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Antenatal tests

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Original poster

To have a termination

55 replies

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:21

I am posting this here because I want you all to flame me and tell me what a fuck up I am.

Last month I suspected I was pregnant and even though I started bleeding I tested and it was + but because of the bleeding I assumed I'd miscarried. This month my period hasn't arrived so I tested again and its still +.

I have suffered with serious MH issues in the past that have put me in hosptial and there is no way me or dh can cope with another baby.

The idea of an abortion is terrifying but I don't know what else I can do.

OP posts:

TattyDevine · 25/01/2011 12:22

See your doc, they will get you some counselling and you can help make your decision (or act on it) from there.

You are not a fuck-up, you are a human being.

Mephit · 25/01/2011 12:22

TrillianAstra · 25/01/2011 12:23

YANBU at all to have a termination if that's what would be best for you.

Why would you want flaming?

Original poster

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:24

because I am ashamed

OP posts:

Original poster

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:25

and because what I am going to do is awful

OP posts:

iPaddle · 25/01/2011 12:25

You're not a fuck-up at all.

Termination is a perfectly valid choice if you dont want to, or dont feel you can, have a baby.

Original poster

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:25

and because I love my baby but it would kill me to have another

OP posts:

Greythorne · 25/01/2011 12:26

There is nothing unreasonable about a termination of an unwanted prregnancy.

Learn from the experience and take necessary przcautions to avoid a repeat unwanted pregnancy.

Many, many people make mistakes.

Mephit · 25/01/2011 12:27

Oops, pressed the wrong thing.

No, you're not a fuck-up, if a pregnancy now is the wrong thing for you & your family, then it's for the best. Just be kind to yourself.

Greythorne · 25/01/2011 12:27

If it was your 16th termination, then you would still not be unreasonable to have one. you would be very, very unreasonable to have got pregnant.

HettyAmaretti · 25/01/2011 12:27

Don't be ashamed. You don't deserve flaming, you deserve love and the support you need to make the decision that's right for you and your family.

Please see your GP as soon as possible.

iPaddle · 25/01/2011 12:27

Look, no-one is going to flame you.

If you are sure you dont want to continue the pregnancy then stop trying to torture yourself - get it sorted, you'll be fine.

Original poster

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:28

I lost a baby years ago and I was gutted, how can I then live with myself having a termination

OP posts:

sunchild77 · 25/01/2011 12:28

You need to talk to someone, to get help to make the right decision for you. MN is not the place! Because there are those who will say YABU. But they are not you and don't know your situation.

You are not a fuck up, these things happen sadly. Please go and talk to your Dr.

YANBU

thefurryone · 25/01/2011 12:29

I hope no one chooses to flame you or tell you what a fuck up you are because really that's not their place, you are just a person facing a difficult situation who doesn't know what to do for the best.

As you are considering a termination then I would suggest that you need to speak to a professional about this in RL, either your GP or perhaps an organisation such as Marie Stopes. I would do this sooner rather than later as the longer you leave it the more complicated the termination proceedure becomes medically.

Only you and your DH can decide on the course of action that is best for you in these circumstances but getting some impartial advice can help you decide what the best thing to do is.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 25/01/2011 12:31

Go to your gp. The internet is not the best place for you to try to work through this.

Original poster

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:32

But I want people to flame me. I want to be told I am a selfish bitch.

OP posts:

KaraStarbuckThrace · 25/01/2011 12:32

Please get this thread deleted, you do not deserve a flaming. You need to speak to a counsellor who can help you come to terms with this decision.

I did a quick google and came up with Care Confidential they have a freephone telephone number and they offer unplanned pregnancy and abortion couselling.

Give them a ring.

AnnieLobeseder · 25/01/2011 12:34

dasos - you have posted on another thread that you are suffern from PND and daily wish you were dead.

If you're stuggling so much with so many problems and depression too, please, please, please see your GP and get help as soon as you can.

You need help.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 25/01/2011 12:35

ok. you're a selfish bitch.

Now, how did that help you?

It didn't.

You need help. And the internet can't provide that for you.

That is not to say that people here are uncaring. It is because we care that people are saying you need RL help and support.

You clearly need to see your gp and get help. Your desire to be insulted is not rational.

sunchild77 · 25/01/2011 12:36

Dasos - There are complete bitches out there (In life)

But people who have terminations are not selfish bitches just for that reason.

This is not a place to beat yourself up, please go and talk to someone about what is going on.

HettyAmaretti · 25/01/2011 12:37

dasos - do you want to be flamed and called a 'selfish bitch' because, actually, you just want to have the baby?

Please ask to have this moved to MH or somewhere safe. As I said, you need love and support to make the decision that's right for you and your family.

Have you told your DP? Please, please, just go and see your GP.

PlanetLizard · 25/01/2011 12:39

YANBU. Please take care and find some support.

www.mariestopes.org.uk

Arion · 25/01/2011 12:39

You definitely need to talk to someone professional as you need to decide what is best for you, what you can live with. I had termination 14 years ago, reactive depression, came as close as sitting on bed with all the pills I could find in the house. Still regret the circumstances I was in at the time that I couldn't keep it but also know that it was the right decision. Was hard again when DD was born and actually had a child to relate to. Only you can decide what is right for you as you have to live with the result, talk as much as you can though and get as much support as you can to make this decision. I feel for you and am sending hugs (hope you don't mind).

Original poster

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:40

I do want my baby but I nearly killed myself after my last baby was born I was so ill. I can't put my family through all that again. Its not fair on my children.

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