To be p'eed off when people don't give up their seats on the tube?

[splashy]

I know I'm not but I need to vent!

Am 28 weeks pregnant and am fed up off people ignoring me, pushing past me to seats, and even shoving me.

Was a size 8-10 before being pregnant and still only wear a regular size 12 (don't like the look of maternity clothes). My weight is all on my belly so it's not like people might mistake me for fat.

Just bleedin' inconsiderate!

I find what you say in 2. quite sad, and I think it sums up why we aren't going to agree. You don't seem to expect other people to care about you, and so you don't seem to think anyone should expect to be cared for, when they are pregnant.

And 3. - YOU didn't care whether you sat or stood. Many people who are pregnant find standing difficult.

That last post was to Chyna, BTW

I mentioned the 'Baby on Board' badges on here once and was flamed.

Ive found it worse on the train! Especially on match day at Tottenham (my train goes right past it) where Ive seen old men pushed over and verbally abused for just trying to move down the carriage.

I think the Victoria line is the best for offering.

The worst : Circle and Central lines. Those city workers wont move unless the child is actually coming out of you.

YANBU but if it bothers you, you have to ask.

People didn't offer me seats until I was unavoidably very pregnant - ie until it got to a point where it was embarassing for them. I used to rock onto tube, and go straight for the priority seats, and if someone didn't get up as they were waiting for someone else to hadn't see me, they would jump up pretty embarrassed.

Thing is these commuters have lots on their minds.

But please do ask, and straight away before you start to fume. Just walk to the priority seats, hand on belly and say 'excuse me ....' in big polite voice. Someone will jump up, everyone will look ashamed! Don't be a matyr!! Make sure your needs are met - you need a seat, and you are entitled to one. But realistically you can't assume that you will be seen & offered one.

I was very visibly (35 weeks) pregnant and a friend I was travelling with asked a man sitting on a priority seat to let me have his seat. This man looked at us and my friend said "she is pregnant". The response was "yes I can see that - I've got 2 stops to go, can't she wait..."

Also although I do very much like the design of the baby on board badges and the idea behind them, I have had some weird comments (shouldn't that be on a car bumper and where can I get one I like it - from non pregnant people) about them and get the impression that some people don't get them/the message.

Think I may suggest to TFL that they make them a lot bigger and reword them so they are not so subtle/clever .. maybe straight to the point 'I am pregnant please give me your seat'.

Just a thought

Ah, Chyna, so it's my option 3. Martyr syndrome: "I was a superstar despite my suffering, everyone else should be too"

If you want a seat ask, but don't get marked if people don't offer.

You have to ask for a seat if you want one.

I might notice if there was a pregnant woman in the tube with me, but I'm know dh would never think to look at every woman getting on the tube just in case she may be sporting a bumpette.

And, for most people, 28 weeks is huge to you, but a pot belly to others.

When I was seeing a client (who I saw weekly) at 39 and a half weeks, I explained that he wouldn't be seeing me for the next few months. He asked why. I was astonished and replied that I would be on maternity leave - didn't he know I was pg? He said that he wasn't sure, and had once made the mistake of asking a woman when she was due when she was just fat, so vowed he would never raise the subject with anyone ever again.

So, if you need a seat, learn to say "excuse me, I'm pregnant, could I possibly have your seat please".

No slhily - no martyr just didn't need the whole world to notice I was pregnant.

I found asking much harder than I'd have thought before I got pregnant and I'm not generally backward in coming foward. I always say loudly "can someone please give a seat to this pregnant woman?" if I spot someone. Yeah, I'm that annoying woman .

As a non-baby carrier, I would suggest politely that:

1. If you're asking for a seat, say "please".
2. "Excuse me please, can I have your seat, I'm pregnant" is not really going to cut it with most Londoners. However: "Excuse me please, do you mind if I sit there, my back/feet/whatever are in a lot of pain".

moan wish there were seats for people who'd been on their feet all day moan

Flockcrow - some pregnant women have been on their feet all day too...

I would ask same as when someones in disabled section on the train I politley ask then i either Ask more assertive or block the aisle with ds wheelcahir and if anyone asks i point out well the disabled space was taken

Roundthebend, dont block the aisle, thats just totally selfish.

Roundthebend, the third step should not be blocking the aisle but calling the guard/enlisting the sympathy of the entire carriage because this person is refusing to move and of course I am far too worthy to block the aisle with my wheelchair

(you can tell I have experience, can't you?)

I'm a frequent rush hour Tube commuter.

Everyone has their heads down. Most people will not notice pregnant women unless they make a special effort to look. Even then, it's often not absolutely clear whether someone is pg or just overweight (and woe betide anyone who gets it wrong).

I always offer if I see someone who is clearly pregnant, but not otherwise.

So make it easy for people!

Wear the badge.

If that fails (it may do if people have their heads down) - ask, politely.

If you've tried both and still don't get a seat - then you can complain. Until then, YABU

Wear the badge. It is not always easy to tell whether someone is pregnant or not. It is four years since the birth of my last child and I still look pregnant - but didnt actually look pregnant when I was until I was about 32 weeks. But I have seen the badge and offered my seat.

Obviously if someone is clearly pregnant I will offer my seat.

I got round that fact and resigned myself to the fact that I would not get offered a seat - so rearranged my working hours to travel out of the rush hoour - that way ensuring a seat that I diodn't have to ask for.

apologies for atrocious spelling - in a rush

well if cant get ds is the disabled space as someone is sitting there and mean just someone in genral where the heck do i put ds wheelchair then

oh and i tried asking politley hen loudly some just wont give 4 attemptes to get ds on atrain at Kingcross other day but since trains were full guards would not ask to move ev en though we booked seats .They was oh we can only ask not force .

Mind Very nice transport police could see was end of teather and he was like you cant make them but I can and he did

To the people who keep saying pregnancy is not an illness, you are right. BUT pregnancy alters body shape and makes it hard to balance, especially in a fast moving tube.

So whilst pregnancy is not an illness, pregnant ladies have a far bigger chance of falling if they are standing on a tube.

Are we so self obsessed that we cannot take time to look around us and see people more in need of a seat ie pregant ladies, elderly, disabled?

To the OP. YANBU. I will gladly give up my seat for you.

Sorry to hear some peoples stories of the ways they have been treated on public transport.

Am rather shocked by those who have said that pregnant women don't deserve respect. In other countries it is standard to offer seats to those less able to stand, there is no need to ask. Pity London is so different.

May try to ask in future but was afraid of peoples reactions, and don't think you should need to ask. I also don't think people simply don't notice pregnant women as I have seen people stare at my bump then quickly avoid eye contact.

Also not just peed off at not being offered a seat, also general treatment. People shoving into you when you are trying to protect your bump isn't pleasant.

I never had a problem going up to the person sitting in the priority seat and saying 'excuse me, I'm pregnant, I need to sit down'. And then giving them a huge smile and saying 'thank you very much' when they got up. Never once refused.

Honestly - grow some balls ladies!

When I was pg getting the train and tube to work someone gave their seat up for me virtually every day. I was so touched/surprised it really restored my faith in human nature. Since having DD I have had the same level of help with the pushchair too. I'm sorry your experience has been so different.
Do you walk straight into the centre of the carriage or lurk by the door? That can make a difference, you have to put your bump in their faces. If you need to ask, say "can i sit down please, I'm feeling rather sick" or do a rudenglishlady
I think in a civilsed society, we should give up our seats/look after the vulnerable, I always did and still do, so nothing unreasonable about expecting some help when you need it.