To not put a pupil's name on this gift.

[chaostrulyreigns]

Gah. Deep breath.

I am cross.

I've volunteered to organise Y6 thank you gifts for teacher and headteacher. (I know, I know)

I am buying a fantastic platter that each child pops their thumbprint on, then an artist prints each pupil's name on, adds an inscription then glazes and fires the plate.

One mom has refused to pay the 2x£1.50 fee saying that the teachers are paid to do a job and don't need separate gifts.

Therefore I am now out of pocket as it is £45 for upto 30 thumbs. As well as having to drive 3 lots of 20 mile round trips to collect, return and fetch the finished plate along with spending my freetime in school furtively getting all the pupils to put their prints on the plates.

So AIBU not to put her child's thumb print on plate?

Actually I think writing this down has dissipated my fit of pique, and I couldn't punish the child and exclude her.

What are your thoughts?

im sticking with pinking shears .

Going back to OP, if I hadn't paid my cashage I wouldn't have expected my DS to be included! Simples

I hate the whole teacher present shit anyway....

They're paid to do a job by my money via taxes.
I get paid to do my job. I don't expect a whole farking section of Clinton Cards to spring up with 'gift' ideas that are a bunch crap to thank me for doing my job

At least the op is doing something that records that year's worth of pupils in a nice way? And if people don't contribute then that's fine. I wouldn't expect to be included

You are still going to be out of pocket whether you include the child or not.And what do you think the tyeacher is going to think if you muiss one kid out?
The mums in my DS's yr organised a party for leavers and their fdamilies and teachers and then expected every Y6 parent to contribute £30.I don't think so!

valpollicella 'They're paid to do a job by my taxes'

While I certainly don't expect presents, I do expect a thank you and it is lovely to feel appreciated. I am lucky to work in an affluent school where the parents give me vouchers but I would be as happy with a card and/or a homemade biscuit.

I may be paid for my job but teaching isn't just a job. All the teachers I know spend ALL their time worrying about your children/working to help improve your child's learning and helping them through many emotional issues. We can't leave our work behind at the end of the day.

Therefore, a card to say thank you at the end of the year is not only appreciated but I think, the polite thing to do.

well I volunteered one year to do a class present (and definately not the type to do it - don't know what came over me.) What a caffuffel. Think it was Christmas - then realised that TA was muslim and the whole is it appropriate to give a chrissie present to a muslim (she was actually much nicer then the teacher). Anyway, decided on vouchers but some parents wanted to do their own persoanl pressie - fair enough. But every child was included in the class pressie anyway or it wouldn't be a class pressie. Recently my recpetion DC switched schools and had to end up buying 3 pressies for the 2 job share teachers and the fab TA and happy to do so as they were all lovely. It's just such an minefield and I feel sorry for the poor OP who volunteered as I did and then realised it wasn't as simple or easy as it first seemed.

I know you don't expect presents, it's the whole culture that has popped up. And also the Clinton Cards side of it all..

Best Teacher mugs, bookmarks, coasters, notebooks

We never had that in our day??

A card is nice yes, though.

I can't believe that no one has commented on the teacher receiving a vibrator from a pupil. (emptyshell @ 14:59)

I'm in NZ and the "present for the teacher" thing is not nearly as prevalent, so I don't know the etiquette to giving sex toys to your child's teacher.

YABU to exclude the child.

Personally I do not do leaving gifts and end of year gifts for teachers (or christmas presents) I dont like it and I do belive the mother has a point. However for £1.50 I may have agreed Im not sure..

leak it to others your out of pocket i bet someone will aid

pudding25

A lot of us would like a thank you for doing our job.

A lot of us spend a lot of time worrying about the young people we work with.

I am a drugs counsellor and I work with young people between yrs 8 and 13.

I never expect or get gifts from them and if I did I wouldn't be allowed to accept them anyway as it would be considered to be "gifting" and be inappropriate.

I don't ever expect a thankyou for something I am paid to do.

What a crap gift.. and I would never pay for it. I have bought gifts for exeptional teachers over the past 10 years but its a personal thing and expression of acknowledgement.
YABU

You cant leave one child out as you rightly say.

But if I was a parent at your school , I wouldnt be too impressed with the choice of gift sorry, sounds rather twee for 11 yr old children.

I think Ladyanonymous makes a very good point - in many areas of work it is considered to be entirely inappropriate to accept gifts - why should teaching be any different? I do not give teachers a present at the end of time - I will write a personal letter if I think the teacher has done a really good job.

I was asked for £17.50 for my DDs teachers gift from the mum organising it so I reckon shes pretty tight too! But I would never exclude the kid.

I hate that when one won't play the game. Maybe a lesson learned by you, not to think that everyone has a generous heart.

I think people have given good responses to the OP, but I just wanted to respond to some of the comments that other people have been making.

Without trying to be overly hurtful, I don't think most teachers would really appreciate a plate of pupils' thumb prints as a gift. As a teacher myself, I wouldn't even know where to put it up and it certainly wouldn't be taking pride of place at my home! Having it up in your classroom would also seem a bit strange, particularly once you start teaching a new class in September. The only way I can even imagine this being appropriate would be if the teacher absolutely adored each and every child in the class and therefore would want something like that to remember them by. Trust me, whilst you can have 'good' classes, to love them all is a miracle!

I don't know why so many people are criticising the wine/smellies/ chocolate option. Teachers genuinely don't expect big thought out gifts and if I don't like a present that I've received, then I'll just give it to charity. In fact, it's a bit nauseating when parents get highly competitive about their gifts and then get really uppity when you don't act like they're some kind of parenting God for giving you the 'best' gift! Wine and chocs can always be giving out to (happily obliging) friends, and smellies can always be used or added in as extra little gifts for other people if you desperately don't want them.

The best present I ever received was from a Year Two class in an incredibly deprived area, so they simply couldn't afford gifts. One of the mums got them all to write their name and draw a different picture each on a massive sheet of card of their favourite activity they'd done that year with me. They included a trip to the zoo, our Christmas party, and one darling child even drew me giving a maths lesson! When they handed it to me on the last day I completely welled up, because so much personal thought and effort had gone into it. It didn't really cost a thing, yet nearly a decade later I still cherish that card.

Trust me on this one, it's the simple gifts that work best.

Agreed rhirhirhi
Simple gifts are best.
I work in a very affluent school, so they do give gifts often, though I would never expect it and wouldn't even blink if no one said thank you, gave a card or a gift. I communicate regularly with families through email, phone and during the day and at the gate. I know I am appreciated and I appreciate every single one of them I do get my room parents a gift (usually a plant or something like that) and write a thank you letter to all of the parents for all of their support throughout the year.

The very best gift I received was at the end of the year when I had returned to work (early- not a nice maternity policy in my school), after having my baby, they had all put all of the money they would have given to a gift toward a donation to Great Ormond Street Hospital. For so many reasons that was the most amazing gift at that time.

If it has been planned (by you) as a class gift, then no child should be excluded, but the point is that the class should have agreed to do this beforehand.

While I understand your generosity in giving time and effort to organise the present, I think the other mother is right at being annoyed for being essentially pushed into this without being consulted. That the amount is small is irrelevant. One might end up paying to avoid discussions, but it would be very annoying for (a) not having been consulted (b) being pushed into making your child do something you do not agree with.

So I am afraid in this case YABU, even with the best of intentions...

YABU