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MNHQ have commented on this thread

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MNHQ have commented on this thread

Antenatal tests

To have a termination

55 replies

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:21

I am posting this here because I want you all to flame me and tell me what a fuck up I am.

Last month I suspected I was pregnant and even though I started bleeding I tested and it was + but because of the bleeding I assumed I'd miscarried. This month my period hasn't arrived so I tested again and its still +.

I have suffered with serious MH issues in the past that have put me in hosptial and there is no way me or dh can cope with another baby.

The idea of an abortion is terrifying but I don't know what else I can do.

OP posts:

Report

AnnieLobeseder · 25/01/2011 12:41

dasos, get help! If you want this baby, and you love your other child, please seek medical help for your depression, and be the best mum you can be to both your children.

Termination is not the answer to your mental health issues. Treatment is.

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:41

Annie, I am still taking medication for PND. I was so ill that they have said I will need to take it for a few years. I barely keep my head above water at the moment. Another baby would finish me off.

OP posts:

Arion · 25/01/2011 12:41

Also, as other posters have said, get this moved to another forum, you don't deserve any abuse, you need support and understanding.

TattyDevine · 25/01/2011 12:42

Are you sure another baby would "kill" you?

This is something you will end up discussing as part of counselling preceeding a termination anyway from what I'm told.

But is there really no way you can have this baby?

I'm not asking because I think you shouldn't have one, I'm asking because I think you dont want one.

You dont have to answer by the way (obviously) but try and ask yourself.

You probably should get this thread moved, because (hopefully) nobody is going to flame you like you think you want and you might get better advice elsewhere?

FabbyChic · 25/01/2011 12:43

Please don't be ashamed, sometimes we have to make decisions that go against what we believe in because it is for the better.

You are as you say not mentally prepared to have another child and it would cause you distress.

Make an appointment with your doctor, time is now of the essence.

Talk to them, they will help you make the right decision for you.

It is not a painful procedure and you will only require to be hospitalised for a few hours.

Remember that whatever decision you make you have made it for the better good of your life, not because you are selfish, not because of outside pressure.

Good luck, my thoughts are with you.

bubbleymummy · 25/01/2011 12:44

dasos, you definitely need to speak to someone about this. As difficult as it may be for you to cope with another baby - how would the termination affect you? If you are already feeling guilty and ashamed for even considering this then how will you feel if you go through with it? You need to make sure you are 100% sure about whatever decision you make. There are other options available if you do not want to keep the baby if you do not feel that you could cope with a termination you may find something like adoption a better option for you. Please get some real life support as soon as you can and discuss all the options.

swanandduck · 25/01/2011 12:44

You really don't sound as if you want a termination.Don't do something that will cause you so much upset. Talk to someone and explore all of the options.

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:44

Fabby, is it just like having a smear, do you have to stay awake?

OP posts:

RMCW · 25/01/2011 12:44

Please dont be ashamed.

Go and see your GP.

Do it now.

xxxx

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:45

I am going to go the my GP in the morning. If i ring up at 8am I should be able to get a same day appointment. fucking gutted.

OP posts:

RMCW · 25/01/2011 12:46

You dont have to be awake if you dont want to.

They can sedate you.

Go and talk over the options with your GP

littleducks · 25/01/2011 12:46

Aibu really isn't an appropriate place for this thread, maybe ask MNHQ to move it, there is a testing/choices forum

And then some real life counselling

RMCW · 25/01/2011 12:47

I can understand you being "gutted" dasos Good luck x

kreecherlivesupstairs · 25/01/2011 12:47

Another person who urges you to visit your GP. If terminating the pregnancy is the right thing for you, it is the right thing for you.
Don't invite flamings and abuse, that will make you feel worse.
Now, go and pick up the phone.

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:48

can somebody please report this to mnhq and get them to move it?

OP posts:

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 25/01/2011 12:49

You don't want a termination, you just don't want to feel like you did last time or like you do now (with or without another baby). Please get a referral to a consultant who can help you a lot more than your GP. You need better meds and you need counselling.

What you don't need is flaming x

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 25/01/2011 12:49

Reported to MNHQ & asked them to move it x

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:50

Thank you chippingIn

OP posts:

Vallhala · 25/01/2011 12:51

Reported for you too. I hope that you get the help you need to make the decision which is right for you - and if it is termination there is no flaming coming from here and imho no reason for you to feel guilty.

Wishing you all the best, whatever choice you make.

dasos · 25/01/2011 12:52

Thank you x

OP posts:

frgr · 25/01/2011 12:54

Reported. This really doesn't belong on AIBU, you are a human being who clearly needs some support and guidance. You won't find the level you need on here.

Wishing you the best of luck, whatever you decide :)

bubbleymummy · 25/01/2011 12:54

dasos, I agree with ChippingIn - this doesn't really sound like you don't want the baby. More that you are scared of your feelings and what happened last time (and is still going on). There is support available to you if you do decide to go ahead with the pregnancy. Discuss ALL the options with your doctor and definitely get a referral to a consultant. You are going to need counselling either way so you need to really explore how you feel and make sure you make the right decision for you - one that you will be able to cope with long term.

Swaliswan · 25/01/2011 12:57

Just to let you know that care confidential don't just offer counselling about unplanned pregnancy, they also offer post-abortion counselling if you decide to go down that route. You may find it helpful.

HelenMumsnet · 25/01/2011 12:59

Hello. We're going to move this thread now to Antenatal tests/choices topic.

Condensedmilkaddict · 25/01/2011 12:59

This pregnancy may not be the same as the last...You sound so unsure.

Don't do anything you will regret.

Flip

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