to think that being a parent is, actually, the hardest thing in the world?

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Just had a bit of a lightbulb moment where it struck me that all the old cliches about parenthood are actually TRUE and that it is tremendously difficult to be a good parent all the time and no one really thanks you even if you pull out all the stops? And sometimes, just sometimes, you get tired of putting the needs of your child before your own?

Imisssleeping, your LO is only 2yo, there is time...things change and it's doubtful you'll always feel so good about him IME.

OP, YANBU. Children can be easy/difficult at different stages of their childhood. It's a relentless job; you are always Mummy, no days off even if you didn't see them for a week.
I'm a single parent and it's tough, but I've always been on my own bringing my Dc's up, so I'm used to it even though it is a daily challenge. If it's not the norm for you, it'll feel like so much more. Don't feel so bad and don't be so hard on yourself

i think being a stepparent can be harder than being a parent.

my DD's have a wonderful stepmother, but i do not envy anyone the job of dealing with all the normal good/bad/awful stuff of kids, then adding onto thatbeing scared of doing too much/too little for fear of offending, then adding in those kids not even loving you unconditionally.

but then as a parent i think in the long run, you have put your life and soul into this child and seeing how they turn out can be the most heartbreaking and rewarding thing ever.

i think being a parent can be hard work, but its definately not the hardest job out there.

I don't think it is anywhere near the hardest thing but I understand your sentiment!

Course it's hard. Always has been. I do wonder why, with all the advantages of wealth and convenience, whiy it's such an issue for some? After all, our children are unlikely to have to spend time in an iron lung, suffer with vitamin deficiencies or have to work in the pits. Sorry if that sounds facetious, but can't we just get over ourselves and get on with it?

Bibbity I hope you are having a better day today.

I think being a parent is hard but I think it becomes easier if you stop giving yourself a hard time. I like to think I am a GOOD parent MOST of the time, since I started doing this and stopped beating myself up about the fact he watches 3 hours of TV a day, drinks juice and eats cake life has become a lot nicer.

Well I think we do just get on with it don't we? But that's not to begrudge anyone a moan now and again. In fact, we're probably a lot healthier than the generation who had to deal with iron lungs and vitamin deficiencies because we can talk about the difficulties and admit that we're struggling. They couldn't, and so they suffered mentally. At least we can off-load on one another.

Bibbity I hope you're feeling a bit better today.

I think I know what you mean - that nothing is yours - its pointless liking a nice dress or special wine glass, as it will get wrecked, It doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things, but it is hard to come to terms with,.

Vintage- spoke to a few folk and they recomend contacting the Autism Resource Centre in Glasgow (google) They work in the Greater Glasgow area and use a multi agency approach. They should be able to point you in the correct direction. Hope that helps.

Ali "curious to know if after putting your DC to bed do you ever have that feeling that you miss them oh so slightly or am I still in the first flush of love with my DS? He has just turned a year. Will it get worse?"

Mine are 3 and 7 and I still feel like this plus guilty for any shoutiness or impatiences during the day, I almost want to wake them up so I can make it up to them, then of course they wake up the next day and it all starts again..........

OP YANBU. It is the constant fear of "getting it wrong" and screwing them up forever that is hardest for me. I feel guilty probably 80% of the time. I am not a bad parent I don't think but I don't always get it right. Also have an ASD ds and that is very hard work. None of the usual rules apply. There is no dropping him off at school and having a break while he is there and there never will be, I am called in regularly and even on the days I am not I am on constant alert waiting for the phone to ring.

So it is very hard, but I wouldn't change a single thing, not a single thing, I just wish I could be as good a parent as my kids deserve.

The stakes are very high. If you go terribly wrong at work you could be sacked - but then, so what?, you could always get another job.

I think in the days of vitamin deficiencies and iron lungs parents would still have thought that being a mum or dad was the most difficult job.

Yes, quite, I think some posters on this thread are missing the point. I should perhaps have said "the most difficult thing" rather than "hardest".

I have managed 12 years of being a good enough parent and DH and I used to put them to bed, fill a wine glass and congratulate ourselves on the job we were doing, considering....
Oddly it is NOW that I feel I have fucked them up a la Larkin...
when teenagedom looms and you realise that all the flaws and faults and fuckups are there, glaring at you, can't easily be changed and a whole world of teachers, other parents and the rest of the world are holding you firmly responsible for the spotty, surly, sulky, spoiled sprog they are often confronted with.

thank you so much Lillybloom