Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 4

[NatzCNL]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to concieve after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
Linspins ? Franklin 22/01/10
Shangrila ? baby boy 01/02/10
Can'tdothisagain ? Babycan't 12/04/10
Katerina100 ? baby boy 06/10
NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
Allstarsprincess ? Frank 30/07/10
Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
GinaFB ? Alexander 03/01/11
LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
Coffeeandchocolate ? Coffeebean 22/02/11
Rushingrachel ? Oliver 02/03/11
Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
Lisbeth Salander - baby boy 7/11
Stormbird ? George 24/07/11
Sarahmia ? baby girl 25/07/11
Eavers ? Jacob 11/08/11
Grandj ? Eliot 01/09/11
Babylily ? Miles 05/09/11
NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
Cherrybug ? Kade 02/11/11
Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12

[LittlePoot]

Oh lovey. It is great you have your family round you to help, although like scampi, I did kind of need us to be on our own too. The waiting is awful. I'm afraid it doesn't get any better once you've had the pills either but not much longer then you can start to rebuild. One thing I do remember doing is eating all those things you're not allowed to have when you're pregnant. Seafood, runny eggs, blue cheese-the lot. The situation was just so out of control, it was my attempt at rebellion I guess. A bit of light relief. X

[manitz]

littlepoot i went to a dinner party and i couldn't drink even though I knew I was having a termination on the monday. Strange isn't it. I think you are right. once it has happened you can rebuild. x

[StormBird]

Thank you so much ladies.......I can't express how much your posts are helping me to get through this. The advice and experiences are really heling me to come to terms with the inevitable.

I'm back at the hospital tomorrow so I shall update you all when I get back

[LittlePoot]

Hey stormbird. Hope you're bearing up ok. Thinking of you. X

[StormBird]

Hi ladies......there's news........it turns out that the consultant gave me misleading information last friday (apparently cos he's new to the hospital) and after consulting with the Midwife Counsellor this morning we ARE able to go ahead with a surgical termination. The only set back is that we will have to wait until friday which I am quite happy to do under the circumstances.

I admire you all for being strong enough to go through the Medical Termination but I do not feel that I could cope with this emotionally.

So in a twisted sense, today I felt 'happier' and much more comfortable about the inevitable.

My mum and my sister are coming down tomorrow afternoon to help out with George as DP's mum has to go back to work on Wednesday.

So we are back to playing the waiting game..........

[LittlePoot]

Oh that's good. It wasn't a case of me being strong enough though-there was just no choice at our hospital. I had the surgical procedure for my later missed miscarriage and it was fine. Easier all round, but then the circumstances were different too. I wish you didn't have to wait all week, but glad it's a bit easier for you. X

[scampidoodle]

I'm glad you're able have the procedure you want - such a shame you had to go through all the additional worry for a whole weekend. I hope the waiting isn't too awful for you. x

[StormBird]

Sorry littlepoot* and everyone else. I hope I didn't offend you with my comment about being strong enough when It hadn't even crossed my mind that some just don't have a choice. I've been a little bit self-obsessed over the past few days!

Thank you again for all your support and I hope everyone is well xxx

[LittlePoot]

Not at all offended sweetie, don't worry. I just meant to explain that I want strong either and didn't see how I could make it through the medical procedure. But somehow we all make it through all this crap don't we? Although in your position, it's probably hard to remember that you really can make it through. Hope ds is helping the week pass a bit less slowly for you. x

[manitz]

hi, we are much stronger in retrospect, have to keep remembering how awful it was at the time, now had time to deal with it. i didn't have a choice either but you make the best out of what you get. good luck with the rest of the week x

[LittlePoot]

Thinking of you for today stormbird. Hope all goes . x

[StormBird]

Hello ladies, all went very well today - it was a surprisingly pleasant day, for want of a better word!

Went in at 7am and got home at 7pm. We've grieved all week and a little this morning and this afternoon we felt relief.

We have an appointment in a few weeks with the consultant and may be reffered for genetic counselling - has anyone had this before? What does it entail?

We will be heading for the downs again in the next week with our lanterns to say goodbye.......but we're ready to move on now

Hope you are all well xxx

[scampidoodle]

Glad that it went ok and it's becoming a bit easier.
Your lanterns sound like a lovely way to say goodbye - I think these things help. x

[manitz]

I felt relief as well. the waiting is the hardest part and making the decision and finding out there is a problem...

genetic counselling for us was finding out it was just one of those things and a rough idea of chances of it happening again. I have read many similar things on here. Not particularly illuminating I'm afraid. It was just a meeting with a geneticist. PS had ups and downs following termination so expect a bit of a rollercoaster. the bad days became less frequent over time but as scampidoodle says glad it went ok. x

[Katiecubs]

Oh Stormbird i'm so so sorry you have had to go through this twice. Sorry also for my very late message, i hope you dodn't think me rude, but i have been on holiday for a week and just logged on to check up on you.

I don't really know what to say, other than it's just so totally unfair. It sounds like you are being incredibly brave though and i don't want to drag it all up again when as you say you have done your grieving and are feeling some relief.

re. genetic councelling - i did have this but like manitz said they just told us it was one of those things. I was sort of helpful to hear it officially even though we already knew that anyway.

I'm so glad friday was as ok for you as it could have been and agree the lanterns sound like the perfect way to say goodbye. Thinking of you all xxx

[LittlePoot]

Hello all. Things have gone very quiet around here so I wanted to see how everyone is doing? Katie, scampi and blacktreacle-how are you getting on? Can't be much longer until the scans? Hope you're all doing ok? Kittens-I'm assuming no news is not good news at all. Hope you're ok. And you stormbird-hope you're getting through. xx

[Coffeeandchocolate]

Hello everyone, I hope everyone is ok. Stormbird, I am so sorry you had to go through this again... I am glad you had support in here, but it's so unfair that you needed it.

I've been very busy and didn't have a chance to post. I don't like to come in here and not write any personals, but please excuse me this time, I'm just checking in. All is well with us, Coffeeboy is 17 months and does NOT sit still for one minute. I don't need an alarm clock anymore as he is waking us up at 5.30am, 6am is a lie-in now. I feel very tired but very happy at the same time, and I still feel like I live in a bubble, despite work being manic and having to juggle a million things.

Katie, I don't think I told you Congratulations before, it must be so exciting but so tiring at the same time. Are you feeling anxious this time? I would love another DC, not for a while yet, but still the thought of another pregnancy terrifies me.

Kittens, still thinking of you X

Hello to everyone else, and keeping everything crossed for the upcoming scans.

[scampidoodle]

Hello to everyone. Hope you're doing ok, Stormbird.

My scan's on Mon 30th, which will be 13 weeks. I didn't go to the doctor's till after 9 weeks and was a bit shocked that she got me in to see the midwife the next day. For some reason I found the booking appointment really emotional and was in a state for the rest of the day. No idea what I'll be like on Monday... Does anyone know, if I explain a bit to the person doing the scan, will they tell me straight away if everything looks ok or not? I remember last time she just spent ages looking and not saying anything at all, then getting other people in (who also didn't say anything to us) and I don't think I can stand that again... I'm sure with DS the person doing the scan and the midwife (it was in a midwife unit, in a different area) were both talking to us and showing us stuff from the word go.

[LittlePoot]

Oh scampi, you sound like I was. I was pretty much a gibbering wreck by the time they called me in for my scan and I did exactly that and told the consultant I needed to know exactly what was going on. They were really helpful and supportive, so I would definitely recommend you make it very clear how you feel. Will be keeping my fingers tightly crossed for Monday. x

[katiecubs]

Hello poot/coffee/scampi!

Hope you are all ok. Funnily i have my scan on monday the 30th too so really hoping it is a lucky day for the both of us scampi. I will actually be just under 11 weeks as they went by my LMP and i have long/irregular cycles but i figured i would rather have an earlier one and then go back for the full test. i had an early scan at 7+5 too and i can now get the heartbeat on a doppler at home - gives me some peace of mind but obviously i don't know if anything else is wrong.

I have good days and bad days with the worry, i am trying to be optimistic but at the same time very scared of the upcoming scan. I know i'm lucky though - i have friends who are having serious problems concieving and at least if i get bad news i seem to be able (so far) to get pg easily. I really can't imagine how horribly unfair it would be to get bad news at a scan after years of trying and IVF.

Coffee i think i have said it before but coffeeboy sounds just like Felix, sometimes i wish he had an off switch ;) there has been one update lately though - he has started to like TV!! fireman sam in particular and will sit still for a whole couple of episodes - it's a real revalation! The rest of the day he still spends bouncing off the walls though.

Much love to Stormbird if you are reading xxx

[scampidoodle]

Little Poot, thanks for the reassurance - I'll definitely say something before the scan.
Hope your scan goes well Katiecubs. I'm trying not to think about it all too much (easier said than done) but I think I'll be in a state by Monday. At least I feel much more prepared this time and aware of what they could find (we were totally unprepared for anything untoward last time and I just wanted to know if they'd found a heartbeat). Good luck for Monday. x

[Cantdothisagain]

Hello everyone, sorry I've been missing. I am so sorry to hear your news, Stormbird. I too have been through this twice and I know how crushing the second time feels. I did however go on and have a second healthy daughter and I am sure you will get there too - early days though; be kind to yourself.

Scampidoodle, I didn't need to say anything - the consultant could see it in my face and was very good at saying things straight away. I had the screen turned off initially too. But in case your consultant is less sensitive than mine, do say something. And good good luck on Monday- and Katie too! I know how scary it is-but it's also a good hurdle to cross.

Kittens, I've been thinking about you; this has to be your year. You've been so stoic. I don't know where you are at with it all but I send you much strength and hope.

Hi to Poot, Coffee, Manitz, Natz, and everyone else! Coffeeboy 17 months?! Babycant is now very much LittleMissCant just like her big sister. She sings, never stops talking, and now likes to correct me ('no mummy, Incy Wincey Spider isnt your favourite, Little Miss Muffet is your favourite') and choose her own clothes ('I dont like this dress! I want the spotty one!') and looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, all blonde hair and blue eyes.

No real news from here. It's been more than three years since our second termination. Sometimes it feels like a dream (I know that sounds terrible). But I still feel my heart in my mouth when scans are mentioned.

I do think of you all a lot, even in absentia. This will always feel like a home of sorts for me. Thank you for that. And a final GOOD LUCK for the scans next week!

[LittlePoot]

Just a fleeting visit-good luck for the scans tomorrow Katie and scampi. Will be thinking of you. xxxx

[scampidoodle]

Thanks for your comments and good luck wishes. Katiecubs - how are you doing? Hope all goes well. x

[katiecubs]

Thank you all!

Scampi - feeling really nervous this morning - you? Just want to get it over with now but it's not till 3.05pm. Ahhh.

Wishing you the best of luck too xxx