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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Children playing in the garden

241 replies

Boytwinmum · 28/05/2023 16:34

Hi everyone.
My children, who are young teenagers, love being outside. I encourage it to avoid them being on screens too much.

We've lived in our current house for almost 3 years - this is our third summer here. Recently, my neighbours (I only have neighbours on one side) have taken a huge disliking to them playing in the garden. I spoke to the gentleman and we agreed a mutually acceptable time for them to stop playing was 10pm. I enforce this if they forget, but they are very conscious of the time limit.

Last night (Saturday) they went over by 2 minutes, so got really told off by the neighbour. I could hear the lady screaming at them that they are disrespectful and should be in bed by 10pm. My younger one was mortified and couldn't apologise enough, but she was livid. The screaming attracted my attention to the time, so I also apologised, but she said she was calling the police as we were disturbing their peace. Her and her husband then spent the next 20 minutes shouting at each other.

Well the police turned up today to speak to me, unfortunately we were out, but I saw them on my cameras.

What do I do? I really do dislike falling out with anybody. I understand that we all have different tolerance limits. I want to address it with them, but without making it worse or getting into a neighbour feud. I'm almost tempted to say that when they let their dog out to bark from 6am onwards, or do their glass recycling before 8am at a weekend is outside of my tolerance limits, but I say nothing to keep the peace - but if I say that does it look like tit for tat?

Any advice welcome please.

OP posts:
TMess · 29/05/2023 14:18

WinterInStyle · 29/05/2023 07:52

Are both your boys 13? Where do they sit when they are chatting into the night? Do they have friends who join them or is it just the brothers?

In all honesty regular long noisy ball games in the garden is anti social. It's a garden, not a sports facility.

From 13 on, people don't really play anymore, not in the way children do. Do they never have screen time or play video games? It's very unusual if the don't.

This is really depressing. “Quit getting fresh air, exercise, and bonding with your sibling and go play a video game!”

Crazyducklady · 29/05/2023 14:20

My boys are 15 and 12 and still love playing in the garden. I’ve lived in my house since my eldest was 6 months old and my neighbours on one side are now elderly, having watched them grow up, and we’ve had a variety of neighbours on the other side, but no children.
They’ve heard babies crying, I’ve sworn under my breath as slightly too tipsy boozy summer parties have disturbed my toddlers bed time, they’ve probably cursed harder through the phase my children did nothing but fight and I secretly sighed with relief when their yappy dog died. That’s what happens when you have neighbours.
The boys are allowed out in their own garden providing they are being reasonable. The later the hour, the quieter the activity. Easy peasy.

WinterInStyle · 29/05/2023 14:58

Bouncing teenage boys playing vigorously in the garden until 10 sounds off putting. At 13 most boys are rather tall and must be making a racket if they're playing in the garden 😆they aren't exactly cherubs at that age?

user1471556818 · 29/05/2023 15:09

Got to be honest was sympathetic and felt 10 pm was fine till the basketball update
If it's going on for hrs at a time I think most people would be wanting not to be listening to it
And yes we had a basketball hoop which we all played on
It is noisey though

chocolatemademefat · 29/05/2023 15:28

If they want to play basketball send them to a park - a constantly bouncing ball is torture. Otherwise ignore the neighbors - they’re being unreasonable.

CrackedSkull · 29/05/2023 15:50

Crunchymum · 28/05/2023 16:38

Where do you live that the police came out for this on a warm BH weekend?

I was thinking that . When one of my kids was a victim of an attempted robbery with violence no one came . Your neighbours must have friends in very high places .

cheddercherry · 29/05/2023 16:11

Christ, if my neighbour was saying he’d knock my son out I’d be calling the police and banging on his door myself!

Your kids sound like totally normal boys who are simply enjoying THEIR garden. It’s not blaring noise or antisocial behaviour and as you’ve said it’s a few nights a week at most SEASONALLY. Sounds like they scream and shout at each other regularly so I’d be telling the neighbour where to stick it, and possibly be taking notes and informing police myself if it seems like a domestic issue going on.

Tidsleytiddy · 29/05/2023 16:45

As a PP said the bounce and whack of a ball is pure torture. Tell them to kicks balls etc up the park. No neighbour should have to put up with that

PilatesAndPaddleboards · 29/05/2023 21:47

Crunchymum · 28/05/2023 16:38

Where do you live that the police came out for this on a warm BH weekend?

Ridiculous waste of police time!

PilatesAndPaddleboards · 29/05/2023 21:48

Gtsr443 · 28/05/2023 16:44

What sort of noise are they making as teenagers?! They're playing?

Our neighbours' young teens sometimes have their mates round to sit by the fire pit and talk crap and giggle and play horrible fucking acoustic guitar.

Thankfully it annoys their parents as much as us so it never lasts too long.
Your neighbours must be very fed up to have called the police.

Aw. Love teenagers. Why are people so bloody intolerant?! What are they supposed to do eh?!

Vintagejazzing · 29/05/2023 21:53

If the police came out maybe there's more to this than we've been told.

MayBeeJuneSoon · 29/05/2023 21:58

Poor lads

They sound like good kids op. And you sound like a good mum and neighbour

Mrsmch123 · 30/05/2023 07:26

I would tell them to piss off tbh. We have neighbours who used to love a game of basketball and always around 10pm. Is it slightly annoying yes but no doubt so is my toddler at 9am shouting rawrrrr and running around the garden. Such is life🤷🏻‍♀️

Boytwinmum · 30/05/2023 10:45

Update: police came again this morning, it was not a call from the neighbours about my children, as others who were more astute than me figured out. I was in panic mode, so assumed it was for us. I think the neighbours have more going on than this, and we were caught in the crossfire. I'd close the thread if I could, but unsure how. Thanks again all.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 30/05/2023 11:18

You can’t. You can only ask @MNHQ to do so

HebeMumsnet · 31/05/2023 09:25

Morning, @Boytwinmum . We'll close this thread to new posts now. Hope everything turns out ok with the neighbours.

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