Chickenpox at wedding

[Poxymummy]

My dd has chickenpox - the spots appeared yesterday. Problem is dh,dc and I are all members of a wedding party on Saturday. Obviously if the spots haven't stopped appearing by the middle of the week and if they haven't crusted over, dd will not be going. However if they have, my intention at the moment is to allow her to go. Question is I know that there will be a pregnant guest attending - day guest, but reasonably close friend rather than family - if she is concerned about dd being there, is it up to me to stop dd from being a flowergirl or is it up to her to decide what level of risk she's willing to take. Just to repeat myself if the spots aren't crusted over and are still appearing dd will be kept away and dh and I will take turns at sitting with her away from the service and reception.

Not read whole thread but she should no longer be infectious after 6 days from the first spots appearing here

wee update on dd1 - she phoned the doctors this morning and asked about her immune status with cp.Doctor is going to phone her back once hes checked her notes , and if shes not immune she be called in to get jag later this afternoon ! THANX EVERYONE ! xxx

''if i had a compromised immune system I'd be damn sure that I wasn't dependent on others being careful for my health's sake.'

Do you know what we do do that. dh has to sit away in a private room whilst waitying to see the GP, doesnt visit people in hospital if he can avoid it, doesnt work in a high risk enviroment, keeps away from the kids school as risk of infection, doesnt fly, didnt use public transport in the first year, keeps swimming to a miimum etc etc etc.

drloves - great! hope she is okay

Misdee - I wondered if you'd see that amazing line and what your response would be. I congratulate you on keeping your cool because it certainly made me see red big time.

my first response was full of expletives, but i edited it before i hit post

Poxymummy - I've been reading this since you first posted, but as I'm V new to MN I'm still trying to find my feet here.

And as you have clearly been given loads of advice & info already - might I make a separate suggestion?

Maybe before the end of the Summer, and whilst the weather is still nice (ha!), could you organise a more immediate family get-together (your family, ILs, BIL & new wife etc), where you all dress up in your wedding frocks (DH's also have to make a sartorial effort!), so that your DD can wear her flowergirl dress for the reason it was originally intended? And, perhaps, even organise a little ceremony with the Happy Couple so that she can do her 'scattering the rose petals' thing, or whatever her role was to be on the Big Day?

Or do you think it would just rub her nose in it that she hadn't been there on the Big Day and that it would be too upsetting for her to do that some weeks afterwards (she may have forgetten by then)? But you won't have done.

Just a thought

If she's 100% crusted over and feels ok I don't see the problem with taking her. My DD had it a couple of weeks ago, was crusted within 5 days and back at school less than a week later. Yes she had it mildly but she was no risk to anyone and this was confirmed by my GP.

I caught chickenpox when I was 7 months pregnant with PFB.

I have no idea who gave it to me - possible somebody who thought I should 'take responsibilty for keeping myself safe'.

It was very frightening and I was very sick. I hallucinated for days.

Please don't be selfish. Think of others. I am sorry your daughter has to miss out on the wedding, but she really has to.

. dd1 just phoned , dr got back to her and told her she does have cp antibodys so she must have had cp at some point , panic over ! .

me too , dd1 ok , future grandchild ok , im all .
still poor wee dd4 is starting to go crusty , so alls good !

If all her spots have crusted over she's fine
and won't be contagious

OP YABVU, but I am sure you have realised that by now.

I, sadly, have very personal experience of what CP can do during pregnancy. Last Boxing Day, DD came down with CP, I was 10wks pregnant and couldn't remember having ever had CP. I went to my GP on the Tuesday after Xmas to have a VZV antibody test. The test came back as positive and I relaxed. Sadly on 7th Jan this year I miscarried and, whilst I was still in hopsital, I developed CP. The reason for mc went down as contracting CP. I have since been told by many doctors that it is possible to have had CP/ show immunity to CP, but still contract it. I would have been due on the 28th of this month and not a day goes by when I don't think of my little bean. I am glad you have decided to keep your daughter away from the wedding, but I hope you realise that her short lived upset is a 'lesser evil' than putting others at risk.

drloves I hope your DD is fine.

This happened to me. My ds1 developed chicken pox 8 days before we were due at a close friend's wedding. I looked at the information we were given from school which said he should be kept at home for 5 days. (Looking at the nhs website, it seems that is still the advice.) I figured that if the spots had all crusted over, and he was well enough, then there was no reason for him not to go. (After all, he would have been allowed back at school.)

I also had ds2. He hadn't had cp either. Again I read the info: the incubation period is 14-21 days and you are only infectious for 2 days prior to that. So doing the maths, ds2 was not going to be infectious on the day in question.

So, having taken all that into consideration, we took an informed decision to attend. In the event, ds1's spots were well and truly crusted over and he was absolutely fine in himself. Ds2 developed cp 5 days after the wedding (almost exactly 14 days after ds1 was first infectious.)

As far as I'm concerned, we were not putting anybody at risk, and if the information we had read had indicated either child would be infectious, they wouldn't have gone.

drloves please to here your DD is okay

always "better safe than sorry" though

Clutching at straws Khara.

There are somw very selfish people in the world. This thread confirms it.

on phone so can't properly scroll back to check on this, but i think someone said you can't catch shingles. It's true, but if you do have active shingles, you can pass cp to those without immunity.

if people are following the nhs direct advice then they are not being selfish - they are being sensible!