To be p'eed off when people don't give up their seats on the tube?

[splashy]

I know I'm not but I need to vent!

Am 28 weeks pregnant and am fed up off people ignoring me, pushing past me to seats, and even shoving me.

Was a size 8-10 before being pregnant and still only wear a regular size 12 (don't like the look of maternity clothes). My weight is all on my belly so it's not like people might mistake me for fat.

Just bleedin' inconsiderate!

I'm a bit on the fence on this one really - I'm pregnant and actually do get offered a seat more often than not. When I don't I do find myself getting a bit indignant but actually when I think about it have to admit I don't really need a seat anymore than normal. I realise people with SPD have a greater need that you can't tell by looking at people, just like none pregnant people might have joint / back issues
I'm a little that medical advice is that pg people shouldn't stand up for long though - not heard that one! What about people whose jobs involve standing up? And the average tube journey isn't very long.
Plus OP doesn't need to be travelling at peak times if the seat is that important to her.

But of course ideally I do think common courtesy should prevail and pregnant women / older people should get seats.

And yes, I really really hate people who cut across you at the doors to get to the seats, so on balance YANBU.

My classic on the tube. I had an enormous pregnancy was I small sized 8 went up to a 12 by the time I was three months.

Ok, need to to go somewhere so go by tube - change at kings cross - crowded platform - see a seat and just go for it - so does this man who has wife and 3 kids in tow - three of them get the seat including the husband and I get the last one.

I ease myself in the seat - he eases his bag in my seat also - it was a squash. I could not believe this - his wife and kids on seats opposite - one kid without seat - he has a seat and insists his bag share my seat and I'm fucking huge.

I'm sighing etc - lots of people looking. At one point I just get up - he asks me if I'm OK. I just say - yep love, me and my baby are fine but your bag clearly needs a seat of its own. He fucking nods his head in agreement. Carriage in laughter at this stage and so was I.

No, fucking idea - I was actually on way to hospital to get crutches as I couldn't walk.

I think if you feel you need a seat on the tube more than other passengers, for whatever reason then you need to ask.

When travelling on the tube I usually read a book, which means I hardly notice the people around me. If I was sitting down and someone asked me to move I would be happy to.

When not pregnant my tube train got stuck in the tunnel (that sounds like a euphemism doesn't it!). The carriage was packed with Milllwall fans (motto 'nobody likes us and we don't care') and I was standing in the middle of the carriage feeling rather claustrophobic and panicky.
I asked one of the football supporters if I could sit down, and he happily gave up his seat for me and preceded to fan me with his programme!

Hope your experiences get better.

I think my refusal to be a pregnant hero and stand for an hour a day to and from work is largely responsible for the fact that I don't have any varicose veins

I have to say OP that your experience and mine is totally opposite - I had assumed that this is what it would be like being pregnant in London but actually I found that people sprang out of their seats as soon as they saw I was pregnant! I mainly commuted by packed overground train, and there were times when it was so crowded there was no way anyone could tell I was pregnant, so fair enough. If they could see, they ALWAYS offered, in fact on the tube I sometimes had two people get up for me at the same time! It restored my faith in humanity :-)

In fact, since having the baby, people have offered their seats to me when I have her in the sling, and always offer to help with the pram on and off trains and up and down stairs - it is incredibly rare that I have to deal with these things on my own. In my experience, people are nice, even in London. Hurrah!

Nux - that's been my experience too. People move so I can sit near the pushchair, always give up their seat when I'm carrying (either in a sling or otherwise), and I've only had to bump the buggy up and down steps a few times. Really restores your faith in people doesn't it?

I agree with those who said they may not realise you are pregnant, plus 28 weeks isn't that far advanced. At 35 weeks plus when obviously pregnant I'd expect it more, but even then I'd ask if no seat offered.
Earlier on standing is often not that bad, I felt quite good at 28 weeks, plus someone might be worried you are just fat and will ask them why they offered you a seat.

LadyBiscuit, yes it does. I should also say that I never had any "medical" need for a seat, nor did I have a belief in my divine right to one - but I always took one when offered from someone who looked fit enough to stand, or alt least thanked them profusely for the offer, because that is the societal contract... they offer, you beam and say thank you, how very kind, they smile and feel good, you feel good...

Someone once described pregnancy to me as being enclosed in a huge societal hug - and that is what it is like. People want to look after you, seeing you makes them feel protective and kindly - that extends to having a young baby too. It's a lovely thing and very touching.

definitely ask. no-one will say no, unless they are complete wankers!
I am always very worried about asking people and they are just a little bit overweight.
I had lots of people not notice I was pregnant up until 8 months and I was huge
Had a row with a woman over a parking space and she called me a fat cow, when I was 7 1/2 months!!

Same for me Nux too. Makes you feel connected to the rest of the people you come into contact with, and cared for too. Babies are little miracles aren't they inspiring this. Loving the societal hug

It was a joke fruitwhisperer...

Good to hear that some people have had good experiences, maybe I have just been unlucky..

Just wanted to reiterate that I don't choose to travel when its busy but the tube is full a lot of the time - no just rush hour!!

I'm also thin with a big bump so no mistaking me for fat/not pregnant. Everyone when I went on hol noticed, as do friends who I haven't seen in months and haven't told.

I'm surprised some people think you aren't big at 28 weeks. Maybe this was the case for you but I'm huge!

I remember years ago ,3 of us were on a train and the fourth seat was taken by a pregnant lady who was chatting to another lady standing up. Really didn't pay much attention, but as the lady standing up started to make a move to get off, she had a real go at us, saying that she hoped one day when we were pg that no/one would give up their seat for us. We just looked St each other astounded, we had no clue she was pg. Really had not noticed, and even when we looked closer as she got off we couldn't tell. Felt bad though!