To be pissed off when people comment on my weight-loss?

[mosschops30]

I rang my friend yesterday and we were chatting and I said Id been shopping and bought jeans.
She huffed and said 'oh I suppose they were an 8 or a 10'
err yes they are!
Similarly met one of the mums from school who just been congratulated on being pg even though she's not and she said 'oh its alright for you youre skinny'.

The point is that Ive lost 3 stone since having a horrendous time with ds2.
And it hasnt fallen off whilst ive been sat on the sofa eating doritos, oh no its cost me a personal trainer, training 4-5 nights a week, eating 3 meals a day, cutting out all crap stuff, not eating carbs after lunch etc etc.

I feel like saying look I have to work to look like this, as most people do, it doesnt come naturally fgs. If I sat at home every night eating cake then I would look the same as you

its irrational I know but it really winds me up

this is my life day in day out.why do people think they can be rude to me because im under weight?
i wouldnt be rude to someone over weight.

well done mossy

Oblomov
I think you have missed my point. I was talking about overweight v normal weight (i.e. healthy bmi) not clothes size.

I even said I think clothes size is a load of crap, because everyone's built differently. I thought my post made it clear that basing what is healthy on dress size is foolish! Where on earth did I say a size 8 is some kind of thing to aspire to?

In my experience some of my friends and family have totally changed their attitude to me when my weight has gone up and down. If someone's comfortable in themselves, why would they feel the need to belittle mine or the op's achievement? Why make the snidey comment the op's friend made? All I can think of is jealousy.

Jealousy or insecurity. I have one particular friend who, since me losing weight, has put on weight and practically force feeds me cake every time we meet for coffee. It's her way of saying, well, if you eat cake and are skinny, it makes it Ok for me to eat cake too. It pisses me off everytime. I buy the cake but mostly leave it. I wish I had the balls to say no to her but it's complicated isn't it?

Yes, insecurity is probably a better way of describing it.

I honestly think that those who struggle to keep weight on or off genetically are in a minority.

Most of us in our society eat too much of the wrong foods and do too little exercise. My best friend has been seemingly effortlessly slim all our lives and I always thought she ate whatever she wanted. When I actually looked at how and what she ate, she makes far more sensible choices than I used to.

It isn't rocket science, it is a balance of what you put in and burn off for most of us (there are some exceptions). It doesn't have to involve starving yourself and over doing the exercise.

And never mind what bloody dress size anyone wears, if it makes you feel healthier how can that be a bad thing?

"When I actually looked at how and what she ate, she makes far more sensible choices than I used to. "

I think sometimes that in itself can be genetic though too, in a way.

I naturally tend to smaller meal portions and quite often get bored before I get full (although this leads to a bad snacking habit in the evenings as I'll quite easily eat as many calories grazing on rubbish as I did on my main evening meal).

I remember many occasions being forced to clear my plate as a child and feeling ill having to eat those last few mouthfuls. Until more recently (when my appetite has increased due to more intense exercise), trips to restaurants were quite traumatic because the portion sizes are huge (to me) and the amount of guilt for leaving stuff (and the inevitable concerned comment from the waiter/waitress) was quite stressful.

If I eat badly for more than a couple of days in a row, I'm physically craving a salad or something really really light and fresh - far stronger than any of my pregnancy cravings. In conversation with some of my friends, not all people's bodies react in that way after eating badly - so clearly that's an advantage in my makeup that not everyone has.

Does that make sense?

Incidentally, I'm not saying the way I eat or the way I am is particularly healthy.

My father died at age 52 from a heart attack - he was skinny too. Just because you can eat what you like and it not show on your frame, doesn't actually mean that your cholesterol isn't sky high or that you're somehow immune to subsequent health risks.

RubberDuck That makes perfect sense, as I said, some might have a natural predisposition to eating less. I cannot imagine getting bored before getting full!

I think for most people, possibly due to back in days where food could get scarce, it is natural to eat as much as they want, and for me, food is a pleasurable thing, so it is hard overcoming that natural urge to eat too much especially in our society where food is all around us and we don't lead the lifestyles that would have burnt the calories off. The op has done well to do what she has done, if it makes her happier and she should not expect to be derided by her friends.

Also agree that skinnier doesn't equal healthier! But for me, being a healthy weight for my height is a far better feeling than when I was bigger and eating whatever I liked when I liked.

just caught up on this thread-agree slimmer isnt healthier.im the most unhealthy person i know and underweight.alot of friends that are average weight or overweight eat much healthier than me.

I have recently lost 30lbs and would be pissed off if people didn't notice it. I have to work hard and watch everything I eat but I feel great and if people are jealous...... Good. It means they have noticed.

I returned to work after maternity leave (a good stone or two heavier) to an office full of sucessful dieters! Actually was so jealous i could hardly comment on how good they looked, or how well they have done. Never mind its bloody hard work dieting and being hungry all the time. Their weight loss made me feel like even more of a fat bloater and more depressed about myself.

Decided to join them and have lost two stone and feel much better. OFten peoples comments are maybe a bit - like 'OMG - look at you skinny minnie'. I'm sure they mean well - even if it is tinged with jealousy.

Can someone please hypnotise me not to eat cake!

I think in this case - as with most cases where people say rude/personal things - this isn't actually anything to do with you. It's all about the person saying it and how they feel about themselves. Obviously, those 'friends' being rude to you have a lot invested in the fantasy that you lost weight because you're just 'lucky'.

Because if you're just lucky and didn't lose weight through hard work, then it's not their fault that they're still unhappy with their weight and they can continue to kid themselves that they are eating healthily, they are trying to lose the weight and they're just 'unlucky'.

And on the subject of friends and family with weird attitudes, every time I talk to my dad since I got pregnant he says "you'll have to watch your weight now!"

I have faithfully promised him that I will definitely be putting some on