Note from MNHQ: please note OP's post @ 19.08 on 22 Jan. The OP has admitted this is a reverse but we are leaving this thread up so they continue to receive advice. Inheritance money - AIBU to be p*ssed off?

What happens if the FIL dies , regarding the children he’s bringing up.
I hope the FIL has a will now. Otherwise he’s learnt nothing from last time.

This sister grew up calling this man dad . This is how deep that bond went. Trying to get her own mother inheritance back off her as she's dying herself

He's already got the kids 50% of the money to use, why would he need more??

Maybe he doesn't need more but thinks the aunt should make a contribution to raising them financially as she can't physically. We don't know the aunts finances, does she need the money? legally she's entitled to it but if she is wealthy already should she morally contribute to her nephews care?

He was already having to pay the bills for the home he lives in, that hasn't changed for having the children.

why would bills not change? I definitely use more heating & water since having dc.

What could the kids need in terms of food and clothing that could come to more than that 50%

Perhaps more than just food and clothing.

He will be entitled to child benefit to contribute to this, and if he is really struggling (which it doesn't sound like he is) he can get tax credits to top up his income.

I guess our circumstances are all different but it would be a huge change for my dc to have to get by on CB & tax credits. Is there anything wrong with wanting more for them?

Had the daughters brother been alive their mothers estate would have been split 50/50 between the two of them and fil would have got nothing. Legally fil is still entitled to nothing, the fact that the daughter has essentially given him her brothers half to help with covering the cost of his childrens up bringing was very kind of her and is far more than she was obligated to do. Your fil sounds greedy, he should never have been expecting to receive anything and should be bloody grateful he got 50%. I understand he may be struggling with the cost of raising two children unexpectedly and its good of him to have taken on that responsibility but he needs to be seeing what help he can get from the system not expecting the daughter to fund it.

@MuthaHubbard I don't have an issue with the money being in trust but I think it's ok for the FIL to access that trust to raise the dc.

And what if there was no pot of money - he would have to get on with it, as would anyone taking on these poor DC.

The point as I said is he doesn't have to take them on does he?

It’s also quite interesting that FIL, who kept 50% in his divorce, is a poor penniless man…

Yet his dying step-daughter, who has the remains of the other 50%, is rich and if she handed over all the money the children could be well looked after…

Three ring would you think the children are better off in the care system and ful is old.
What happen to them when he goes?

No, as I said I concede he's doing a good thing in having the children but it is their money, he's not put it in trust as he should have and he should be documenting every single expense and where he is spending their money. He's not doing this, he's taken that money himself and is hassling a terminally ill aunt for the other half of the money. It's outrageous and shows his true colours.

Exactly. Fil got half but it’s not much. His ex wife had half and it was an amazing amount the Op feels she didnt deserve. And in the divorce the fil kept anything he had from before the marriage. So actually got more than 50% in the divorce.

and now the daughter has a quarter of the assets that were counted in the divorce and that’s an amount so big it’s worth trying to strong arm her out of it and so much it will make the difference between being able to raise the kids and not raise the kids.

But the (more than) half fil got in the divorce and the half of his ex wife’s estate, isn’t enough. Whilst also being a lot when other people have it.

The point as I said is he doesn't have to take them on does he?

He doesn’t. The fact that he does doesn’t make him entitled to money that should be theirs though. It’s not a quid pro quo swap

The 50% returned is a fair act of good will. I think they should be grateful for that and move on.
Your post shows the importance of making wills especially when blended families or step children are involved.
I wouldn't let this frustrate you further, legally it's above board so there is little point souring the situation any more.

Where has all his money gone?
The money should be kept in trust for the children with trustees over seeing what it is used on.
He should not have the other 50% it is not his legally or morally.
Why are you so invested? Are you hoping to get the it all when FIL dies?

Let's just hope the aunt is now sensible enough to leave her money in trust for the children now she knows what a greedy, grasping lot the rest of the family are.

Has the aunt contributed anything to the nephews that wasn't legally theirs? Why are we assuming she is going to leave her 50% to them when she dies?

No he doesn’t. But he took them on expecting to revive his ex wife’s full estate.

If he had known it was only half, would he have done?

Him taking them on doesn’t mean he did it their best interests. And he isn’t acting in their best interests now.

Complete nonsense. If it is in trust for then the Trustees can release for maintenance and education. Basically sounds like FIL just wants what he THINKS is his money back. It ceased being his on divorce. He should be grateful that his ex's daughter has handed anything over let alone the 50%. She is clearly trying to right by nephew and niece but actually should have paid it to them in trust rather than her ex step dad

What will happen when the step daughter dies of terminal cancer? Does she have her son family? I missed that part.
If she doesn’t have her won family, maybe she’d pass on her assets to her nieces and nephews?
Did the parents who both died have any assets, houses for example?

It's not your Father in Law's money. It was his second wife's money. Your FIL isn't owed anything.

Own family not son family.

Who got the brothers estate when he died? as next of kin his children should have inherited that, has it gone into trust for them or has fil also had money from the brothers estate to cover the cost of the children?

If she got cash in lieu of the house, and he's still in the house, it's quite possible that the bulk of his assets are illiquid.

He's provided a lot to this family over the years and now instead of enjoying hard-earned retirement is caring for the kids, because no one else bothered to provide for them, and he's the bad guy?

If FIL is holding the money, he needs to put every cent of it into a separate account, if not into a trust, and document every single cent he spends to prove it has been used directly for the children.

I have POA for a family member and I document every cent and what it was for. If I ever have to account for my management of their finances, I want it to be all documented because it's very serious to abuse someone else's finances.

FIL should consider that.

hoping someone recognises this scenario and alerts

I reckon I recognise it from a Dickins novel

@YetMoreNewBeginnings I think he's entitled to access it to help raise them though.

As I already said my money will be used to help my dc should anything happen to me rather than sitting untouched for them later on life. I would also prefer that to them going into care.

The 50% returned is a fair act of good will. I think they should be grateful for that and move on.

the gc are entitled to that though... it's not good will!

It's scary just how thick some people are.

Either that or this is a wind up?

Him taking them on doesn’t mean he did it their best interests. And he isn’t acting in their best interests now.

It also doesn't mean he didn't do it in their best interest & none else has stepped up.

Like I said we don't know the aunt's situation, should she not contribute anything to her nephews upbringing? Maybe the FIL is being grabby or maybe he thinks the aunt should also contribute. We don't actually know.

That entitles him to his ex wife’s estate?

In entitles him to the grandkids money? To his step daughters half of the estate?