To ask how the frick I am pregnant?

[Arachnophobic]

I had a copper coil fitted in 2012 after Ds2 was born. Has worked well for us until I smelled a rat this week and my worst fears were confirmed when I found out I was pregnant

I am so annoyed at having to go through this and an inevitable termination - I would have so loved three in an ideal world but DH and I know that the financial and emotional burden would be too overwhelming, so as far as that's concerned, the decision has been made.

Has anyone else experienced or been through this?

[differentnameforthis]

sebsmummy1 As I said before, that is NOT the op's fault or problem right now.

Miscarrying is hard, horrible, heartbreaking, whatever you want to call it.
Not being able to get pregnant is hard, horrible, heartbreaking etc.

Being pregnant when you want to be is hard, horrible & heartbreaking etc.

It's not a competition. This is not about who is suffering more.

And you can't ask the op to be aware of every single poster on here who may be facing any of the above.

[sebsmummy1]

OP decided to post in a flippant manner about a sensitive subject, on a Parenting Board mainly populated by Mothers, in an area of the board that is knowingly contentious. Yet we must clutch at our pearls that some people feel a little upset.

I'm not sure if anyone else bothers to customise their viewing, but I spent some time making sure that certain sections were hidden from view so I didn't read any triggering titles.

I feel a bit stronger now so I'm more pissed off than likely to throw myself off a tall building. I just wanted to say that I thought it was insensitive. But there you go. Who gives a shit.

[differentnameforthis]

Being pregnant when you don't want to be is hard, horrible & heartbreaking etc.

[5madthings]

the op hasnt been flippant at all.

and now who is being flippant "more pissed off than likely to throw myself off a tall building"" ffs.

the thread has the word preg in the title. its an aibu about pregnancy. given you are sensitive about pregnancy you didnt have to click and read the thread.

sorry but no-one had made you the thread police. this is the www and you may see stuff you dont want.

infertility/miscarriage etc is awful but so is being pregnant when you dont want to be and havimg to face a termination.

[sweetkitty]

For us another pregnancy would be a disaster (I'm very ill when pregnant) I getting too old and have 4 DCs as it is.

We are going "double Dutch or belt and braces" DP booked in for a vasectomy and I'm on the POP, if I couldn't take the pull I would be sterilised as well that's how sure I am of not wanting another.

I personally couldn't have an abortion if I were to become pregnant again hence doing everything I can to make sure it doesn't happen.

But I support a woman's right to have an abortion on demand if she doesn't want to be pregnant.

OP sorry your in this predicament, not a nice place to be.

[aGirlDownUnder1]

Hello OP, I can't offer you any advice but I would just like to say please ignore these horrible comments. Good luck x

[LoopyDoopyDoo]

You knew it would upset some people. That's not nice. Did you want to upset people?

"I posted here as there is more traffic, and in doing so knew that some may get upset. Not a problem, they're entitled to their views."

[MothratheMighty]

Perhaps a warning in the title that it might be triggering for some?
Because I wasn't expecting the OP to be so flippant, but at least if you are annoyed and have already made the decision, it should be easier for you than someone who might have had more worries and doubts about what to do.
I think Kitti may be hurting.
You have a plan.
You are sure.
Good luck.

[hokhoihioh]

I think you need to get this moved OP.

I'm sorry for your situation, and I'm pro choice, but your matter of fact tone and firm decidedness with regards to the termination and situation took my breath away for a second (though realise is how I've interpreted it and not necessarily true).

Good luck, hope all goes well

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I read the matter of fact tone as someone who is on a situation where she has no choice

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

In not on

[Dawndonnaagain]

I hope all goes well for you OP.

Regarding posting on the web etc. The same rules apply as do to television, if you don't like it, change rooms, turn it off. You don't have to say anything at all, so as many of us say to our children, if you have nothing nice to say to someone who is having to make a distressing decision, then don't say anything.

[Sallystyle]

I fell pregnant on the coil.

It was in place and everything. They removed it and told me I would likely miscarry.

She is 5 years old now.

I booked in for a termination but changed my mind at the last minute.

It is almost as close as sterilisation so I understand the shock. It was an awful time for me.

Please go check it isn't ectopic ASAP.

If you do by any chance change your mind and go ahead with the pregnancy you need the coil removed ASAP. There is a much higher chance of miscarrying for the first 12 weeks but if you don;'t remove it the chances of prem birth and even still birth increases a lot.


BTW I am not trying to change your mind, just giving you that information incase you do or others find themselves in this situation. If I was to get pregnant now I would have to terminate, no doubt about it.

I am really sorry you are in this position. Best wishes to you and I hope you find lots of support through this.

[differentnameforthis]

Shall we stop discussing how it is in the wrong place (op has acknowledged that) and start offering op advice? Or if we can;t offer op advice, hide the thread & read something else?

To turn a support thread into a thread about the rights & wrongs of posting in a certain place is not really in the spirit of MN, is it?

I would be surprised if the op comes back now, all the support has been overtaken by petty fighting!

[VampyreofTimeandMemory]

god, how awful. I've heard about this happening but didn't realise it actually DID, if you know what I mean, what a nightmare situation - hope it goes okay for you.

[MothratheMighty]

Dawndonna, the title doesn't give much of a clue, and by the time you've read the OP, you can't unread it. For everyone that's posted here, there may well be a couple of hundred who read the OP, didn't respond but who are shocked and in tears.
It doesn't invalidate the OP's practical response to a problem, but I was expecting something exasperated and more light-hearted from the title.
If there is a section for terminations, the thread could be moved.

[MothratheMighty]

What advice does she need?
Get it checked out to see if the pregnancy is ectopic
Get coil removed
Have termination, OH books in for the snip.
Resume sexual relationship with a heightened awareness and reduced risk.

[fancyanotherfez]

The OP has said she would have loved another child in an ideal world, but it's not an ideal world! She's not being forced into having a termination, she is not presumably having a termination because she can't afford 3 lots of piano lessons, she is having one because it is not an ideal world, and never will be. The mother and existing family takes priority over a foetus morally and in law. The OP has her existing family to consider. She doesn't sound flippant at all!

[Sallystyle]

I don't see why it should be removed or changed.

Every thread here has the ability to upset someone.

I might get upset when I read threads about people moaning about their fathers when I don't have one for example. Or people moaning about normal childhood behaviour when mine have special needs.

I am sure most of us have read threads here that have upset us for one reason or another. This is no different.

The OP might have got better support if she posted it elsewhere but it is done now.

[VampyreofTimeandMemory]

I've had a termination and it just makes me feel all the worse for OP. I understand it's upsetting but not offensive. I think the title makes her situation clear enough that if you don't want to risk reading about a solution to an unplanned pregnancy, don't click on it.

[CointreauVersial]

I am a failed coil (back in the 1960s married women didn't get terminations).

These things happen.

I hope you can deal with it in the best way for you and your family, OP.

[Back2Basics]

OP I recently terminated my third pregnancy. I couldn't financially have another let alone emotionally. I wanted to give the two I already have my time energy and money.

I'm not saying it was easy I've cried and cried tbh and I was quite pragmatic until it was done. But realistically it would of impacted to much on my dc and I chose to put them first. I don't regret it although I wish things could of been different to at the same time.

[Stockhausen]

Hope it's all resolved soon OP

I have the mirena coil & getting pregnant would be a disaster.

I say that as someone who went through hell trying to have a baby, including two losses. So it's all relative.

[Back2Basics]

Oh and there are so many POAS threads that are in chat and AIBU I fail to see the difference for people TTC in those threads and this for upsetting wise.

I have no idea why people open up threads they know will hurt and offend them.