Fetal reduction - twins to singleton

[mostlyhappy2010]

Hello,
I know that this may seem offensive to some, and I apologise in advance for this: I am desperate for some advice: I am 7 weeks pregnant with twins (non-identical). After 2 weeks on an emotional rollercoaster, I have decided that I cannot cope with twins due to health, emotional, practical, financial reasons. I am considering fetal reduction.
There seems to be very little information about fetal reduction from twins to a singleton. The doctors seem to default to termination of both. Has anyone got experience with fetal reduction in the UK? Where do I go for more information, either NHS or private?
Any information would be very useful. Thanks a million!

(Please do not post judgement: it has been a difficult decision, and it still is a difficult time).

YourChoice, would you like to provide true statistics on some of your points? I'm thinking the divorce and poverty ones in particular. Also, if a child of a multiple birth has no issues or learning difficulties, I disagree that they are less likely to do well academically. Your stats come from the US, not the UK and are scaremongering. They are from higher order multiples, rather than twins.

Whilst twins are a higher risk pregnancy, it is not a massive risk.

TheVisitor - actually they came off the TAMBA website.

ter behaved than many single toons I know (inculding myDS hwo is 8 months youhMostlyhappy - My mum and step dad concieved when they were 35 with an 11 year gap between my brother and the baby.

In the early stages of her pregnancy my mum thought there was something wrong with the baby so went for an early scan at 5 weeks and it turned out there wer 2 of them. She was shell shocked and kept saying she could'nt cope with twins so decided that like she would abort one fetus.

When they spoke to the consultant about it they said that although it can be done if there is a possible threat to the mothers mental or physical health or the baby they don't advise it as it can resut in the loss of both children and if thye did go through with it they would have to see a counsellor as the remaining child would act as a constant reminder which can be daunting.

Anyway in the end they chose not to and I now have 2 lovely little ID twin sisters now aged 5.6YO, who although challenging for the first few months are better behaved than any singleton I know inculding my DS who is 8 months younger, as they always have a playmate and yes they do fight but realistically are not that much worse.

So please try not to just think about now as hard as it may seem, yes there will be times when it does seem like twice the work but on the whole it is at parts easier and for twice the trouble you also get twice the love and fun! :)

If you do decide to do it, make sure you speak your consultant and find out what kind of aftercare you can get and how to minimise the risks to the remaining baby.

She asked specific questions about reduction that she thought some people on this board might have some experience with. I can see how this may not have been the best board for it, though as another poster said - it's hard to see where may have been better.

None of the posters here saying it would be better to have the twins have made the decision to have a reduction and come to regret it (as they are implying the OP will). I seem to be the only one who has mentioned actually having a reduction. I don't regret it.

How does anybody find out they have twins at only 5 weeks pregnant?

Link, please. Remember that 89% of statistics are made up.

I have not made a judgement on whether or not she should go ahead, just that she should be carefully counselled.

d'you know, though, YourChoice- in your shoes I would have considered doing the same as you. Very seriously. Who knows whether I'd have gone through with it? I don't.

But as I say- most of us here have twins, like the OP. And don't regret it. It's difficult not to imagine, on reading the OPs post, what it would have been like to have just one of those twins. You can't read it- with existing twins- without getting some pretty grim resonances.

Twin mums aren't the people to ask, imo.

OP- do contact TAMBA if you want to speak to an impartial counsellor. I bet the'll have come across your dilemma before. Best of luck to you xx

Tamba: poverty, divorce increase. Other stats probably out of the pdf that page links to, but loads too slowly for me to check.

I saw a friend's 4 week scan & could barely see a thing (she had to be checked frequently whilst ttc due to non-pg compatible meds), so am very impressed that a 5 week scan would differentiate that well. And very few people have 5 week scans, anyway.

ragged pretty common, afaik- I had a 5 week scan with my twins, due to spotting. My SIL had one at 6 for the same reason

Ragged my mum had a very kind midwife and because she had literally worked herself into a frenzy about there being something very wrong they gave her an early scan at 5 weeks.

You could see 2 small blobs which at first were thought to be annomilies (is that the word I don't know ) so it was re-checked and they could define 2 'beans' as they put it.

Damn thing won't load. I'm always sceptical of these studies as they are usually just a small study group. The majority of twin and triplet parents I know are fine, and whilst we're certainly not well off, my triplets are well cared for and well nourished. I've had them for 12 whole years.

YourChoice

Your statements are entirely opinion based and not supported by any clinical or statistical evidence of any sort. I personally find your point of view not only wrong but incredibly selfish and patronising. Fertility is a gift, not a management issue.

Statistics are a crappy argument in this situation.

They don't refer to the OP's emotional state, physical health or financial state all they rely on is other people's circumstance's which may mean nothing to her and certainly don't help!

I know so many people irl who didn't discover they were having twins until 12 or 20 week scans, or more likely, not until the birth in the case of my relatives.

Ragged it's not normal practice to have a scan before 12 weeks AFAIK so if they did'nt have any issues then they may not have had the chance to find out before then.

Anyway why does it matter so much to you?

This is what has happened in the OP's case so there is no need to question it.

Probably best finding a private consultant as this type of procedure requires a lot more skill and equipment than a normal termination.

Or go back to the US because people use 'foetal' here.

I don't see how what I asked gave anybody a hard time compared to say, what Expat just said...
Ah, but that's alright. Privileges of MN royalty and all that.

ragged i think the hcg levels are often a clue in this - many women still have a blood test to confirm pregnancy (esepcially if ivf involved) which gives hcg levels, very high levels often (although not always) indicate a multiple pregnancy, as this would be done around 4-5 week mark.

FWIW I knew I was having twins at 6 weeks.

As someone who was expecting twins and lost one I would advise you to take as much time as you can to talk to as many people as you can.

My son has had problems because of the loss of his twin. That is something you have to think about.

Which decision could you live with more terminating a pregnancy or having the twins and the hard work that comes with that? Also, don't forget the joy that comes with having two babies together.

Ragged I posted before Expat... so nothing to do with MN royalty , it's not the fact you asked it's the fact that you seem to be continually doubting it.

Expat I would have said Fetal too, could just be a typo I don't really see how the OP's nationality is relevant.

I found out I was having twins at five weeks. I paid privately for a scan as I suspected twins having previously had twins.