Hi all,
I've just joined mumsnet and this is my first post. I'm looking for some support/advice.
I think I may have PND- or at least I thought I did until reading some much worse accounts here.
I've been struggling for weeks and in denial but tonight I finally spoke to DH about how I'm feeling. I can't stop crying- anything or nothing sets me off. I can't bear to get out of bed in the morning. I have a constant feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I feel guilty about everything- giving my son formula top ups because he's too hungry makes me feel like a failure. I can barely leave the house. The thought of meeting people and speaking to them is making me feel physically sick. I keep making plans and cancelling them at the last minute as I can't face it.
DH wants me to speak to health visitor who will be here this week for DS 6 week check. I don't want to as I feel I'll look like a bad mother. I love both my sons and wouldn't want anyone thinking otherwise. I would never harm my children.
I had to go out yesterday to drop my car off somewhere. I felt so sick and anxious. I had a fleeting thought just turn it into a wall. This scared me that I could even think like that hence why I've spoken to DH about my feelings. I haven't told him about that though as he'd worry even more.
I don't know if I'm even looking for a reply. I just feels better to get it off my chest. Reading my post back, I'm wondering if most of my feelings are just down to being sleep deprived and hormonal?