To have a termination

[dasos]

I am posting this here because I want you all to flame me and tell me what a fuck up I am.

Last month I suspected I was pregnant and even though I started bleeding I tested and it was + but because of the bleeding I assumed I'd miscarried. This month my period hasn't arrived so I tested again and its still +.

I have suffered with serious MH issues in the past that have put me in hosptial and there is no way me or dh can cope with another baby.

The idea of an abortion is terrifying but I don't know what else I can do.

[pascoe28]

OP - why do you feel that you deserve to be flamed? Is that what you actually want? Do you feel so bad about this that you deserve criticism?

I think it's a pretty safe bet that no-one here is going to flame you, not least because we know so little about this whole episode. The only person with all the facts - and with the 'right' to judge you is you.

If you are feeling guilty, awkward or unsure about this then these feelings should encourage you to think long and hard - both about your reasons for thinking the way you do...but also for the course of action you are considering.

For proper, non-judgemental discussion about your feelings on this, or anything else that may be on your mind, I wholeheartedly recommend you give Samaritans a call.

08457 90 90 90

[dasos]

Swaliswan, thanks for that link. I will hvae a look.

[dasos]

Thanks Helen

[dasos]

I have had 3 children. My depression has got worse with each one.

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

Thank you Helen.

[Condensedmilkaddict]

This pregnancy may not be the same as the last...You sound so unsure.

Don't do anything you will regret.

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello. We're going to move this thread now to Antenatal tests/choices topic.

[Swaliswan]

Just to let you know that care confidential don't just offer counselling about unplanned pregnancy, they also offer post-abortion counselling if you decide to go down that route. You may find it helpful.

[bubbleymummy]

dasos, I agree with ChippingIn - this doesn't really sound like you don't want the baby. More that you are scared of your feelings and what happened last time (and is still going on). There is support available to you if you do decide to go ahead with the pregnancy. Discuss ALL the options with your doctor and definitely get a referral to a consultant. You are going to need counselling either way so you need to really explore how you feel and make sure you make the right decision for you - one that you will be able to cope with long term.

[frgr]

Reported. This really doesn't belong on AIBU, you are a human being who clearly needs some support and guidance. You won't find the level you need on here.

Wishing you the best of luck, whatever you decide :)

[dasos]

Thank you x

[Vallhala]

Reported for you too. I hope that you get the help you need to make the decision which is right for you - and if it is termination there is no flaming coming from here and imho no reason for you to feel guilty.

Wishing you all the best, whatever choice you make.

[dasos]

Thank you chippingIn

[ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak]

Reported to MNHQ & asked them to move it x

[ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak]

You don't want a termination, you just don't want to feel like you did last time or like you do now (with or without another baby). Please get a referral to a consultant who can help you a lot more than your GP. You need better meds and you need counselling.

What you don't need is flaming x

[dasos]

can somebody please report this to mnhq and get them to move it?

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Another person who urges you to visit your GP. If terminating the pregnancy is the right thing for you, it is the right thing for you.
Don't invite flamings and abuse, that will make you feel worse.
Now, go and pick up the phone.

[RMCW]

I can understand you being "gutted" dasos Good luck x

[littleducks]

Aibu really isn't an appropriate place for this thread, maybe ask MNHQ to move it, there is a testing/choices forum

And then some real life counselling

[RMCW]

You dont have to be awake if you dont want to.

They can sedate you.

Go and talk over the options with your GP

[dasos]

I am going to go the my GP in the morning. If i ring up at 8am I should be able to get a same day appointment. fucking gutted.

[RMCW]

Please dont be ashamed.

Go and see your GP.

Do it now.

xxxx

[dasos]

Fabby, is it just like having a smear, do you have to stay awake?

[swanandduck]

You really don't sound as if you want a termination.Don't do something that will cause you so much upset. Talk to someone and explore all of the options.

[bubbleymummy]

dasos, you definitely need to speak to someone about this. As difficult as it may be for you to cope with another baby - how would the termination affect you? If you are already feeling guilty and ashamed for even considering this then how will you feel if you go through with it? You need to make sure you are 100% sure about whatever decision you make. There are other options available if you do not want to keep the baby if you do not feel that you could cope with a termination you may find something like adoption a better option for you. Please get some real life support as soon as you can and discuss all the options.