to not want to do training on something that I’m not sure even exists?

[pastiesh]

AIBU to want to just get on with my work, and not be requested to participate in 3 hours (over 3 days) of training on something which I think it a bit irrelavant to me? We have recently had to have some training on ?Post Adoption Depression Syndrome? as a colleague who has recently adopted, and is coming back to work, is claiming to be suffering from it. I?m just a bit annoyed that work time is taken up with this, at a time when me and most of my colleagues are especially busy with lots of projects on, just to pussyfoot around someone who has a new baby - like so many of us have!! When I had my baby, no one did training on how to deal with my PND.
To be perfectly honest, after listening to all the training and doing a bit of reading myself, I just think it?s another example of this crazy PC world we now live in, and while she may be struggling with becoming a parent, I think it?s a bit insulting to compare it to Post Natal Depression, as that is hormonal and physiological and I fail to see how the two can be compared. I would never say all this to her, or to anyone at work (which is why I wanted to vent on here, really) and I probably am being a bit unreasonable, but she is just one member of a thirty-strong workforce, and I feel as though we are being taken away from important work, just to be seen to be doing the right thing - and something I?m not even sure exists outside of the politically correct brigade.

Right. And does anyone you know know much about the inner workings of the psychology of adoption?

Maybe you could post those unanswered questions, I'm sure some people on here with experience in the matter would love to help you.

If I were to post doubts as the the "actual thinginess" of PND, would you be hurt and offended?

Sounds like you need more (or better) training.

I've had depression which was not related to having a baby. Do I win, OP?

No JAHMT, non-baby-related gets you 2 points, PADS is only 1 point and PND is 5 points. Didn't you know that?

If your employer want you to spend 3 hours of your working week doing this training, then do it. You are paid to do what your employer wants (within reason) and they have chosen to prioritise this issue.

Pastiesh if someone had told you when you had PND to get a grip you would have been devastated what you are saying is no better. The underlying sentiment you display is that PAD is just a label and not a real condition .! WTF

I've not (and wouldn't) tell anyone to get a grip - and, yes, that is what I think. PND is medically recognised, and even with that people who haven?t suffered from it don?t always think that it can be as bad as it sometimes is. I?ve said I?m sure that adoptive parents are prone to depression - I stand by what I said though. I don?t think that it is a ?thing? (but I?m sure she will need support and friendship) and I don?t think we should have training on it. I have learned a lot about adoption and the problems that are prevalent from this thread, and admire these very strong women

You honestly think this woman needs to get a grip ??? Honestly??? The go back to your own post you are a bitch you really are. Glad I don't work with you.

No - I don?t think she needs to ?get a grip? hobnobs - I was referring to your previous post where you said ?The underlying sentiment you display is that PAD is just a label and not a real condition? - That IS what I think, not that she needs to get a grip!

Words fail. OP, you are fully entitled to be cynical about the proliferation of pseudo-medical 'syndromes', which I think is what you are saying. BUT is that what's really important here? Whether your colleague is suffering from common or garden depression, or some fancy-pants depressive syndrome, REALLY doesn't matter. Can't you see that you're letting your dinner party theories, your uninformed-by-experience opinions, take priority over the reality which is a depressed new mother who needs some support?

You're coming over as someone who believes - as many people do - that psychological conditions that have a physiological basis are somehow more valid than those that do not. And, for some reason known only to you, it's important to you to maintain that hierarchy.

You also sound like someone who's blaming a colleague for poor management practices that are NOT HER FAULT.

I've had a birth child and been depressed. I'm adopting another child, and who knows what that will bring. I hope my friends will support me, no matter what. I hope that they'll listen to me, and not insist on judging me through the prism of their own experience. I hope my happiness will be more important to them than their little pet theories.

Brilliant post, hester - and all the best with your adoption

Does it really matter if it's a "thing"? - I'm not sure what your definition of a thing is, BTW - if you mean, there's not a blood test for it, or a brain scan - then that's true of lots of mental illnesses.

They are diagnosed on the basis of commonly-occurring clusters of symptoms, and as someone said, even in PND, which you term "biological", there are psychological and physical causal factors. So it's not a stretch to think that the stresses associated with Adoption can result in depression.

X post hester - you expressed what I was getting at ...

So if PND didn't have a label and was just common old Depression would that make it somehow less valid ? less of a true medical condition ? You really do sound like a spoilt brat who can't bear the fact that your workplace is recognising this womans issues and failed to reconise yours,

Some people are much more comfortable with PND, because they deem it to be a medical illness with a purely biological cause, so no blame attached .....

I think I?ve lost sight a bit of what I set out to make a point about, and can understand why people think I?m coming across as a bit of a cow. I can?t help the way I think/feel about this. I am trying, and many of you are making eloquent cases, but it hasn?t changed my mind. Maybe I am just unreasonable.

Well, you are honest.

Yes, maybe you are.

pastiesh, PAD is ALSO medically recognised (along with paternal PND). I do wish that people wouldn't claim "medical knowledge" if they don't actually have any...
PAD

At least you have some insight....

Well, I stand corrected then, about the medical research - although that is recent and doesn't look conclusive

Even though there are a few dubious opinions here, I am really pleased to have read this thread, and for PADS to have been discussed. It really does need it?s profile raising, so thank you from me to everyone who has participated. It?s really refreshing to see so much support and insight

Pastiesh, I wonder if you're feeling a little backed into a corner and can't concede that you were wrong?

Just because a syndrome is only recently fully researched, doesn't make it less valid. And just because you haven't suffered from it doesn't make it any easier than something you have suffered from. I suggest you go and have a think about the reasons this training has been initiated, and whether you were part of the reason this poor lady has suffered so much.

loopy - it?s not that I can?t admit I?m wrong - I just don?t change my mind about things that quickly/easily. I still have my own valid reasons for thinking the way I think, but I?m finding it quite hard to put across here, and admittedly, my posts do make me sound a bit of a mare. I?m not.
I?m also not in any way responsible for her feeling the way she may have done throughout the process. I don?t work closely with her, and didn?t know she was adopting until way into the process. The problems were that she never got any time off for visiting with her social workers (which was apparently often & she had to use annual leave, which wasn't always granted) and that our company don?t have an adoption leave policy, and so apparently she was really worried that her finances would prevent her from adopting. She was also given a hard time about her length of leave, as the bosses wanted her back at work FT within 6 months, and she was holding out for a year. Nothing whatsoever to do with me!

Fair enough, sorry (but I still think YABVVU).