Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 4

[NatzCNL]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to concieve after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
Linspins ? Franklin 22/01/10
Shangrila ? baby boy 01/02/10
Can'tdothisagain ? Babycan't 12/04/10
Katerina100 ? baby boy 06/10
NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
Allstarsprincess ? Frank 30/07/10
Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
GinaFB ? Alexander 03/01/11
LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
Coffeeandchocolate ? Coffeebean 22/02/11
Rushingrachel ? Oliver 02/03/11
Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
Lisbeth Salander - baby boy 7/11
Stormbird ? George 24/07/11
Sarahmia ? baby girl 25/07/11
Eavers ? Jacob 11/08/11
Grandj ? Eliot 01/09/11
Babylily ? Miles 05/09/11
NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
Cherrybug ? Kade 02/11/11
Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12

Hello everyone,

So sorry for not stopping by in so long.

Corazon if you are still reading i just wanted to say i was so sorry to hear your news. It's terribly unfair but nothing you did so please don't blame yourself. thinking of you.

Hello Briarosy and congratulations! Sorry it has been so quiet on here and you have not received much of a welcome. When do you have your scan or have you now had it? Am keeping everything crossed for you. I am currently 32 weeks with my 3rd pregnancy (1st was a termination for incompatible with life). I am a bit more relaxed now but those early weeks are terrible aren't they.

Coffee - hi. So sorry you are feeling down. Have you thought about trying some counselling? It really does sound like you need to talk about Silvia some more. What does your DH think? For myself i have reached acceptance of what happened and so find it a little difficult to offer you good advise but i totally agree with what Can't say's. Please don't let yourself feel guilty.

I hope everyone else if well and looking forward to Christmas. i hope you all have a lovely one and a great New Year! xxxx

P.S i don't think we ever agreed on a date for the meet did we?!

Hi katiecubs and thanks for the message. Hopefully not much activity on here means fewer sad stories!

I was meant to go for an early scan today but cancelled it. If it was good news it might raise my hopes before the nuchal scan, and bad news would just ruin Xmas, so I'm waiting for the big scan on 17th, fingers crossed.

Anyway congrats on your pregnancy, and great to hear you've had a healthy DC after a termination, very reassuring!

Sounds sensible Briarrosy! I did have an early scan this time but although it reasures you everything is ok for the time being, after a couple of days you are just worrying about it all again so i don't actually think there is that much point.

Not too long to wait till the 17th anyway - it will fly by with Christmas and NY and of course your lovely holiday! Have a super time and let us know how it goes :)

We are off on epic journey up country tomorrow, not sure how we are going to fit everything in the car, or how it will work out with Hannah, who is now 2 months old!

So just popping in to wish everyone a peaceful christmas, and best wishes for 2013. Hope all bumps and babies are doing well. xx

Ah Flower 2 months already!! Hopefully Hannah will just sleep and it will be a breeze :)

Happy Christmas to you too x

Hello Ladies, just popping in here to say that I am thinking of you all, and your little ones, and wishing you all a happy Christmas. My 'thread baby' will be 3 in Jan - where does the time go? He's lovely (and out at the moment!) Still have many moments of sadness at my two angels that I lost, but my two dc's keep me busy! Love to you all, old timers and new faces. Linspins. xxxx

A very happy and hope-filled New Year to one and all on this thread.

I had written a really long post and then a slip of the mouse saw it disappear, so I'll just say for the moment that Coffee, I am so sorry to hear you're feeling that way, and I have some of those feelings too, being in a limbo-land of grief and not always knowing what I'm grieving for. When you write about Silvia, I often think of Shakespeare's "Silvia" - the words seem very fitting.

Lots of good thoughts to everyone, especially those who've joined in recently. You will find nothing but compassion and understanding here.

Re the meet-up, I hope people are still keen. I will go back though the thread and put together some suggested dates.

Happy New Year to you all! Sorry for the long absence, it has been non-stop at our house. Chrstmas came and went so quick and now t's 2013 already??!
Welcome Brairrosy, and congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope Christmas & NY have been a good distraction for you and I wish you all the very best for the 17th
Corazon m thinking of you and hope too xx

Coffee, sorry you have been feeling down, I think Katie's suggestion of counselling is a good idea. I went to a rememberance service before Christmas at the church linked to the hospital that Cara was under, they hold a rememberance service for lost babies each year. It was so comforting and so heartbreaking at the same time. The faces and names read out are becoming quite familiar to me now. But sadly, new names keep coming with each year.

My midwife was at this years one and we spoke about Cara and also Sienna as I took her with me this year. Very sadly, my neighbour joined the service this year after terminating for T21 in the summer just gone.
Although I feel at peace with what has passed, I need to have time to remember Cara and talk about her. Maybe you need more time too.
Kittens - 23 weeks! It's going so fast (not for you maybe). I hope you are enjoying the 2nd trimester and getting lots of nudges and kicks from baby

Sorry for not mentioning all, I hope you are all well and I wish you all a very happy 2013! I am hoping that this year will see a miracle in our family as DH's mum was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer at the begining of 2012, so it's been a very emotional year. She is on her second lot of chemo as the first lot which lasted over 4 months kicked the cancer down by 50%, as soon as the chemo stopped the cancer began to increase again. This time the chemo is very aggressive and she has been very ill with it, so we made the most of Christmas with her this year. Just in case. DH is staying very positive and talks about next christmas. I am trying to keep him grounded but dont want to destroy his hope.

On a brighter note, Sienna is now a very cheeky 15 month old and is just adorable. The older 2 are still in love with her although she has got to the not sharing stage already, so there are a few tantrums here and there when she runs off with their toy and mean mummy takes it back. Quite funny as I know this doesn't last forever, and am enjoying each stage as she is our last baby, so making the most of each age and stage.

I am still keen to meet up, will look out for the dates. Also changing my name back as I get confused when I see this screen name - lol!

Natz/Gruffalo xx

Sorry for that poor post, my keyboard is on its way out!

Sorry to hear about your MIL, Natz (I never could quite picture you as Gruffalo!). She sounds very strong to have made it this far. Fingers crossed for her.

We didn't get very far into discussing dates for a January meet-up, but what I have so far is:

12 or 13

Yes
?
Maybe
?
No
ghislaine

19 or 20

Yes
Manitz, ghislaine, kittens

Maybe
Katiecubs, subject to pregnancy progress
No
?

26 or 27

Yes
Manitz, kittens
Maybe
Katiecubs, subject to pregnancy progress
ghislaine (I need a babysitter but should be ok to come)
No
?

Just a brief stop-by to say Happy New Year. 2013 is clearly going to be Kitten's year, although she may need to graduate into a cat.....

Anyone here who is currently struggling with early pregnancy/TTC after termination, warmest thoughts to you.

And hello to everyone else. No chance of making a meet up as we are too far away but I am jealous. Lins- can your boy really be nearly 3? I guess he can as Babycan't will be three in a few months. Not so small.

Here's to a happy and healthy 2013.

Hello all and Happy New Year to everyone!

Firstly hello to all those who have recently joined. I dont get the chance to post much these days but often lurk and think of everyone on here. Kittens am always glad to log on and see all is going well with you. I hope Christmas was ok for you. I know missing those we have lost is felt more acutely at this time of year. So great to hear you are now 23 weeks and I'm sure, blooming!

Natz - glad to hear all good with you. Sienna sounds like Kade - always wants what his sister has, much to her annoyance. He is a handful at the moment, into everything and especially anything hazardous! But adorable and like you I'm savouring each stage as he is our last baby too.

Flower - hello and hope you enjoyed Hannahs first Christmas!

Katie - how far are you now?

Coffee - hope you are ok and had a good Christmas.

Hi to Ghislaine, Manitz, and everyone else. I wish I could join the meet up but being in Scotland it's just not possible.

Finally a warm welcome to new thread members and I hope that 2013 is a great year for you - healing and positive. There is lots of support here.

Cherry x

Hello hello lovely ladies all. So nice to see new pregnancies and the progress of the slightly less new ones (Katie - you must almost be hitting the waddling stage? Hope your hips are holding out this time....). Sorry not to have replied about the meet up yet - I can do 12 or 13th or 26th and 27th. I'm afraid I'm in Vienna the weekend in between. Where is everyone coming from? Would it be completely impossible to meet in Brighton instead if we go for the end of the month, to save our Katie's pelvic girdle?!? Maybe too much of a trek, but worth a thought?

Corazon - I'm so sorry I didn't see your message any sooner. Kittens is absolutely right though - I also miscarried my first pregnancy after my termination then got pregnant again on the cycle plus one after and he's almost 2 now and snoring away upstairs. I do remember how desperate I felt after the m/c though, so I hope you're doing ok. In some ways it hit me even harder than the termination, because I suddenly had this fear that it would never go right. For me though, things very quickly did go right. Kittens however had a couple (or so) more false starts, but somehow stayed sane through it all and is now living proof that there is light at the end, however long the tunnel might be. I hope you can at least take some comfort from that and hope to see you back here panicking about scans soon.

Have to go - will check in to hear what gets decided about a meet up. xxxx

Oops-got my dates the wrong way round. I can do the weekend of the 19th but am away the weekend of the 26th. Memory of a goldfish.... xx

Hi everyone. Happy New Year!

Coffee, I'm sorry you've been feeling low. I agree, it may be helpful to go for counseling. I have been having bereavement counseling since April and have found it immensely helpful. I started going because of my mum but I've also found it helpful in dealing with all my pregnancy losses and keeping myself calm during this pregnancy.

Great to hear from you Linspins. Wow, I can't believe your little one is 3, and BabyCant is also approaching that age too.

Natz, sorry to hear about your MIL. Cancer is a bitch, as is Chemo. I hope her treatment is successful.

Thanks for your thoughts Cherry. It's great that your hands are too full these days to post much. I guess that will be the same for me in a few months!

I went to MIL's last night and we came home with a whole pile of stuff that OH's brother had saved for us. Buggies, Car seat, Moses basket, clothes etc. So, it's all suddenly starting to feel a lot more real!

Thanks for getting the dates back up Ghislaine and Poot. I can probably do most weekends apart from 12th. All somewhat dependent on how my granny is doing as she's in a pretty bad way and I'm back and forth to Sussex quite a lot at the moment. On this basis, I may be able to get to Brighton though if anyone else is up for that.

Hello and Happy New Year to you all! Hope you had lovely Christmasses too.

Lins how lovely to hear from you! Franklin - 3 wow! The first thread baby - how far we have come :)

Cherry/Littlepoot - yes am getting to the waddling stage now. 34 weeks! I have a bad back/SPD so finding running round after the little guy quite difficult. I don't understand how the putting your feet up bit is supposed to work when you have a very active toddler?!?! hmm.

Kittens glad you are doing well and it's all starting to sink in. Did you find out the sex or keep it a suprise? My guess is a girl (based on absolutely nothing).

Does it sound like the weekend of the 19th is the most likely for meet up so far? I am free that weekend and will deffo come up so long as i think i can move that far - don't worry about trying to come down here if it's a pain, there are alot more of you so don't want to put people out.

Much love to all xxx

Hello Katie-do I remember correctly that its your birthday this weekend? If so, happy birthday! If not, have a lovely weekend anyway!!

I think you're right that the 19th and 20th weekend seems to suit the most people. Arsenal are at home to Chelsea on the Sunday, so I think Saturday 19th would bee the more sensible option. Can we have a show of hands please? Then we should probably go back to private messaging to arrange the exact time and place like last time, just in case....

Katie-would you come in to Victoria or London bridge on the train? We could try and find somewhere very close to one of those so you don't have to waddle fight on public transport? There's quite a lot near both I think-easy chain sort of places-so should be easy to do.

Who fancies it then? All welcome-new and old, waddling or not......

Hi everyone :) Have been meaning to pop in and wish you all a Merry Christmas/Happy New Year, but haven't seemed to have a spare moment lately. I haven't caught up on the thread, just flipped it and read the last page, so I apologise for lack of personals.
I did catch up last time I was on (banned myself from the entire Mumsnet quite a while ago as trying to be more productive in 'real life' - Mumsnet is a superb way to procrastinate), but can't remember if I even got around to posting in the end. I do remember you were all chatting about a meet-up though, and being highly envious! If I didn't already say it, I'll say it now - I would so love to join you all. (It's a shame you can't go either Cant) I want to see Kittens belly :) I also can't believe how far along Katie is! So glad all is going well.
It's almost midnight here, DH is home, Bella (can't believe she's almost 3) is asleep and the two teens are out for the night, so I better go give DH some rare attention. If you think it's hard to get time alone when they're babies/toddlers/young children, wait until they're teenagers - nigh impossible. Think of you all often, and will check in again soon
Mishtabel xx

So, the 19th it is then? Coming would be me, Katiecubs, Poot, Kittens and Manitz. Anyone else?

We should start PMing to sort out a time and place.

Happy Belated Birthday to Katiecubs!!

I'm 50/50 about 19th now. I just got a birthday card from an old friend who lives in Cumbria (not seen him for a few years because of the distance) saying that he and his OH are down that weekend and that if they get any spare time away from the in-laws he'd like to catch up. I suspect they won't know until much closer to the time and there's still a good chance it won't clash so maybe just carry on with arrangements and I'll keep you posted.

Katie, do we share the same birthday? Mine's today.

Happy Birthday to Kittens!!!

Ladies, check your inboxes. Anyone who's keen to come, please post here or PM me.

Hello everyone!

Poot yes it was my birthday last Saturday - the 5th Kittens so not so far apart! It's a rubbish time for a birthday i think - just after new year when everyone feels like hibernating/detoxing.

Mishtabel - lovely to hear from you! Hope you had a lovely Christmas/New year too. Bella is nearly 3 too wow, i guess Felix is nearly 2.5 though - how time flies :)

Will check inbox now re. meet xx

Well, the snow messed up our trains and plans for a meet up so we're back to the drawing board looking for a new date. Shall we start with February and March, given that kittens is due in early April? Who'd like to start?

Corazon-are you still around? How are you getting on? Hope everyone else is well too. Lovely to hear from you Mishtabel although it is unbelievable Bella's 3 already! Xx

That's a shame about the meet! I have no plans from Feb going forwards (for obvious reasons!) so will def try and attend depending on how things pan out....Prob earlier on in Feb or later on in March is more likely for me but just decide on what works best for everyone else and i will try my bestest x

I'm fairly flexible apart from 14,15 & 24 Feb I think, as those are my NCT classes.