Does anyone regret having children

[Rightdecision1]

I'm 7 weeks pregnant and not one bit excited. I hate how being pregnant makes me feel, how it makes me look. I work with children as a nanny and love what I do. Therefore knowing exactly what we have got ourselves in for. People say it will be different when its your own but I really don't believe them. Please don't think im a shitty person for asking this question but am I going to regret this?
My husband also is unsure though I think deep down he likes the idea. He is a very busy person always of on work trips here and there. I don't want to have to do this on my own and god forbid there is something wrong with it. I really don't think I could handle it. We have no family close by to help out. So would have to rely on day care and nannies etc.

I'm 35 and tought that I really wanted this but as time has gone on my thoughts have really changed. I don't want to let anyone down family husband etc as there super excited but I really don't think my hearts in this and if I did go ahead and do it I may be doing it for the wrong reasons.
Please help me!!!

[Dackyduddles]

I did go through an absolute panic with dd2 that I'd ruined our family, made a dreadful mistake, we were meant to be 2 not 3. I couldn't picture anything. It was black when I tried.

Bloody terrified doesn't come close. However I've not felt that since she's appeared. I have frustration at lots of needs and balancing them all but no exact 'I wish you weren't here' thoughts. See GP. It could be pregnancy depression. It does exist.

[PeriodFeatures]

nom I'm sorry that you had a rubbish time. Glad you are feeling better now.

I am watching myself like a hawk and will talk about my feelings with my midwife if it gets too much. Hormones are absolute bitches. I think after having depression I can recognise what is chemical and what is my own stuff. DH came home with a box of grapes, sweets and a cabanos today! I don't know why but i cried! I have also vomited and slept and am generaly feeling weird. Going with it though, good days and bad days and being realistic is important. rowtunda point taken. The money thing will sort itself out I'm sure. DH will see my role differently when DC is born, and maybe so will I.

It's o.k to acknowledge it's hard though.

[Cjilly]

Thank you for this thread. I'm pregnant with DC2 and I've felt nothing but miserable this pregnancy. I'm 12 weeks and I had my dating scan on Wednesday, instead of being excited to see her move, I felt sad at the thought of being a mother of 2. I had to pretend to look interested but I just wanted to get out, go home and cry into my pillow.

no one knows how I feel and this is the first time I've confessed to feeling like this. I really wanted another baby but this pregnancy is so horrible that I can't bear the thought of continuing one more day!

I'll stop here before I say something I'll forever regret

[Cjilly]

I said 'her' .. how odd.

[Sparklyboots]

When I realised I was pregnant for the second time, I cried. I thought that we'd made a dreadful mistake, was gutted for DS, panicked about my career, etc. I am rubbish at being pregnant, too; I don't glow so much as glower. For weeks, I was pretty sure it was all a dreadful disaster, but tried to hold it together.

I did get used to the idea, and thought we could manage, even if nothing was as good as it had been. However, I was convinced it was a mistake.

Then she was born. And she's so, so, so fucking lovely, a single smile is well enough to make the fact that the three of us have had to budge up, make room, rearrange. I can't believe I thought we were complete without her. It was' t a big rush of love when she was born. It was more like, I agreed with myself to get through the pregnancy, and survive the new born sleepless nights and witching hours. So I just focused on that, but since she was there the whole way through, and I couldn't help falling in love with way she embodies loving acceptance, it feels like somehow we're a team because we survived that doubt, guilt and fear together. All my disaster panic, couldn't account for.the fact of her. I couldn't regret her; she just is, and that's that; and it's not that I love her, she just is love; it wasn't a mistake, it's just what happened; and this is the life I have, and I love, love, love my children.

[apprenticemamma]

sparkly your post was so beautifully articulated. Currently feeling all those doubts too and have been depressed and tearful (dc2 due in march).

[purrpurr]

Sparkly, that's beautiful.

I posted on this thread when my DD was 9 weeks. She's now 19 weeks and things are so much better. I think it took me about 4 months to get used to my new life as a parent with a totally dependent little creature. Now I couldn't imagine life without her, she's amazing.