of prevention but that there were some cases where women did have a genetic predisposition to having difficulty processing Folic Acid. He agreed that because I had now had two Dwon's pregnancies he has agreed to write to my Doctor and recommend a prescription for me.

Still crapping myself though!

linspins · 08/09/2009 21:00

Oh MrsVictor, so sad for you. I don't know your story or situation - if it helps to share with us then do..
It's crap isn't it, and that's an understatement. I hate the word termination. I think from your post that you are going to give birth? how many weeks are you? The whole 48 hr wait is a bit of a shock but your body needs to get itself ready. I lost my first baby in 2004, and because this was my first I was so unprepared, in every way imaginable. The hospital were kind and caring but it was a scary and awful time because I knew nothing about what was coming and how it would feel and what to do. Heartbreakingly I had a second termination this March, having had a healthy pregnancy in between (she's almost 3 now). Because I had been through both labour and a termination before, I knew what to expect and where to turn for support etc, and it made such a huge difference. So if I can be any help at all to you, please ask, because I wish Mumsnet had been here for me first time round.

Ok, just got back from reading your own thread. Never heard of that particular chromosomal abnormality, but my first baby had an unusual (unknown) one, and I know other ladies who have had problems where there are only a handful of cases worldwide. You poor hun.

With the actual delivery, you'll be allowed whatever drugs you like, so don't be shy asking for pain relief. You have as much right/need as any Mum at full term. There are things you can ask tomorrow when you go in, to help smooth the journey on Friday. Ask exactly where you'll need to go, if you'll have your own room, who will be expecting you: find out their name and if poss say hello tomorrow so there is a familiar face. It's crap turning up and having to explain, when all you want to do is crumble, so make sure they tell you what you need to know.
Ask what pain relief is offered, and also who will be with you when you deliver. Some hospitals have a 'hands off' approach, where they leave you in peace unless you specifically require something, until you are ready to deliver - however some people find this feels like they have been abandoned! Ask how often you will be checked upon and maybe roughly how dilated they expect you to get before it all happens.
I know it may feel like you want to rush home afterwards for home comforts, but staying in isn't necessarily a bad thing - it gives you a chance to come to terms a little with what your body has been through, and feel medically 'looked after'. It also gives you a moment to take it all in, and say goodbye at a pace you can take. My husband has been allowed to stay both times, in my room, on his own bed, and fed too! Ask what their policy is on letting partners stay over.
I can write more about seeing and holding your little baby, but I don't want to overwhelm you all at once. If you feel up to it, spend some time tonight stroking your tummy and telling your baby whatever you need to say. I have talked to mine, tears streaming down my face, but needed the chance to do this.
I wrote to katiecubs recently that you might want a photo or two of you pregnant, as a keepsake of a real little life. Creating tangible evidence of their presence can be important for afterwards.
I could go on but have been writing this message on and off for an hour and probably ought to check in on real life for a moment.
HUGE hugs for tomorrow, you will be ok, and you will get through this. Lots of hand holding here. xxxxxxx

NumptyMum · 08/09/2009 21:33

Oh MrsVictor, I'm so sorry you're here to join us, and facing this all so soon and suddenly. It is quite incredible, quite stupefying, how quickly your whole life changes from one week - happily pregnant - to the next - in tears, facing the end of that pregnancy. I think the only comfort is to know that others are here too to hold your hand, offer support and reassurance. And also knowing that you are settled with your decision, and have taken all the time you need.

I lost my DD earlier this summer at 15 weeks, induced delivery (she actually died in the 2 weeks between CVS and our termination date). Linspins gave me some very good practical info about what to expect, if you want to read it look about half way down this page. My own experience was that I was on labour ward (high dependency ie the one with medical equipment handy in case GA required), but in a room separated from Mums giving birth at full term. Having said that, one thing DH had to face which he hadn't been prepared for was the lift of happy new Dads on their way back and forth from new babies... a bit difficult for him. It was a nice room, they had tried to make it homely and comfortable. My midwife was absolutely lovely, very thoughtful. We'd gone on the Saturday for the miffy pill, I had a show on Sunday, and on Monday I was given one further pill and waters broke etc after about 4 hours. However my DD was very small (hadn't grown much over 12/13 weeks) and also I have a 2yo DS so my body has been through labour before. Delivery was quick because of this. The placenta was more of a problem, they put a time limit on it appearing before suggesting further intervention. But it came.

Some things that I found very helpful:
Knowing how and when things happen, both with delivery and also what happens afterwards in terms of your little one. It is hard to talk about this with staff, but harder still to deal with it on the day if you're not prepared for it (they will probably need you to sign forms).
I rang and spoke to the hospital chaplain beforehand, she came in the morning to talk with us and after DD was born, once the placenta had arrived, she came and blessed DD.
It sounds odd, but you will be waiting around for a while before anything starts to happen. Having something to read or listen to, if you feel like it, helps.
You probably won't be allowed to eat anything, in case GA required, so do have something before you go in.
Similar to if you are in labour, make sure you empty your bladder regularly - it was only after my bladder was emptied that the placenta finally came (sorry if TMI).
On the advice of others here, I got two very small cuddly toys, one of which I left at the hospital with DD and one which I have at home. We also had a lovely cardi that belonged to DS to wrap her in (the cardi was very much bigger than she, something to wrap in is best).

I'm sorry if this long post is overwhelming. I hope things will be peaceful for you over the next few days.

linspins · 08/09/2009 21:53

MrsVictor, Numpty has written you lots of stuff I didn't add yet (well done Numpty). There is much that can be done around this time that will mean so much to you later on, months or years down the line.
My first baby was delivered at almost 22 weeks, so I was in much the same position as you. Hope this is ok to mention but have you thought about whether you would like to name your baby?
I am sure you will have heard about ARC now - they have practical advice to give parents in your/our situation as well as being there for you should you need emotional support.
Enough for tonight. I will be willing you the smoothest of days tomorrow, and hope that you are treated with sympathy and respect. I do remember how it feels like the ground beneath your feet has been pulled away when life throws this at you. More hugs. Lins xxx

Mishta · 09/09/2009 01:23

MrsVictor, just wanted to say thinking of you today. I think reading experiences of the other girls is really helpful. Thought I would share mine, hope you might get something from it, though feel free to ignore it if you'd rather. I actually think it might help me too, just the writing down of it, as I have never shared it before.

I terminated for T21 in may last year, at almost 18 weeks, so went thru labour. It was all over within 24 hours. Was in a private labour room, had the first pessary at 8am (the first was the hardest, as I knew it meant no turning back), and another two thru the day. Water broke about 8pm. Two labour rooms away, a work colleague and his wife were having their first baby, and I could hear her calling out in pain. This wasn't as upsetting as it sounds, cause it was their first and I was just happy for them (pethidine helped!). Went into a pethidine-induced sleep, waking to occasional contractions. At about midnight, had sudden urge to use loo. As I walked across, felt the baby move down - sat on toilet as it was the closest thing. Lucky some clever midwife had put a pan in the toilet earlier, cause as soon as I sat down, out he came. Hubby called midwives, they came, wrapped him in a tiny blanket and gave him to us to hold. Very emotional, though strangely calm time (again, pethidine helped). So glad of that time though. Unfortunately the placenta didn't want to come out, and by morning was bleeding pretty heavily so has to go to theatre to have it removed. Left the hospital that afternoon. They gave me photos of the baby, a name card, his footprints and handprints and a small gorgeous Teddy bear. I bawled my eyes out at their thoughtfulness. My partner stayed with me throughout ( except when I had to go to theatre of course). Lights were dimmed and music played. In all I was very 'pleased' (for want of a better
word) at how it went. It was a very peaceful time and I felt so cared for. I'm sure you will be treated just as kindly. Not sure if you will have to request hand and footprints or if they will just do them anyway. As for the photos, that is such a personal choice - my little boy certainly didn't look like a cuddly little newborn, but I am glad I've got them as it reminds me that he really was real and was here. Anyway, will be thinking of you over the next days xx

katiecubs, Having kittens, Needcoffee, thinking if you all too - would address you individually but have rambled enough.
And Bee, you are quiet, hope you are okay. Hugs to you all xx