To not put a pupil's name on this gift.

[chaostrulyreigns]

Gah. Deep breath.

I am cross.

I've volunteered to organise Y6 thank you gifts for teacher and headteacher. (I know, I know)

I am buying a fantastic platter that each child pops their thumbprint on, then an artist prints each pupil's name on, adds an inscription then glazes and fires the plate.

One mom has refused to pay the 2x£1.50 fee saying that the teachers are paid to do a job and don't need separate gifts.

Therefore I am now out of pocket as it is £45 for upto 30 thumbs. As well as having to drive 3 lots of 20 mile round trips to collect, return and fetch the finished plate along with spending my freetime in school furtively getting all the pupils to put their prints on the plates.

So AIBU not to put her child's thumb print on plate?

Actually I think writing this down has dissipated my fit of pique, and I couldn't punish the child and exclude her.

What are your thoughts?

I'm waiting for an AIBU from the mother who refused to pay

"AIBU for not wanting my childs thumbprint on a plate for evermore"

LOL Morloth!

[Cancels order for baby-face keyrings]

I'm a teacher and I received a platter with thumbprints... just as you describe a few years ago. I use it regularly at home and I love it and always think of that group of children when I use it. Each class is so special to me and seeing all of those thumbprints (turned into buzzing bees!) with their names really makes me smile

Lovely idea... but you're right not to punish the child for her mother not contributing. It's much better to have all of the prints on it.

I don't ever expect a gift and don't think it's necessary for parents to spend any money on me, as I'm paid to do my job and I don't need extra appreciation or material gifts. I do tend to receive gifts at the end of the year, and I do appreciate them completely and think it is above and beyond and so incredibly thoughtful (but not necessary - so I wouldn't want any parent to think they had to contribute.... and if I found out that a parent was made to feel it was mandatory, I'd be really, really ).

Bless you StarExpat - I now feel like a complete bitch

There you go OP - the teacher may well love the present.

And it might come in handy one day when one of the little buggers darlings is in trouble with the law.

sorry for the hijack but those of you that have suggested gift vouchers-where would you get them for??
I like the idea but my sons teacher is quite a strict old school sort,although she is very good and i'm not really sure what to go for.

House of Fraser
Debenhams

You can buy them in Sainsburys if you are noweher near any of these shops.

Have you asked the mother if, when she said she doesn't want to pay, if she doesn't want her child to be on the plate? Or doesn't she care?

You like the plate idea, maybe the mother is like lots of the people on here who don't. In which case, for any number of different reasons, she might not want her child to be included and assumed that when she told you 'No' that her child would not be fingerprinted. However, you are assuming that 'no' just means that she doesn't want to pay, not that she doesn't want to be fingerprinted.

You might find yourself in even more problems - if she doesn't want her child fingerprinted on the plate and finds out you have done it anyway, she could rightly demand that you take her child's name and fingerprint off or even destroy it - and then what? Ruin the plate for everybody? You see it as 'punishing' the child and 'excluding' her - by leaving her out; maybe the mother would see it as punishing her and ignoring the mother's wishes by including her.

Might be worth double checking...

And also coming up with an answer for other parents who weren't so keen on it but paid up anyway grudingly if they then discover that somebody else got away with not paying - then why should they...

I gave DD's teacher the pleasure of teaching her all year.
Priceless

Blimey zipzap.

Thank christ I have never organised a collective present at school

sorry getorf... I only read up to runnybottom's post at around 13.13, then decided to post my thoughts. I think that's probably MN taboo

I've had past classes give my amazon.co.uk vouchers. Or local bookstores or waterstones. Most teachers love books. I always use those to buy more books for my classroom (I thought that's what we were supposed to do... then found out a colleague bought a watch with hers ).

I'm ok!

To clarify: a circular plate with a border made from the children doing a blob of coloured paint with their thumb. Their name is then written by the blob and cartoony eyes, mouth etc drawn on each print by artist. So I probably described it badly - nothing about them that really looks like thumb prints except for shape.
It's the sort of thing I think would stay on wall in the Y6 classroom or head's office - no need to take home. And no need for the 2 dozen individual presents to take home - so a win-win type situation? (unless you like wine and that's what's normally sent in?).

Present wasn't my idea - have seen them before, lovely, but perhaps better suited to early years pupils.

I just offered to do it, so, yep more fool me, shouldn't have got agitated, but I'm no meany, so wouldn't have excluded child as would have been a shame for both pupil and teacher.

I think it's hilarious that people are uncomfortable with the idea of children's thumprints being taken for a platter.

I think the platter sounds pretty ghastly, I'd probably break it up and use it for crocks in the bottom of a plant pot or something.

I spose it's just as well I'm not a teacher!

lol zipzap. The prints aren't being stored on file anywhere. They are being put on a plate for the teacher's home or school use. They aren't being "printed" for police files or school files or any files. Just for a plate. Only 1st names, no surnames. Doubtful anyone will come back to me in 20 years and use my plate as thumbprints evidence.

Was only joking star.

You do so8und lovely buying classroom books with present voiuchers. I hope you spend any vouchers on yourself now!

It is funny, isn't it?

Your house being raided by plainclothes officers demanding you hand over "the platter".

chaos yes that's what mine are like, too... they don't have identifiable lines like prints do. And I love it, as I said before. So, your teacher might just adore it!

I just tried to post and it didn't post..

Getorf.. I can't, it just seems wrong, somehow. But I do have a fab classroom library as a result

I'm dreading when ds (21 months) enters school and I have to be on both sides of this, wearing both hats, teacher and mother. The mother/gates/social politics part all seems so very complicated

i couldn't. The child's mother might be a tight arse but I bet the child still loves her teacher

When I said thoroughly odd, I wasn't getting at the OP, I know it wasn't her choice but a group choice, so please don't be offended OP!

Nothing to do with your situation OP but

Some schools (in Ireland)have started doing a blanket ban on all teacher gifts, Christmas and end of year, "in the current climate" so that no-one feels under pressure to contribute.

From current plethora of threads on mumsnet, Im assuming there are no signs of this trend reaching the Uk yet?

ilovecakes - DD's teacher is being given John Lewis vouchers. There are 15 in DD's class and people can give whatever contribution they wish, or not at all. Normal contribution is between £5-10 here. Still comes from whole class via the class rep.

We did H&M as our fab Alpha Mummy just went ahead and asked our teacher.

All tossed in a tenner and the kid's did individual cards for her. We will see her again next week as DS is going to summer school and I intend to buy her some flowers as well as DS is leaving and she has gone above and beyond with helping with that.

Actually I think 3GBP is quite a lot.
Here the children have two main teachers & we give 1€-that´s 50ct per teacher 26 children so 13€ per teacher which tbh I think is plenty.