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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

unsuitable friendship

103 replies

1mouse2 · 04/07/2010 16:10

real problem at the minute, my 8yr old dd1 has become friends with a girl in her year who i really rather she was not. the family(including the mother) is involved with police, ss etc and is known for being trouble. she wanted to invite girl back to our house, said no as do not want the family round here. so she asked if she could go round to hers to which my reply was no as am not sure about her safety if she did. have tried to explain without with going into details. am now trying to encourage other friendships, has any one else been in this situation and how have they handled it

OP posts:
flibbertigibbert · 06/07/2010 19:18

I do understand the OP's concerns. But she's only a little 8 year old girl.

One of my best friends at secondary school had a terrible home life - one of the worst council estates in the country, drug addict siblings, etc. Her background made my friend very sensible and keen to avoid going down that path. She wouldn't even get drunk on nights out. I never went round to her house though. She's now a solicitor. I would've been really sad to miss out on my friendship with her.

As long as your DD doesn't go round to their house it should be ok.

Vallhala · 06/07/2010 19:23

CurryFreak had it about right on page 1.

PipocaThePedantic · 06/07/2010 19:36

This makes me think of my best friend when I was the same age. We lost touch at around 10 years old as the parents moved to another part of the country.

She was the eldest of about 6 kids at the time. Dad in prison on drug offences, mother I think possibly an addict too, certainly later after I'd lost touch with my friend the mother had had at least one further child, and had been so out of it on something (heroin I think) she had been unaware she'd even had this baby.

The family were v well known to social services. Our family wasn't exactly perfect (alcoholic father) but there was no question of her being "banned" as a friend.

All the children were removed eventually and my friend was fostered. We met once or twice many years later and it was lovely.

It is so sad to think what her life might have become if nobody had even been allowed to be her friend. If everyone had her marked down as bad. You really make me despair OP. And very sad.

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